Let me preface this by saying that I enjoy doing most of the domestic tasks at home. Doing household chores is my way of showing my hubby that I care about him.
However, this year I started a job that required me to work longer hours 4 days a week. I quickly realized that our current chore system (me doing all the chores) was just not going to continue to work for me us.
We’re not alone. Now, more than ever, millennial military spouses are keeping their careers, which means traditional roles at home are shifting too.
It took a little bit of coaxing, but my boo quickly jumped on-board with sharing our household chores. He’s turned out to be a pro at loading the dishwasher, making the bed and taking out the trash.
Here’s a little more food for thought from The Atlantic as we are all working toward happier and healthier marriages
According to a 2007 Pew Research Poll, sharing household chores was in the top three highest-ranking issues associated with a successful marriage — third only to faithfulness and good sex. In this poll, 62 percent of adults said that sharing household chores is very important to marital success. There were no differences of opinion reported between men and women, between older adults and younger adults, or between married people and singles.
— The Difference Between a Happy Marriage and Miserable One: Chores
If you’re having trouble splitting the workload at home, these 6 tips are a great way to get your spouse to pitch in on household chores.
Decide Your Housekeeping Style Together
Is your idea of tidying your house giving it a full spring clean everyday? Does your spouse even know where the cleaning supplies are located at home?
Sit down together and decide your housekeeping style together. If you are OCD about some things, try letting a few things go for the sake of compromise (and your sanity).
On the flip side, if you’re both a little lazy, deciding to up your housekeeping game can be a fun way to work together toward a tidier house.
Make a List of the Household Chores You Hate Doing
I am terrible at remembering to make the bed, mostly because I’m always running late. Bae, on the other hand gets those hospital corners right every single time (thanks, Navy!).
That’s why we sat down and made a list of everything we hate doing, and decided we’d do those things for the other. If something was on both our lists, we took turns doing that particular household chore. Now, we actually look forward to our daily chores!
Let Your Spouse Do Chores His or Her Way
My hubs is super Type A. He likes his clothes folded a very specific way.
I don’t even bother to fold most of my clothes, preferring to strategically pile them on the floor instead. When I moved in and started doing our laundry, I would be infuriated to discover he’d gone behind me and refolded his clothes.
After several arguments, we’ve both given a little. Now, we do laundry together and fold our clothes however we like.
Turn the Household Chores into a Game
This tactic for getting chores done isn’t just for kids. Making menial household chores into a game is a fun way to make sure both of you complete your tasks.
For example, you might treat yourselves to meal out at the end of the week if all your chores get completed on time.
On the flip side, make sure there are (fun) consequences if one doesn’t complete all their chores by the deadline you set together.
Consider Outsourcing Your Household Chores
I am a supersaver, so I do not say this lightly!
But when you’re overworked and worn out from a week at the office, sometimes hiring a housekeeper can literally be a marriage saver.
It sounds extravagant, but it doesn’t have to be! Consider hiring the teenager down street to do light housework a couple days a week. You’d be surprised at how much better you’ll feel knowing you don’t have dive right into housework the minute you walk in the door.
Avoid the Blame Game
Inevitably, you and your spouse are going to argue about household chores. It sounds easy enough, but really avoid using “me” and “you” when discussing how you as a couple are going to tackle tasks.
Instead, approach the conversation using words like “we” and “us.” You’re on the same team, remember? Those dirty dishes in the sink are the real bad guys.
Dividing household chores is really based on mutual decisions between you and your spouse. Ultimately both of you will have to make like Henry Clay and compromise (I’m a history nerd, what can I say?) to work together.
It may be an adjustment at first, but after a few trial-and-error runs, your household chores will be as smooth as the peanut butter milkshake I’m about to slurp. That milkshake was my reward for getting my chores done this week!
