by Sean P. O’Driscoll, Guest Contributor
Morning ladies, I am looking to get some advice on what would be the best way to get my kids to help around the house while my husband is deployed. Thanks!
When reading those first words, can you tell who my question was directed to? Did you immediately quit reading the question and go to the comments section to remind the author that this is
1) a Facebook group of spouses (not wives)
2) expressed your feelings with some sort of emoji
3) replied with “I’m not a lady so I guess you don’t want my advice on your problem”
I do a combination of the three and so do other male military spouses. Why? Well, because that is what guys do.
It happens all the time. Most military spouse Facebook pages/groups have changed their description from a military “wives” to a “spouses” page/group after a request from one of us.
I messaged the admins of one military wives Facebook page about it, since they are a “multi-branch organization made up of Spouses, Girlfriends and Significant others of Military Personnel,” and the reply I got was “let me talk to our CEO but the branding came years ago before Facebook. Give me 10 minutes.”
Well, that was September 1 and I am still waiting for a response. After looking at their page description recently, it hasn’t changed but, they are “an organization that supports Female/Male Spouses and all Family members covering all branches of service.”
I was told I can join and be the male voice or I can create a group specifically for the male spouses of that particular area.
Now what good would that do? Aren’t we all supposed to work together and help each other out? I didn’t join their group, nor will I because it has already been made known that this is a “wives” group and yeah, men can join but would it really be worth it?
I wonder how many other male military spouses have seen this group but were turned off after reading the name and description of the group.
The days of the military being only something that men do while the wives stay home and take care of the household are long gone. More women are joining the military in ALL fields and with them comes male military spouses, female military spouses and their families.
What’s the difference between a male military spouse and a female military spouse whose service members are in the same unit and on the same deployment? Do the female military spouses not have bills, child care questions, yard work, car maintenance, and other similar things that male military spouses have? Maybe each other’s kids would like to interact with other kids whose parents are out defending our freedom?
I don’t have kids but when my wife deploys, I need some adult interaction! I love my dogs and all but they don’t talk much and can’t carry on a conversation. They only “talk” when the postal worker drops off a package or they see a deer in the yard.
Other than that, it’s pretty quiet around so having some sort of local spouses group to be a part of would really help out in the socialization department.
So the next time you post a question in a military spouse Facebook group, please take into consideration who is in your audience. Because we might have a solution to your question too.
Sean P. O’Driscoll is an Emergency Medical Technician and has been a military spouse for 6 years. His experiences in military spouse groups lead to his decision to start writing as a military spouse. More of his writings can be seen at militaryspouse.com.
Well said Sean. Male Milspouse of 14 years here. I have experienced exactly what you’ve said. Used to make a real effort to be involved but have now mostly given up on the spouses’ clubs.