When we lost Saralynn, we were told by family and friends, “not to worry” because we would, “have another baby.”
Coming from family I didn’t mind this since they knew how disappointed my husband and I were about not being able to raise a living child because that’s all we wanted. Coming from others, I took it in stride. It’s not like there has been a book written about what to say and not to say after someone faces an unimaginable loss – plus everyone takes things that are said to them differently.
But I did worry.
Would we be able to have another child?
How long would it take to happen again?
How do these people know that we’ll have another baby? I don’t want another baby, I want mine back!
I am happy to have the honor to announce that we are currently expecting our second little girl in November. We are very excited but also very cautious. Unfortunately, we know how fragile this precious life is.
Now that we are expecting- that we’re “having another baby”- the responses I’m getting from others, although well intended, is a bit off-putting.
What they want to tell is that they are relieved that we are having another baby and that we are being granted another chance to bring a child into our lives. But what we hear is more along the lines of, “Whew! See, everything is all better now! You’ll have a new baby!”
Having another child does not erase or correct the loss of our first child.
Saralynn will always be our first child. This little girl, while the experiences we will have with her will be new and precious, will still be our second child.
Every experience we will have, we will wonder what it would have been like with Saralynn. With every giggle we hear, we’ll wonder what Saralynn’s giggle would have sounded like. With every temper tantrum, we will wonder if Saralynn would act the same.
We are very blessed to be able to grow our family, but there will always be an emptiness in our hearts from the loss of our first born.