Having Trouble Making Friends? Join the Club. Literally.

assistance-72834_640By Kate Laing of Tips From the Homefront

As military spouses, it’s up to us to find friends and community with each PCS but I’m not one to easily put myself out there and make friends.  I like to stick to the “I like being alone” mantra but honestly, who likes that?  Isn’t it just an excuse?  Maybe, maybe not.  But, that is what I told myself for years!  Especially when it came to exercise.  That 30-60 mins a day was my time for me (Even though my kids were with me most of the time. Who was I kidding?).

So, the day I stumbled upon a flyer for a new FREE running club for military spouses I knew I had to spread the word for them.  It was something our base needed!

But, me? Nah… I liked my “alone time”.

On the day the club launched their first run I showed up and introduced myself and said after this upcoming race I might join them.  Might.

What I hadn’t really considered was how much I actually needed this group!  I needed the support and friendship.  I believe lots of spouses do but, if we are reserved we don’t join them for our own reasons.  Mine being that I didn’t need a running buddy.

Spouses who are somewhat introverted can really struggle with finding where they fit in.  It’s hard to reach out and attend a meeting with lots of people.  I’m not one to do well in a new group setting.  All those people!  Who do you talk to?  What do you talk about?  But, I firmly believe that if you take a leap of faith and break out of your comfort zone you may surprise yourself.

What about me?   What did I do?  Did I take a leap of faith with these spouses and their running club?

“Maybe” Can Turn into a “Yes”

Well, the leaders didn’t give up on me.  They asked me to join them every time I saw one of them and I smiled and said, “Maybe” for a couple of months.  Then, I experienced the worst race to date!  On the drive home I thought long and hard about how I was going to overcome that experience and move forward.  It was during that drive that the light bulb came on and I made my leap of faith and joined them at their next run.

They completely changed my view on groups and clubs!  I’m forever changed because I joined that running club.  In it I found loyalty, encouragement, support and most important friendship!  And the day I moved and had to leave them it broke my heart.  But, this much I know is true….that no matter how scared I am to step out of my comfort zone that level of friendship will be waiting for me.

So, to the reserved and introverted spouses, I challenge you to make a leap of faith and stop looking in from the outside.  Join that group or club you have been eyeing!  You never know what could be waiting on the other side.

IMG_3917Hi, my name is Kate and I have been married to a my husband for over 10 years and we have two very energetic but delightful boys that make me laugh everyday! It’s my hope that for every reader that visits this blog they take away something they didn’t know before and pass it along to at least one other person.  We are not just Navy, Army, Marines, Coast Guard and Air Force families, we are MILITARY families and we are all in this life together!

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  1. […] many different benefits that come from participating in events on post. You don’t even need to “join” a club. By just attending, it’s a great way to get exposure for yourself by being seen and […]


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