Give Up The Guilt Of Rehoming Your Pet

When I would see a posting on Facebook for a “free pet to a good home” I would silently think to myself what other people would post in response…

“You should have thought about the expenses of a pet before bringing it home!”

“Pets are like family; you don’t just get one for the heck of it then dump it on someone else!”

“Too far of a move to take your pet? You’re just making excuses to get rid of it! How dare you!”

“You should have gotten a kid friendly dog! The dog was there before the kid, anyway!”

These advertisements for pets dramatically increase during PCS season. They are loyal and loving and are now being deserted by selfish owners.

In response, there are usually pictures of adorable pets who have been abandoned asking what they did wrong to be given away or pictures showing pets with a family saying that you are their whole life.

It’s true; pets are a loving commitment and financial responsibility. They quickly become part of the family and become attached to their people. When they are given away so quickly, so hastily, for some excuse, you just can’t help but feel terrible for the pet and anger toward the owners.

I used to be like you. You Judgey McJudgerson you.

I have proudly adopted every animal I have welcomed into my life. I really cannot imagine my life without my fur-kids…2 dogs and a cat. The cat has always been on her own program, but when she does decide to snuggle it’s so sweet. And the dogs are always so happy when I come home! They truly bring so much joy to my life – just like my baby!

Aaahhhhh, yes…baby…

The dogs are six years old; the kid is six months old. They had my undivided attention for five years, then this crying little thing came along and took all of my attention.  My husband would come from work and the dogs would practically trample him begging to go outside. “Have you taken the dogs outside today?” Nope.

“Free to good home. Cannot take care of properly due to having a baby.”

I used to judge you. Now I get it.

We didn’t have a fenced in yard at the house we were renting. I had to leash up the dogs and walk them around the yard until their business was done.

When you have a crying newborn, leaving it alone in the house for who knows how long is the last thing you want to do. The poor dogs would just watch me with the baby all day and give me sad looks.

Now that the kid is a little older, she is starting to grab and pull at the dogs. One does great while the other makes me a little nervous. He clearly just tolerates the kid, but if the dog makes a move at her it’ll be gone faster than you can blink!

How was I to know six years ago that the military would send us halfway across the country? That the ONLY house we would find to rent that allowed dogs would not have a fenced yard?

That I would go from not wanting a kid to I-want-a-kid-now? Could I have predicted that one dog may not do well with a kid?

We do not have control over where the military sends us or what new rules the military comes out with. We already had our dogs, one is mixed with Pit and the other Shepherd, when the Marine Corps decided to ban “dangerous breeds” from base housing. Can’t say I’m too upset that we can’t live on base, but it does make renting challenging.

We have no way of predicting what will come our way as a military family. Should that mean that we can’t make life a little more joyful by bringing a pet into the picture?

Regardless of why a family can’t keep a pet, the ultimate goal of those advertisements is to make sure the pet ends up with a loving family. This also happens to be what you keep preaching about, Judgey McJudgerson.

So quit leaving guilt-filled comments and instead be constructive and find that pet a home!

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144 COMMENTS

  1. This type of attitude, lack of commitment, and excuse-making is exactly why military families are now stereotyped as lousy pet owners. Many shelters and rescues now refuse to allow military to adopt!

    Sometimes people judge because other people do things deserving of judgement. That’s how we all develop our own sense of ethics and conscience.

    We once rehomed our first pets (as a married couple) due to some of the reasons listed here: new baby, first PCS (from OCONUS to CONUS, no less). Was I overwhelmed? Certainly. But was it really “for the best”, or did I make excuses and take the easy way out at the expense of our pets? Absolutely the latter. Time, experience, and wisdom have taught me that those were the actions of an immature and selfish version of my current self. I make no excuses in saying that.

    I honestly doubt you’ll be proud of having written this 10 years from now.

    • Military should never be allowed to adopt any type of pet, especially dogs.

      • You have got to be kidding me. My family is milt art and we have 2 happy and healthy dogs that would be dead, yes DEAD, if it weren’t for us making the choice to take them home. Will moving be difficult, yes, will re homing be a part of their future, possibly, but at least they are alive and happy and not in a barrel full of other dead dogs the shelters should be refusing military families if you had
        Your way. Don’t you ever say the people fighting for your freedom should have less freedom than you.

        • I love your t response. The ending sentence gave me chills. So true.

          • Crystals comments seem self serving.Obviously you haven’t served your country.Sometimes judging people feel it’s right to put their personal hangups on others lol that’s why you don’t judge.Your situation isn’t someone else’s neither are your pets just like theirs.Imagine they did the right thing for their kids and or pets.Sometimes revoking a pet is the right thing for THE PET.Not all animals like other animals.Just like people.Love your pets enough to give them ANOTHER home if you can’t keep them.Their well being should be a priority and no one should have to choose them over their kids or allergies etc.Be blessed yall

          • Not revoke haha ReHome

        • Fighting for our freedom? Just what century do you think this is? It’s not the 1700s. Military people know they don’t have stable homes and have no business taking in pets that they’ll end up discarding soon. Don’t upset a creature’s life just because you want a new “toy.”

          • No John.Thats probably the dumbest thing a so called animal person ever said.I have pets and fosters my daughter at UCLA learned from me how to care about animals. I’m a vet of 2 wars and a college grad.What did you ever do that gives you right judging soldiers?

          • Elizabeth Rouse

            No one really has a stable home, many move due to jobs in the civilian world. Be it 1700 or 2017, Your arrogance is disgusting. Being military should not deprive anyone of the joy of having a pet. Many spend thousands of $ transporting their pets with them. I brought six back from Japan, have moved to different states with them. Your, “I’m better than troops” is pathetic. My dogs are now between 13 and 16 years old.

          • Finally someone with sense. Our children come first, period.

    • Thank you for your comment.

      • My husband served in the military and during that time, we adopted a cat. We had moved around twice before he retired. We had our kitty until she passed away three years ago at age 18.You can’t judge all military members the same. How many business people travel and move, are you going to restrict all pet owners based on their occupation?

    • Oh my god! Wow! So many saints found right here in the comments section! People who are always perfect and right and never make mistakes! People whose lives never change! So MANY saints!

      Please, judgers, when you have a life free from hardship, pain, difficult choices, mistakes, heartbreak, things that ‘just dont work out’, or whatever, then spare the rest of us who don’t care to hear your tongue wag to judge and chastise others. Until you wear a halo, no one wants to hear your crap.

      • Dear EM SAYS! Completely agree with you. I hate this type of “saints”. They make everything hard for the rest of us. And. They will never wear a halo. Not in this life nor in a future one:) They think they can judge? ….Loosers.

    • We live in a small flat with two 3year old dogs. One is male and the other is female. The male is always howling or making noise seeing at the female during her periods .So my mom decided to give away only the male dog as he behaves in such a way.I have no idea whether the two would survive or not as the are two different breeds born for the same mother and they grew up together. I have no idea how to control the male dog during the female’s periods. So please help me as I cannot give away them.

      • Are you serious? Take them to the vet to have them fixed, spayed and neutered.

      • Elizabeth Rouse

        Have you not taken your dogs to a vet ever? Shots? You’ve never read up on getting your dogs fixed?

      • In your case I would say take them to your veterinarian to have them both fixed.There are many health benefits and you’ll notice they’ll “behave” if you will more like brother and sister.Now actually many cities require pets to be fixed but do it for the right reason:your pets will be more comfortable not having hormones running through them

  2. What I have a problem with is those that will get a cute little kitten only to throw it out like trash when it’s time to PCS. I can’t understand how someone can put their cat outside when it’s time to move to a new duty station. I’ve been in the military for 14 years and I have 2 dogs and a cat (I had 2 cats but had to put my sweet Ruby to sleep when she started having kidney failure at only 5 years old) my 2 dogs (I call my girls) are going on 9 years old and my cat is 10 and they have traveled with us everywhere we have moved, we are currently in Washington state and we drove from Georgia to here and they were right there with us, I couldn’t imagine leaving them behind. It’s just those that throw cats out and leave that really bothers me. Don’t get a kitten, they turn into cats, yes full grown cats. They are not throw away animals. All my animals have been spayed too.

    • I have seen this so many times, I’ve lost count. Owners who feel no guilt over abandoning pets because “they’re just animals,” and on the first inconvenience they just move and leave it. I’ve seen dogs chasing families in their moving van and U-Haul trucks, trying desperately to catch up, only to end up at the KILL shelter since nobody wants a scared 7-year old dog who’s totally alone for the first time in its life and not acting adorable. We lived on Camp Pendleton for about 11 years during 2 different time periods, and both times the base housing experienced phases of infestation levels of loose cats who, since they weren’t actually wild or feral, did vast amounts of damage to the so-called “protected ecosystem” on base. Then to compound the problems, plenty of the male dogs were large, badly socialized due to being owned by “thug” style owners who wanted a “scary” dog, and rarely were they neutered (because having a neutered dog somehow harmed the male owners manhood), which meant loose and pregnant dogs everywhere as well. No matter how many were trapped there were always more, and the excuses every time were the same as what you’ve said here. I just SMH at the nonsense of it.

  3. Just another excuse…. Problem:”I dont have a fence and have to walk my dogs” Solution: train your dog not to run away and stay within the perimeter, it’s easy and if you don’t know how seek help. Problem: “We are having a newborn” Solution: If you honestly have to decided between your existing “child” (your dog) and a biological child that has not been born yet the you should not be breeding…Im pregnant with 3 dogs and fostering 1 due July…my dogs are not going anywhere I made the commitment to them before i made the commitment to my child. Problem: “I dont have time for them” Solution: BS!! You make time, my husband and I have already set up responsibilities for each other concerning the dogs and child if I dont have time to walk them for what ever LAZY reason I give then he as a RESPONSIBLE adult will take the time to play, walk and interact with the dogs while I tend to the child or the other way around. Problem: We are moving and cant take them with us” Solution: Unless the country or state bands the breed then there is no reason why you cant take your dog with you, the excuse the woman on the article gave was that they had just banned the breed …if she actually cared she could have grandfathered in her dog but she doesnt care. I packed a truck full of things and brought my dogs with me to live in the smallest hole we could find in FT hood because it meant we could keep them…we literally relinquished our comfort and luxury to make sure we had a place where we could keep our dogs AND we have no yard but they are trained to stay in the perimeter we allow them. Problem: “My dog is kid aggressive or doesn’t get along with my child” Solution: THAT IS YOUR FAULT…. you should have trained the dog properly and socialized him OR maybe not have a child until the dog passed away NATURALLY because it’s your fault not the dogs. I have a dominat dog who wont tolerate puppies thats my fault but we never leave him alone with puppies and he does likes kids but I will NEVER leave my child unattended or a puppy unattended with him that is just irresponsible and I would also not let the pup or baby bother him to the point whee he feels he needs to correct them…Excuses that is all they are excuses and when you give them a solution the finally come out and say “I just want the dog gone”….

    • Will you be giving your child up for adoption then if for whatever reason the child is allergic to the dogs, has asthma or is born with autism and can’t handle so much commotion of multiple pets since you made your pet commitment first? The whole point of the article is that life happens and sometimes you have to make tough choices and when it comes to your health , children and jobs your pet is always second. A pet is not a child it is a pet! If you can no longer take care of it the way you should you should give it to someone who can. Not every pet can be trained and not every person is equipped to handle the stress of children and pets.

      • There are treatments for allergies. Why would you not take your allergic child to an allergy specialist to get proper treatment? But you need to make an extreme example to respond to the comment, since the realistic reaction… proper medical intervention… isn’t bombastic enough to justify your excuses. A pet and a child are both responsibilities YOU CHOOSE to take on. One does not cancel the other out, and someone incapable of dealing with a baby and a dog should likely seek mental health care for their serious anxiety problem. Or, should I take your tone and offer a bombastic example of my own? “Why wouldn’t you, after having a second infant and being so tired and unequipped to handle two individual beings relying on you, put your first child up for adoption? After all, your commitment should only be for the current cute young thing in your house, not the old not-so-cute thing that has gotten on your nerves a couple times and you’d like to be rid of.

        • I find this response really harsh. I rehomed our dog this week and have been crying since even though I know he is with a great family. I never took him in with the intentions of giving him away and it makes me feel like a failure. Truth is our son does have sensory processing disorder and TONS of allergies. He had extreme anxiety and daily therapy 1 1/2 hours away. Our son does have an allergiest specialist and we tried hard for a year to manage as a family. We bought the recommended hepa filters, bathed often, and kept the dog out of our sons room and main play areas, but our son kept getting hives weekly. He is allergic to zrytec and allegra as well so the only option was benedryl which made my kiddo exhausted. We tried so hard to make it work, but our puppy ended up being crated for hours whole at therapy and howled when we were home bit he couldn’t play in the room we are in. Don’t be so quick to judge some families do try everything but see the dog get anxious and depressed due to the unfortunate circumstances.

          • I have been looking all over the internet for something to sooth my heart because we had to rehome our two cats. My husband has asthmatic attacks and we have: disallowed them into the bedroom, washed the cats with expensive allergen shampoo, shampoo the carpets and all furniture and all draperies regularly; use HEPA filters in the AC, use a HEPA air purifier in the bedroom; primatine, inhaler, rescue inhaler, and nebulizer, gone to the allergist and done expensive tests and shots… and still he has asthmatic allergy attacks where he can’t drive and has to pull over because he is losing oxygen and control over his driving, has to go outside at 3am to breathe, and lands him into urgent care for attacks that leave him breathless and hurts his ribcage from the effort to breathe. Last time we were getting him a shot in the urgent care I just could not put him through it anymore. I wish there was a place where you could find comfort in having to give up a pet that you did EVERYTHING to keep because it hurts so bad but no matter what there is somebody pointing the finger to blame you for being careless and lumping you in with people who just don’t care about their animals. I love them and they went to people who offered unique living scenarios perfect for their temperaments and my heart breaks for them living with new people, wondering where we are, my kids for losing their beloved pets, and knowing that forever I can not have an animal with any kind of fur because no matter what we do it will always put my husband in life threatening scenarios. My house and my heart are empty of my kitty loves. It helps to see somebody else who understands what it is like when a family member has serious allergies, not just oh my eyes water and I sneeze, but serious life allergies. Thanks for what you wrote.

          • People love to criticize others. I’m sorry you’re going through such a hard time Jessica, hang in there.

          • I had to re-home my dog today and my heart is shattered.

      • Oh my god! Wow! So many saints found right here in the comments section! People who are always perfect and right and never make mistakes! People whose lives never change! So MANY saints!

        Please, judgers, when you have a life free from hardship, pain, difficult choices, mistakes, heartbreak, things that ‘just dont work out’, or whatever, then spare the rest of us who don’t care to hear your tongue wag to judge and chastise others. Until you wear a halo, no one wants to hear your crap.

        • Christine A Carlson

          Exactly! It is gut wrenching to have to give up a beloved pet. What separates us from animals is that we have the ability to think things through, look at all sides, and decide what is best and what is right for our families. Sometimes giving up a beloved pet is what is BEST for our family.

          Someone will always be there to say what we did was wrong or inhumane. That’s when we just have to realize, “It’s their right to have their opinion.” Whether having to euthanize a sick pet because we can’t afford a $6000 surgery or rehoming a dog because our life has drastically changed, someone is going to judge us.

          The fact of the matter is that we can’t predict what life will bring and keeping a dog or cat that is threatening the happiness and health of our home would not be the best for the animal.

          • Thank you for being intelligent and kind. The only thing this world is really lacking is a little more kindness and less judging eachother.

            No one can walk a mile in someone else shoes and understand everything about them. But still everyone judges people as if they do.

    • This coming from someone who hasn’t actually had her child yet — you have no idea what life with a baby human is like. But you will. And then you’ll likely have far more compassion for the woman brave enough to write this story about re-homing her dog. Don’t be an asshole and put yourself in other people’s shoes — not everyone’s experience of life is the same as yours.

      • That’s what I was thinking. Thank you for saying it.

    • Yadie, the reason you’re “pregnant with three dogs…” is because you’re a bitch.

      • It’s not surprising that people are so judging but if they have life changing event they’re first ones to give up their pets boyfrien or gf then they preach to others as if they didn’t try do their homework figuring what kinds of pets can fit in their lifestyle without leaving them in the yard 24/7 Pretty much there is a pet for everyone many have multiple types of pets.Whichever u choose try always remember there is a do right by the pet God gave us stewardship over pet and food production animals for a reason they can’t take care of themselves like young children.Craigslist is for AFTER you’ve asked friends neighbors co workers relatives if they’d like to rehome your pet

    • Wow you’re dumb and insensitive.

      • Thats a first lol😀. What surprises me more than judgey people is that so many so called animal people dont actually keep their own pets or fosters?Animals arent on same level as people because we’re supposed take care of animals.To me real animal people have their own pets AND maybe still have time foster another.To those normal headed people props, and to my fellow war vets thanks for your service and commitment to your pet families

  4. The whole point of this post was to say that people shouldn’t judge. And the writer got … A whole lot of judgment in the comments. I love my dog but I TOTALLY understand why someone might need to find a new home for a pet, especially when they add children to a family. Newsflash: Pets, no matter how much we love them, aren’t people. Finding a new home for a pet is the same type of pain as deciding to divorce. How about encouraging people to rehome responsibly (interview potential adopters, don’t just drop off at a shelter) instead of bashing someone already facing a tough choice?

    • The problem though Rebekah, is that for most people who abandon or “surrender” their pets, its not ‘the same type of pain as deciding to divorce.’ Shelters are full of dogs who will probably be killed. Giving your dog to a kill shelter, posting him/her on craigslist (where they will probably be picked up to be used as a bait dog) or abandoning them on the side of the road are all completely unacceptable. An owner who ‘rehomes’ their pet any of these ways is either ignorant and careless or a heartless prick. Unfortunately, the pet owners who actually rehome their pets responsibly are the minority. If anything, people need to be judged more for mistreating animals and tossing them aside like trash. I’m more concerned about the (apx) 2.7 million dogs and cats that are euthanized every year than I am about the hurt feelings of irresponsible owners.

      • When people bash others for having to give up a pet, for whatever reason, they never specify the way you just specified. The majority of what you people do is make everyone feel guilty. I have had to give up a pet before, and I took the time to find him a good and loving home. There is never any caveat as to what makes someone a bad person for rehoming a pet. Even when people give details about how they have responsibly rehomed a pet, there is still always a reaction of, “You monster! You horrible person! Don’t you know an animal’s life is more important than your own?!” So, Jess, it seems as though you are in the minority when you say that you only aim to attack people who leave their dogs on the side of the road, or drop them at kill shelters, etc. These are TERRIBLE actions, and I believe you should definitely be judged harshly and made to feel like a monster if you just decide to up and move one day and leave your dog stranded on the side of the road. That’s heinous, but let’s all try to gear our anger and criticism towards people who do those types of things – not people who are heartbroken that they have to give their fur babies away and put in the time and energy to finding good and loving homes.

      • People are so extreme. I have had to rehome animals plenty of times. In fact, I have rehomed animals for others as well. I have taken in strays who were a part of our family for a week or two while we cleaned them up and completed interviews to find new homes. I even had to rehome one of my two own dogs. He was a blue nose pit and Lord knows how many “thugs” are just looking for the blue pit for reasons you already know. I went through at least 6 interviews (and many more people walked at the mention of an interview) before finally finding a home. In fact, I still get updates on his progress and can see him whenever I want. The thing people forget, that although we can develop a deep love for these animals, the bottom line is there is a difference between animals and people, no matter how much we love them. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt to let go, but it is what it is.

        I am still chuckling at the comment above about judging those who do things worth judging. That person’s contempt alone is something the Creator will hold into account come their time. FYI, I’m not going to read any replies to this post so you’ll be wasting your time trying to argue the existance of God with me.

        I found a good home for my boy. He gets lots of attention that I can’t give, and I will likely be rehoming my other dog soon as well for personal reasons that I’m not going to share because honestly to those who are so inexplicably fanatical about the topic you will argue any point anyway.

        The point is, sometimes it’s not selfish to find a new home for a pet. Sometimes, so long as you’re not just cycling through pets left and right and making genuine effort to find a good new home, finding a new home could be the best thing for your pet. Just make sure to keep in my why you made the decision so you don’t repeat mistakes.

        Do I feel guilty for rehoming my boy? No. Do we miss him? Absolutely! Is he living a good life? Yes. Are we glad we made the decision? Yes. Will life go on? Yes. Do I care what all you extremists have to say about my post? Not at all.

        I’m just showing support to the people out there who are actually human. To every tough decision there is a hidden blessing. If you have to rehome your pet, for whatever reason, do it with love and consideration for your furry friend and learn from the experience so you do not have to repeat the same decisions in the future.

        To those who are struggling with the decision to rehome, do what’s right for you, accept whichever choice you make, learn from it and move forward with life.

        To those of you who have anything negative to say. I don’t care.

        God bless you all 🙂

        • Derrik Schrambling

          Agreed Michael id bet most of the people judging here havent fostered an housepet or really considered some circumstances like severe allergies require people to keep people FIRST not in selfish way in a normal way you have to be okay and strong to live with pets they require alot of your time.And they deserve that and any extra effort on our part they try give back with their unconditional love.Many breeds and pets live longer than some realise.And if u have to rehome make effort ask co workers friends relatives, youd be surprised how many ppl dont.Good luck and God bless

        • mI have been searching for some comfort and found this here.
          I have been feeding a stray tom cat for about 5 weeks.
          I couldn’t keep him so did everything I could to find him a good home..
          I found some good people who live 4 miles away and took him to their home that night where he looked happy.
          Apparently after I left he went nuts, peed on their furtniture and would not have a bar of being kept in.
          They let him into the garden and stayed there with him until 3am in the morning.
          They got tired, he wouldn’t come back into the house, so they went to bed.
          Of course, he had gone.
          We are hoping he will either try and get back to me or the new owners once he has calmed down.
          Now I feel like *I* abandoned and dumped him when he trusted only me.
          I have been beside myself ever since.
          I just want him to be safe,.
          I feel like it is *me* who cut off his food supply and took him away from his territory.
          I hope he finds someone else who will feed him.
          I am so distraught over this that my chest hurts.

          • In your case I’d remember cats especially ones unfixed wander often.Really as a ” dog person” with 3 adult fixed cats I can honestly say cats do whatever they want.You can teach them things THEY want to do.Its not about you lol animals have personalities and instincts.Just like people some animals learn unsociable behaviors some don’t even like other animals.You sound like you did right by this cat some are better as farm cats where they can wander.Theres a rescue in UTAH best friends Message them on FB good luck and God Bless

        • Thank you Michael. Our five year old dog Harvey was rehomed yesterday and I feel devastated. But I know it was the best thing for him. Our older dog is developing arthritis and we were forced to crate him all day for 12-18 hour periods because his active play style was causing our old pup Willow severe distress. It wasn’t fair to Harvey though to be crated for the majority of the day. I didn’t see things getting better so I chose to find a no-kill shelter in our local area who will help him find his adopted home.

          Yes I feel terrible but I feel like I made the right choice for Harvey. He deserves an active lifestyle both in and outside of the home and doesn’t deserve to be crated everyday. He is five and has a long lifetime ahead of him.

          • I had to let go of my boy today. We moved from a bourse to a condo. I thought he would do well inside. We have been here 8 months and in that time he has peed and pooped on our furniture when we weren’t home, so we have to kennel him while at work/ school and at night, he’s gotten off his leash 2-3 times a week. He does not like other dogs… so today when he got off he bit a pug. Of course my neighbor was irate and we decided that it was best if we take him to the humane society. I want him to be happy and he wasn’t happy living with us anymore. My kids are devastated. I’m devastated. I can’t sleep. He was part of our family for 7 years. I just didn’t know what else to do.

        • Thank you, are you the only rational human out there? All this black and white and no gray, all the judgmental people not taking in to account a human’s thoughts and emotions and just the dog’s. It’s by no measure and easy decision to make for many (most) dog owners. Sometimes it’s absolutely necessary and the best thing not only for the human, but the DOG, TOO. No dog needs to be with a human who doesn’t have the time, energy or appreciation for them any longer! That is absolutely selfish to keep them in such a situation.

  5. Seriously people. Pets are pets – children are people. Stop judging . Rather spend your time finding solutions to real problems like starving people in 3 rd world countries ( or even right here in USA), homelessness , racism to name a few.Talk is cheap, get off your high-horse and be a productive member of society instead of bringing others down.

    • What I read: “it’s okay to be a heartless monster as long as they’re not people.” I’m sure poachers and the people who skin animals alive would entirely agree with you…

      • Derrik Schrambling

        Uh bro nobody is supporting poachers or ppl who skin animals stick to the actual conversation lol

        • Derrik Schrambling

          I personally have a few dogs+cats and still have room and time to foster.Im not vegan neither are my pets lol.Everything and everyone every animal deserves respect and some are raised for food+food production even if their is room for improvements.No need be extreme.People are higher importance because we are blessed with stewardship of our animal buddies and to those rehoming tks for making effort

      • @ Gene, Funny, when given a valid argument, you lean on that straw man fallacy. Be pertinent or no one will ever take you seriously.

  6. Thank you Rebecka, just today, after years of consideration, I took my beautiful 6 year old cat to a friends ranch to be a barn cat.

    I did not do this for an excuse or just for my benefit. Judge me as you may… (So you are just cruel to humans and not pets then)..l

    My Neko is a great cat. She was a 1 year old feral cat when I found her outside in the rain 6 years ago. Neko wanted to always go outside. I am an indoor cat person. For 6 years I watched her miserably try to get out at each and every opportunity real or imagined, with a major street just 100 yards away. She had really no quality of life.

    I ride horses at a friends ranch well off the beaten path. So I weighed the situations and took her to the ranch today. The rancher knows how to handle this situation, she has two other working cats (barn cats). Neko will be in a two story cat cage in the large tack room for about 4-5 weeks so she can get used o the horses, roosters, mini horses, other cats and o steer clear of predators.

    The barn cats are fed canned food morning and evening and dry free feeding everyday. I love her, I already miss her even harder as I had to send my older cat at 23 years old, (since she was 8 weeks old) to rainbow bridge.

    So haters gonna hate, but haters need to remember that the larger part of pet owners agonize over a decision to rehome. Believe me I am dying inside right now and I will be able to see her regularly!

    And as for the sorry ass hating posts here, you are just doing the same thing to us, humans as you accuse us of doing to our pets.

    Eventually we all have to sit down to a banquet of consequences and I would rather sit down to my banquet then yours for sure!

    • It sounds like you did the right thing for your situation actually. It’s important to understand the nature of the animals we keep and what they need. I think this article is geared more towards military families and the judgement is coming from people who don’t understand how you can use PCSing as an excuse to relinquish a pet, like it was some big surprise that they might have to move one day. Your situation seems very different and I applaud your strength and selflessness. I hope you’re able to find a nice indoor only cat, I know there are tons out there that need homes

    • You are a responsible owner. You found the best home for your cat because she was genuinely better off as a barn cat. I really respect and admire that.

  7. Empty, selfish, self-serving whines, the lot of it. “Have you let the dogs out today?” “Nope.” You’re just another lazy dog owner who, when circumstances in your life changed, you let it change your MORALITY. But hey, you were TIRED, so don’t feel guilty about possibly sending your “furbabies” to their eventual death, which a vast majority of unwanted animals experience in short order once abandoned. I used to say to myself “you don’t know their lives, what they’re going through,” and tried to reason it must have been necessary. Then I spent 18 (and ongoing) years as a USMC spouse, and I learned better. I watched people with HONOR maintain their commitments, both to the people and the innocent animals they took into their lives. And Ii watched people with LITTLE HONOR gush about how “loyal” their dog was, how it defended them from a home invasion, only to be beguiled the next week when they’d no longer have the dog because “they couldn’t deal with it any longer.”

    You feel guilty. GOOD. You should, and all the rest of you who abandon the animals you profess to love should as well. There is no excuse. I have kept my own animals, and even very problematic animals, through to the end, through deployments, family emergencies, no-notice PCS moves, international duty posts, animal behavioral problems, and more. And we have NEVER come to a point where the only answer was to give up our responsibility for the animal we chose to include in our lives. In all these years I have only ever seen a COUPLE situations where the animal was genuinely better off elsewhere, and that was because they were bad and lazy owners who finally saw some semblance of light and made a final good decision for their pet, and a couple others who had serious physical disorders, leaving them LITERALLY incapable of caring for their pets on their own. The vast majority are not such cases.

    • Yes! Thank you for writing this! We have really struggled with my 16 year old dog with severe separation anxiety, but I am slowly training him (difficult because he is deaf). I would never give up my dogs under any circumstances unless I died, and even then they would hopefully go to my mom and sister.

    • Ituri! omg! another saint! wow! i would LOVE to meet you in person! So many saints found right here in the comments section! People who are always perfect and right and never make mistakes! People whose lives never change! So MANY saints!

      Please, judgers, when you have a life free from hardship, pain, difficult choices, mistakes, heartbreak, things that ‘just dont work out’, or whatever, then spare the rest of us who don’t care to hear your tongue wag to judge and chastise others. Until you wear a halo, no one wants to hear your crap.

      • She already specified that she was a “USMC wife”, aka military wife, aka don’t-really-have-anything-going-on-for-herself.

        The fact that she started off her argument with how her HUSBAND serves, you already know what kind of person she is.

        And all too often, I see people like that cry and beg for help when they end up in a bad situation and call everyone else “heartless” and “selfish”.

        • Holy mother of… okay. Wait a minute. Let me catch my breath.

          What in the actual f#%k is the matter with you people? To be honest, I came here looking for some advice on HOW to rehome my dog, not whether or not a bunch of judgmental dickbags thought it was okay that I made a decision. This is quite possibly the funniest set of self righteous bull I’ve ever read. Are you people honestly that bad at actual human interaction that you’ve placed all of these feelings on an animal? Get a hug. From a person. For christ’s sake pay for it if you have to.

          I have a loving family (wife, three kids, and me) and we are charitable, honest, intelligent, and capable people. Both my wife and oldest child wanted a dog for years (the younger ones weren’t really involved in the process). We decided to get a dog last year, and chose a great dane for a variety of reasons.

          He’s an awesome dog; well behaved, great with the kids, easy to train, never aggressive, and any other set of things that you want to include. We’ve installed invisible fences, bought the best food, kept him up to date on medical needs, the whole gambit.

          I had no idea that I wasn’t a dog person. But I’m not. I don’t want to dislike owning a dog, but I do. I gave it a year (during which I took every bit of advice there was to attempt to bond with him, and it did nothing)…

          …I’ll pause here for a second to address all of those snarky thoughts… Not a sociopath, I have a wonderful family, and great friends, that I care for deeply. I am in no way an “Alpha male” type, who can’t show feelings. I thoroughly researched what went in to having a dog, but didn’t anticipate this particular outcome, and I am an incredibly responsible and driven person, who has taken perfect care of the dog. Continuing on…

          Due to circumstances that are not able to be changed, it is mostly my responsibility to take care of the dog. Cleaning, feeding, waste pickup (if I were to admit not being ready for one thing, it was the sheer metric tonnage of sh*t created by this dog), walking, playing with, etc. All things that I continue to do, but here’s the end of the story.

          I just don’t want to do it anymore. This particular dog’s breeding predicts that he’ll live potentially eleven more years. I’m starting to resent the dog, and by default the people around me, and I refuse to live like that for another ten years. And yes, my happiness is more important that your judgment. I will find a good home for the dog, and ensure that they take care of him as well as we have, and will actually care for him. As for my family, we don’t want, nor will we get another dog.

          And if you have anything you’d like judge, you’re either an idiot or an asshole.

    • Em, you sound quite aggravated by your own lack of empathy and moral failures. We are not saints, we simply have a conscious. Is this not possible for you?

      • No one has conscious. You’re either conscious or not, which if you’re reading this then you probably are. Unless you’re drunk, then you’re probably pseudo conscious.

        • Some of you are missing the real point.Feeling for animals is not enough.Its feeling for the people who keep animals as their companions.Both the animals who help bless us as companions and some as food AND the normal everyday kind people who keep pet/s as family are heroes AND the men& women and their families who serve our ARMED FORCES and still find time to enjoy pet animals as family should be proud of their commitment to our proud country USA and to their family companion animals.As the original post in the thread says look beyond your selfish ego and self serving beliefs and judgments and stop judging others.If you really love animals respect everyone’s differing ability and commitment to keep and respect them as family.Dont put your hang ups on others.Just find room in your heart and home for pet animals.Real animal lovers have pets no time to judge look within improve YOURSELF that’s how you change your world stop judging and be blessed yall

        • In other words, it is NOT possible for Em to have a conscious.

          • In other words each person has their own sense of right for them their family and the pets involved.Sometimes you have to look beyond yourself and love your pets enough to let them have another good home if you can’t keep them.Some y’all act like your way is only way.Which is complete BS and those ppl know they’re putting their personal beliefs or hang ups on others that’s the judging the original thread author was alluding to

    • I so agree with you Ituri. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve wanted my own dog, but the rest of my family wasn’t on board with the idea. When I was older, I still held off because I was thinking of working overseas and didn’t want to leave a pet behind. I only brought a dog into my life when I came back to my home country and decided that I’m going to freelance and will never leave again, because then I can be with my dog 24/7.

      Now I get where the other commenters are coming from. I totally understand that things happen, no matter how well we think we have planned out our life to be. There are pet owners who have exhausted all means and have tried everything to keep their pet. There are cases when rehoming a pet is the best thing to do not just for the owner, but for the pet, such as in cases when the owner is extremely sick, the animal needs to be constantly outdoors, etc. But I don’t find any of the reasons in this post acceptable at all. For someone working in the military, it is only expected that you will be deployed to God knows where, and that thing should have been considered before adopting pets in the first place.

      Even if she didn’t want to have a kid before and decided she wants to have a kid now, it doesn’t make it okay. It’s not like the baby is having some life-threatening God knows what kind of allergy to the dogs. Even her worry about the dog snapping is just an excuse. First of all, the new family member should be introduced to the pets properly. Second, no parent should leave their kids with the dogs unattended. If something happens, it is not the dog’s fault.

      Babies sleep all the time. There will always be a window of opportunity to bring the dogs out. She can bring the baby out together with the dogs. She can hire someone to walk the dogs. Heck she can set up an indoor toilet inside so the dogs can do their thing whenever they have to. There must always be a way.

      I salute those who choose to rehome their dogs for all the good reasons, and took the time and effort to find a loving home for them. What I cannot tolerate is those people who give up their pets at the first sign of inconvenience, arguing that they are just animals anyway. It’s never about prioritizing animals over humans. The thing here is taking responsibility for the commitments you make.

      • Things aren’t often as easy as they sound. I have allergies and I can tell you that even after 8 years of allergy shots AND taking allergy medicine daily I am still so congested it is like having a cold everyday — and I have an additional medication to take when the fluid in my ears builds up so badly it causes pain! But cats aren’t the problem in that case.

        My story: 4-1/2 years ago my daughter’s cat had to be put to sleep due to liver failure, right before my daughter was due to move into her own home. I didn’t intend to get another cat, but my cat moped around for months, searching for his feline friend, and then after 6 months he started trying to get out of the house every time I opened the door. He’d ALWAYS lived in a 2-cat household, so I did my research and got an opposite sex cat, a couple years younger.

        I brought her home, isolated her, did slow introductions, etc. From the beginning the new cat had issues, but old cat seemed to like having her around. Always before, a new cat in the house would hide for a day or so, scoping things out. THIS female cat wanted to be QUEEN from day one! She wanted to rule the food and water dishes and litter boxes. It didn’t matter that there were multiple bowls and boxes. Fortunately my older cat was mellow and unafraid. New cat would attack, so old cat would sit under a chair and observe. He was clearly entertained rather than afraid. I tried going back to the introductions stage, but isolating new cat seemed to increase her aggression. I read everything I could find and nothing worked. Slowly things calmed down, but it was a whole year before new cat seemed to accept old cat.

        We had about 6 months of peace, then old cat started peeing on the sofa. After vet visits and a new sofa I discovered that new cat was stalking old cat at the litter box. I had 5 litter boxes in various locations, but she would sit outside whatever room he chose and wait for him! I now have a slip-covered sofa and the entire thing has been washed MANY times.

        That “incident” lasted about 3 months. Since then we have had a pattern of a couple months of peace followed by a couple of weeks of trouble of one sort or another between the two cats. She has an aggressive personality, and fortunately he is mellow. Everyone has told me to get rid of her, but I kept trying to fix things.

        Eleven months ago new problems started. The vet said it’s behavioral, and gave me some Ovaban to try to decrease her aggression. It didn’t help. Neither did Feliway, and I tried both kinds for months. The problem seems to be that she IS aggressive, and now and then HE gets tired of putting up with it. She will swat at him or attempt to intimidate him in some way to get what he has, and if he doesn’t give it up she resorts to hissing and growling and hiding under a chair. Most times HE STILL ignores her, but the end result is that she has sprayed ALL OVER MY HOUSE! I have been doing everything possible for eleven months and she is still spraying!

        Everything I try works briefly. We have 3-5 days of peace between fights sometimes. Sometimes fights happen daily. Isolating her still increases her aggression, so she gets “time-out” in her carrier where she can still see him. I finally reached the point of reaching out to friends, family, and neighbors to find her a new home. No one will take her. When I adopted her she was 3 years old and had been in the shelter 4 months; now she is over 7 years old. I don’t want to give up but I don’t know what else to do! I even considered letting her be an outdoor cat, since she has always been eager to dart out the door. When she has done that I’ve always brought her right back in, but the last two times I left her out all day and she doesn’t like it — and I worry she’ll be hurt or killed.

        At this point we are all unhappy with the situation. Please don’t offer suggestions on how to fix this. I have sought help and read everything I could find and I’ve tried it all. The problem just changes. She’s still here because we still have good days. Right now both cats are sitting on the sofa with me, but I have stinky spots in the house where I haven’t been able to get her spray cleaned out and it’s making me crazy. I spent hours on the floor in the dark with a black light and enzyme cleaner and the next morning she sprayed again! Now she has to spend the night separated from old cat, but it has increased her morning aggression. They don’t avoid one another, and the house isn’t big enough to make it practical to keep them separated — which would only escalate things when she sneaks out anyway. She needs to be the only cat, probably the only pet, in a good home. She uses the litter box and her scratching post and isn’t destructive except for the spraying. She loves human attention, but she doesn’t want to share — anything! She wants every food dish, litter box, toy, and empty cardboard box.

        Bottom line — PEOPLE should not jump to conclusions about people who give up! I am so close to being there myself, I totally get it! If I still had little kids at home I probably would have thrown in the towel already — and cried over it for days. New cat doesn’t deserve to die, or spend her life in a cage, but I don’t want to have my life revolve around her attitude problem either. And I don’t want my house to stink! There are so many younger cats needing homes, her chance of being adopted again are slim, and so I keep struggling with her. I have given up though. I don’t believe things will change. If someone offered to take her I’d give her up in a heartbeat, but I’d still cry and wonder if I could have done something else.

        I’m not denying that some people give up pets without a second thought, but we don’t really know who is struggling and who isn’t, so we shouldn’t judge. Some people simply can’t handle the stress. I’m old enough to know that life looks different from different places. Right now I am dealing with a less than perfect situation, but there may come a day when I simply can’t do it any more. I already feel like I shouldn’t have to live like this — I just can’t face the alternatives.

        • July1955, I completely understand where you are coming from. I am having similar issues with my two dogs at home. Except it’s my older dog that has the aggression problem. She’s a puggle and sweetest thing ever, except to other dogs. We had her for a little over a year and decided to get a whippet mix puppy. Our puggle immediately freaked out. We did introductions slowly, never forcing them to spend time together, had separate toys, beds, dishes, but it didn’t matter. If the puppy played with her toy, the puggle attacked her and took the toy. We trained her, or tried to, and things started to calm down.

          We recently moved in with my father in law, and the change in environment seemed to set off our puggle again. They got into a daily fights, we took her to the vet and they gave her anti-anxiety meds, but it didn’t work. She just kept attacking our whippet as soon as she saw her.

          So now, they have to be separated at all times, no exceptions. It’s dangerous for them to interact. My husband and I both have bitten numerous times trying to break them up. I love both my dogs, but clearly the situation isn’t working. Our puggle isn’t happy in our home, constantly on edge. So we made the decision to rehome her after consulting with a behaviorist and our vet.

          People who act like there’s no excuse to rehome their pet makes me really angry. In our situation there is no winning, if we keep the puggle, she will continue to be unhappy and our whippet will continue to be attacked, because mistakes happen. So do I actively choose to keep both my pets miserable for the sake of making myself not look bad? In my opinion, that’s irresponsible and cruel. My puggle has a capability of being a great companion, in a home that can make her happy. And that is not my home.

          I understand your fear. But you also have to think about the other cat’s wellbeing. My heart goes out to you, and please know that despite many people who might try to make you feel badly for rehoming your cat, there are others who really understand. Best of luck.

  8. We had to give up our dog and it was pretty devastating to the whole family. My uncle took her and I am so greatfull. She has a great home and is very much loved. We moved to the United Kingdom and had to leave our dog. I never would have gotten her if I known that I was going to have to leave her. The rules for bringing dogs to the UK has changed since we go here and I see families now bringing their pets and it breaks my heart I gave up mine. I just pet sit right now, but when the time is right I hope to get another dog (my husband retires).

  9. I get that you can always control where you PCS to or what houses will be available. We ended up at a place without a fence, so we ended up buying an electric fence for our dog. It worked fantastic for him and I could let him outside to run and do his business without worrying that he would run away.

  10. NO

    How about this, put the baby in a pram or whatever Americans call it and go walk the dogs that love and rely on you and take your baby with you…. would you leave your baby the same way unable to regularly toilet, shown no affection?

    Here have a medal you looked after them for 6 years well, doesn’t mean you get to be a cr@p owner now…. . Please don’t get anymore animals.

    • A pet is an animal. A baby is a human. Seriously, please get some perspective here and don’t be so hateful and judgemental.

      • What does it matter that a pet is an animal and a baby is a human? Put the baby in a stroller. Put the baby in one of those baby backpacks. Fencing. Dog runs. If you take the baby with you to do everything else, you can take it with you to walk the dogs. Seriously, please get some perspective here and don’t be so careless and lazy.

    • Omg yes. Dogs ive had for 5 years now stare sadly at me because if baby. Baby now tugs and grabs and pulls at dogs . They get walked aroundhe yard. Leaserehome your dogs they sound liketheir being treated like shit.

  11. Honestly, I am going to judge you. This is a terrible article. How dare you adopt two dogs, then completely mistreat and abandon them because you had a child. Seriously, you couldn’t put the baby in a stroller and walk the dogs? So lazy. How would you like to be left in a house all day with no toilet. And putting your dog on Craigslist – OMG – you obviously don’t care that they’ll end up as bait dogs in a fight ring. You are everything that is wrong with lazy, shitty, selfish dog owners who are irresponsible and never should have gotten a pet. You give the rest of us military families who love and responsibly care for our dogs and cats FOR LIFE a bad name. You need to grow up and realize what you are doing to two innocent dogs who rely on you for their care. This is the most disgusting article I have read in a long time. Look at some of the other responsible commenters: one lady chose a great home for her cat who loved being outdoors, and took her to a barn. Another lady gave her dog to her uncle who she knew would care for him well because animal quarantine laws were so difficult in the UK. I just cannot believe you are writing this crap. You should be ashamed of yourself. I usually never write comments, much less ones like this, but what you were writing was so wrong and cruel and irresponsible that I couldn’t not write anything. Please do not get any more pets in the future. God knows what will happen to them.

  12. Please…all these people judging everyone else need to take a look at themselves.

    You’re not in the shoes of that person/family who are giving up a pet so you can’t judge them. You don’t know them or their situation.

    I love my cat dearly but that’s what he is, a cat. If the time came where I had to get rid of him, it would be devastating but I’d do it.

  13. Prioritizing pets over children because they were there first? So if your dog attacked your child, your pet is in the right and deserves priority because he was there first?

    You people are what’s wrong in the world. Pets =/= people. If you dont believe that, please for the love of God, go make friends with a wolf.

    • No, pets are not people. They are better than people most of the time. They unconditionally love, I can’t say that about most humans.

  14. Such a disappointing article! Can anyone just write any sort of article and post it? My goodness this is ridiculous! You SHoULD feel guilty!!!

  15. Please look into Dogs on Deployment (not just dogs) for fostering! Never do free on Craig’s list! That’s just asking for a death sentence. Find a rescue, most breeds have them.

  16. A month ago, a year ago, I would never have dreamed of rehoming any of my fur babies. We have 4 large dogs & I am due to have my first baby in 5 weeks, we rent & have to lie about how many dogs we have, we have spent a loooottt of money stopping escape-attempts, I drag my butt out of bed at 5am every day to walk them (even at my tremendous size), so I would have thought that nothing, absolutely nothing could make me rehome any of my girls.
    Elly was my first baby; a staffy I got as a puppy 8 years ago, she was the only ‘child’ for 5 years & was spoiled rotten. Then, one day, my ex-partner showed up at home with 2 new puppies, no warning, no anything. When he dumped me a little while later I was left with 3 dogs who were my life. It meant I had to rent a 3 bedroom house on my own so the girls had a yard, I was often too broke to feed myself, but always fed them; the & my life revolved around them. All was fine, until my current partner & his dog came along.
    For 2 years all was fine, then a year ago the girls started fighting. My partner’s dog was injured twice, so we got in a trainer, started exercising them more (an hour at a time, twice a day), brought in crates, supervised like crazy, etc. Then 2 of my own dogs, my older staffy & younger rotti, began to fight. We thought it was dealable, but then on NYE a fight broke out while I was home alone with my partner’s 2 young daughters. Even at 33 weeks pregnant my only instinct was to jump in & stop the fight, & in doing so I had the end of my right index finger bitten off. It was accidental of course, but quite shocking in the ease at which it happened. Since then my rotti & staffy can’t even look at each other without getting aggressive.
    After surgery to have the finger re-attached I was then faced with the reality of the situation. My elderly staffy, I believe, has not been happy for some time. After the other girls came along she started having severe separation anxiety, escaping regularly, licking compulsively, etc. She went from having 100% of my attention 100% of the time, to having 3 sisters who are all bigger & bouncier than she is. While she has not ever initiated a fight, unfortunately she is the one who jumps in with gusto & does the most damage, including biting off my finger. Because 2 of my other dogs are large & quite intimidating, one with severe health issues (stemming from neglect before she came to me) & the other has some behavioural issues, I believe that Elly, my staffy, has the best hope of being rehomed.
    So she is now on a waiting list to go to an adoption centre run by a married couple. They are guaranteed no kill, will care for Elly until she gets another home, will keep me advised of her progress & will pass on my details to her new owners in the hopes they will keep in touch with me.
    Still, I have cried every single damn day since putting her on the waiting list, imagining leaving her behind, imagining her distress & confusion, imagining not seeing her every day. This is the worst thing I have ever done in my life, & the hardest, something I would never have imagined doing, never in a million years. But, we are clearly out of our depth & I don’t believe Elly is truly happy, & this is the only decision I can think of.
    I too used to be very judgmental about a pet being for life (& still am to an extent- it has to be a pretty damned good reason for rehoming), but now suddenly I am one of the jerks I have always judged so harshly. It has been a sobering, & awful decision.
    I will enjoy the last few weeks I have with my Ell-Bell & make them as wonderful & stress-free as possible, & pray that whoever she ends up with, she will be a million times happier than she ever has been with me.

  17. What a witch lol… Your whole article is so bitchy and ridiculous… Wow please never ever get a pet ever and for God’s sake never teach your kids your nasty ideals…..

    Of course an animal is not a person but for FREE ON CRAIGSLIST??? I’m sure your dog already had his teeth filed down to nubs and is tied to a tree right now being used as bait. So unbelievably fucked up.

    hope your husband sees how gross he is too lol

    Maybe you could use a little guilt and humility.

    Food for thought.

    • Word! This article is disgusting! My oldest dog is 13, he has been through more moves, houses, deployments, and all four of our babies with me! I am terrified of the day I don’t see his sweet face, or hear his big paws following me around the house. He has seen me at my worst and best, and is still by my side. We had rough times with him, and I would do it all again in a heart beat!

  18. Just a bit of an update on my reply above: I couldn’t do it. After 2 weeks of crying & vacillating, my partner & I instead decided to bring in the big guns & have hired a dog behaviourist with 17 years experience in dog training. It is costing us a bomb & we have had to get out a small personal loan to cover the cost, but so far it seems to be working (hooray).

  19. We aren’t talking about animal cruelty and abuse. We are talking about putting the health and well being of our children, ourselves and our fellow human beings ahead of that of an animal as it very well should be. Taking meds(like allegra) that have serious side effects to your health(LIVER DAMAGE, vomiting, back pain, body aches or pain, chills, coughing, diarrhea, difficulty with moving, dizziness, ear congestion, earache,fever, headache, joint pain, loss of voice, muscle aching or cramping, muscle pains or stiffness, nasal congestion, nausea, pain in arms or legs, pain or tenderness around eyes or cheekbones painful menstrual bleeding, redness or swelling in ear, ringing or buzzing in ears, runny or stuffy nose sleepiness or unusual drowsiness, sneezing sore throat, stomach upset, swollen joints
    unusual feeling of tiredness or weakness
    viral infection (such as cold and flu), Nervousness, rash, sleeplessness, TERRIFYING DREAMS, INSOMNIA, trouble sleeping) is just stupid when the source of your allergy(the Pet) can be removed. Allergy meds were meant for short term use (like for a season) not continual life long use. Human organs can’t handle such continuous stress and overload. Many times, people don’t even know they have allergies until after they have begun to live with their pet. They immediately buy filters, air purifiers, vacuums for hundreds of dollars, pull up carpet and countless other things but only and idiot would destroy their very health to keep a dog. If you’ve tried your best as most people have and are still suffering, deteriorating or in danger because of a pet, it is not only your right but your responsibility to remove it from your home . Doing this is as much for the animal as it is for you. By the point one has decided to give up a pet, the pet has probably spent too much time in a crate or isolation in another room with limited contact with his humans etc. This is no way for either a pet or a human to live and it defeats the purpose of even having a pet. No one is talking about leaving a pet on the side of the road or bashing it’s head in so some of you need to stop all the exaggeration and the mean spirited responses while simultaneously claiming to be such a caring person. Rehoming a pet or finding an agency who does are perfectly acceptable options.

  20. I am completely devastated right now by the fact that I have to re-home one of my two cats. My male cat has taken to attacking his sister, to the point where he is drawing blood. It was a case of what is called redirected aggression. I’ve tried behavioral therapy, medication, and pheromone diffusers throughout the house. Nothing has worked. I tried to reintroduce them slowly, and it was an absolute nightmare. I have them both separated, and don’t believe they will ever bond again. I have spoken with the rescue group from whom I adopted them, and they will gladly take him back. I just can’t let him go. My heart is broken, and I don’t know how I will ever be able to watch him leave the home he has lived in for the past 5 years.

  21. Tomorrow, I have to give away my aunt’s 4 cat to someone I don’t know. According to my aunt, she said she was happy to give the cats say to a loving family despite not having that someone’s number or information. All they said “Give as many as you like.” I don’t feel good just simply giving them to someone I don’t know…My aunt leaving to somewhere where pets isn’t allow, my dad completely hates cat and won’t let them in the house. I talk to my aunt about this matter but she still stick her belief, my aunt can’t afford to think too much as she had a mental sickness problem. My dad may not cooperate either. No one can help me and I don’t have an animal shelter at where I live…….How can I not feel guilty about that?

    And those who keeps bashing other people because of this, well just stop because you’re not in their places, you obviously never experience this before.

  22. Guys, seriously? Animals are animals and kids are people. People are more important. Stop judging parents for putting their kids health first. All any creatures want is to be loved and cared for. Animals that are rehomed to good homes will get just that. Don’t forget that most people love their pets very much and it’s not like they enjoy having to make he difficult decision of rehoming their pet. There are a lot of people on high horses in this comment section.

  23. HumanLivesMatter

    It is absolutely ludicrous that people think the lives of animals are more important than the lives of humans. A child’s safety and over all well being and full attention is more important than any dog or cat or any other animal. Pets are more than often not that attached to their owner. Give a dog or cat a treat and some food and love and they will love anyone. I have only seen very few pets that were loyal to their owners and didn’t do well with other people around.
    It is also absurd for anyone to think that rehoming a pet is the same as rehoming a child. Are you all brainwashed? A child and an animal are not the same people. Everyone has seem to forgotten that dogs and cats are animals, animals that used to be free roaming which we have domesticated that in other countries still roam the streets. We domesticate them, put clothes on them, and try to humanize them.
    It is always in the pet’s best interest to be rehomed if the old family can no longer afford to take care of a pet or can no longer dedicate the time or has an illness. How dare anyone think that a person should put a pet first or just keep the pet and not give it the full love and attention it used to receive.
    If the owner finds a new family or puts the pet in a no-kill shelter then really what is the problem? It is the best thing more often than not.
    At the end of the day a dog or cat will probably eat you if you die alone…don’t think your kid would do that…not the same thing. Stop putting animals above human life.

    • LOL that last part though! I completely agree with all of this.

    • Humans would do the same. There’s tons of cases of people eating other humans to survive in dire circumstances. That last comment is completely wrong.

    • Christian Noble

      I totally agree with you!

      If you’re child is allergic to the dog and you’re solution is allergy medication. You’re a borderline LOON!

  24. I had to go back to work, for several reasons. This was not my intent when I got a 4 month old shi tuz.
    She is now a year old and she spends 10 hours a day by herself. When I get home Im so tired I just want to go to bed. I feel so guilty everyday when I leave the house. We know someone that is willing to take her in she also has a shi tuz and a cat. I promised her she could have the dog, but its breaking my heart. I feel so selfish, I don’t want her to go but, is it fair to keep her.

  25. Anyone who has made the difficult decision to re-home your pet, is there anything that you have done or would do to honor the memory and time you had with them, especially if you don’t know what home or family they went to?

  26. Relinquishing an animal IS a really f*ed up thing to do, and I refuse to sugar coat this or go out of my way to sound nonjudgmental. One of my awesome dogs that I adopted was an angel that had been relinquished by its owner–the owner couldn’t spend enough time with her and fed het crappy food–in other words, a REALLY crappy candidate for a pet owner! Am I glad that I adopted her? Absolutely, BUT this person should have thought ahead before adopting a dog that they couldn’t take of–that is the decent thing to do. Dogs bond with humans quickly and easily, and it is very psychologically traumatizing for them to be relinquished.

    There is a quote I like about humans learning loyalty from dogs–that just about covers it. Some of you obviously haven’t learned that yet.

    • Life happens, Jan. I was hit by a car that ran a red light. I suffered back and neck issues from the accident, and walking the dog hindered my recovery and made symptoms worse. Once I developed tinnitus (ringing in the ears, which made me suicidal for a short while: tinnitustalk.com) from the condition, I decided that the dog needed to be re-homed.

      She is big, wild, and we tried various ways of training her and used a behaviorist — spent over $3500, but that was besides the point for us. She would run quickly for squirrels and towards other dogs (wanting to play) We adopted her at age 5, so we didn’t have her trained up like our previous dogs (who lived long lives with us). I am 57, and my husband and I have raised 3 dogs prior to her. Without a fenced in yard and doggy daycare not being an option to expend her energy, and not wanting my tinnitus from the nerve damage in my neck to get worse from walking her (quick chasing and jumping on leash), we were without options. Though she was a sweet pup and we were bonded, my health took priority. I have no doubt it was the right decision, and I am certain she has bonded well to the new owners as well. I still cried having to give her up.

      …until you walk in the other person’s shoes, you never really know what they are dealing with.

      Bless all,

      Mary

  27. My mother rehomed her cats when she went on hospice care. She fortunately had a wonderful caregiver who has several cats and was willing to take them in. This gave her such peace and comfort during her last weeks. But these young people who don’t have a clue what a huge responsibility and expense having a pet can be, just haven’t done their homework! If you can’t put in the time, if you’re not home a lot, if you’re not patient, if you can’t provide the time, love and attention they need, especially when they are puppies, then by gosh you should NOT get a pet. I’m sick of sick of seeing this everyday these people who have mistakingly gotten a cute little puppy who has grown into a dog that is no longer cute and demands attention. If you can’t commit don’t get a pet. That’s how I feel about this sad conversation.

    • Mom2threeplusdog

      You have oversimplified a far more complicated situation that “these young people” find themselves in.
      Most of us know, when we take in a pet, that they will require a ton of work, care, and money. Most of us deeply love our pets and care about every aspect of their well-being. The unknown, for us, is just how much life changes after a baby, and how the responsibilities of also having a pet weigh on you. People tell you, but you don’t understand it until you experience it. It’s not a matter of deciding the puppy/kitten is no longer cute, or that we’ve replaced it with another cute thing (baby) and no longer need the pet around. For many of us, it’s an exhausting, frustrating, depressing, guilt-ridden experience to even have thoughts of giving up your beloved animal, let alone ultimately deciding it would be the right decision for both family and the animal(s).
      All I will say is that I was once like you. Saddened and disgusted that someone would give up a pet just because a baby came into the picture. My dog was my life! Now that I have 3 young children (previously thought I would have NONE!), the tables have turned. I do not plan to give up my dog, but certainly have fantasized about it. He is a senior dog now with only a few years left…all I can say is, when he passes, there will be a heaviness in my heart, but also a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.
      Also, your mom didn’t know she would grow old/sick and no longer be able to care for her cats? Shame! Shame on her! (Those aren’t my true sentiments, but you see how your thinking is flawed now?)

  28. YOU made the decision to have a child. You had to know that things would change once the child was born. You could have made out some plan for someone to walk the dogs or find a similar solution. As far as the fear of your dog MAYBE biting your child, there are steps that should have been taken back when you first got your dog. I’ve had many ‘aggressive’ breeds and a two year old and never had a problem.
    And don’t say you don’t make enough, because my husband is also in the military and he definitely is far from being ‘at the top’. Oh, and you didn’t know that the MILITARY would send you across country? BS. My husband and I have brought our two dogs to every base we PCS’d too. And honestly, less people would be upset if you didn’t come off as such a snarky person as if it was no big deal to list your dogs ON CRAIGSLIST.

  29. Some of these comments are truly poisonous and not constructive in any way, and some are downright RUDE.
    Re-homing a mismatched dog can be the most selfless and best thing for the dog and the person when done with compassion and consideration. Of course there are jackasses out there whom carelessly get a dog and carelessly throw it way but that DOES NOT reflect every person who re-homes. A rational person with common sense does not judge everyone based on the actions of one demographic.

    It is careless, selfish and not fair to the dog to keep them when it does not fit the family, or life changes and circumstances aren’t the best for a dog (space to run, time for the dog, having children etc) YOU CANNOT PLAN EVERY ASPECT OF LIFE, do not attack people for caring enough about their dog AND family that they have the guts enough to make such a heart breaking decision. It’s better than a dog getting stuck inside all day, or risk children being bit.

  30. This series includes a lot of things that you can do to make your move smoother. If you’ve not moved before, don’t let this list scare you. You don’t have to do them all! Pick and choose the ideas that seem like they’ll hope you the most. When it comes right down to it, there is only so much of your move than you can control. https://www.petlove.love/

  31. My $13,000 Cat Story

    I have had my cats for 12 years. I never could have know what I was getting into with these 2 darling little creatures when my husband and I initially rescued the kittens from the vet. We got 2 so they would keep each other company when we worked and traveled. When we traveled for work – we tag teamed on care for the cats. On vacations we got a sitter. All good.
    3 years later came a separation and then divorce. I took the cats.

    With no one home to care for the cats while I traveled for work, I paid a cat sitter to care for them. My job involved lots of travel. My cat sitter cost $15/day every 2nd day and my business trips generally lasted for 2 weeks at a time. Sometimes more – sometimes less. Probably 30 trips in 4 years. That worked out to roughly $3150 in cat sit costs. ($15 x 7 days x 30 trips)
    Add in, that during those 4 years, cat food cost about $40 per month and litter about $20. $60 x 48 mos = $2880.00
    Vaccinations and check-ups each year $200 x 4 = $800.00 for the 4 years.
    Flea treatment 2 times a year $30 x 2/yr x 4 years $240.00
    Several unplanned trips to vet for medicine for one sick cat $300.00. (ate lizard – maybe both times)
    Add $500.00 (yes) and 6 weeks (yes) it took to rid the entire large house of fleas when I had a major infestation. Don’t get carpets!!(These are inside cats..(except for garage – lanai)
    Then another $150.00 when one scratched the other near the eye and it got infected.
    Thus far we are looking at $8200.00 roughly in cat expenses over 4 years.
    Then 5 years ago I retired.
    – Kitty food and litter for 60 months since retiring – $3600.00
    Vets and needles – $250.00
    Took 3 lengthy post – retirement trips.
    1 trip was 60 days and the other 2 were for 30 days each..
    Cost for kitty care (every second day) $15/day times x 60 days = $900.00.
    Add it up – $8200+$3600 +$250 +$900 = $12,950.00
    Yes – total cost for 2 cats in past 9 years approximately $12,950.00!!
    Just shy of $13,000!!

    Think about this when you are contemplating a pet. Then consider this additional info.
    I promised my son years ago when I moved from our home state of Oregon to the Keys in Florida, that when I retired I would come back for the summers and spend time with him and his family. This of course was a personal choice.
    – Bought new larger vehicle to accommodate carrying the cats in cages with me when I drove 4 days each way to Oregon.
    – Very tricky traveling in car in the heat in the summer with pets.
    – My personal and food breaks are fast. (Find shade – leave sun roof open) – when really hot – leave car running with a/c.
    – Can’t take cats into hotel room – some places allow no pets.
    – Others hotels charge $20 per pet – per night. So I find cool quiet place to park and leave cats after dark in car. Then get up early next day – choke down breakfast and get to the cats before it gets hot.
    – In October on the return trip I have to worry for part of the trip about them getting cold.
    – What of kitty litter duties and food? Tricky and all part of the journey.
    – In Oregon, can’t stay with son, not enough room. They have 2 cats and a dog – no way they could handle 4 cats, 1 dog and me for 4 months!!
    Can’t rent a furnished place – short term – no one wants 2 cats in their short term furnished rental! No one. Instead – bought a townhouse to accommodate me and cats. Call it a wash with rental costs and townhouse purchase, but what a bloody pain in the butt.
    Add to this.
    I am looking at the prospect of 25 more years of retirement. Holy Crap!! Need to go back to work and make some more cash!! I want to go to Spain to school for a year to get an upgrade in my professional qualifications. This should land me a new job. Cost of one year tuition for school in Spain $10,000 vs $30,000 + here in the USA. And wouldn’t it be a delight to study abroad? How can I go to Spain with 2 cats!! Good grief!! Here we go again!!! Buyers beware.!!

  32. Josephine Barrington

    If you would dispose of a pet because of inconvenience, you don’t deserve to have an animal. A pet is not a person, true. This in no way negates the responsibilities you’ve taken on. Adopting an animal is a life-long commitment, not a promise to be broken when you face difficulties. There are almost always solutions to problems like those mentioned in the article. And yes, I have children and pets.

    1. A fenced yard is a convenience, not a necessity. To start, you might talk to the landlord, as they could be amenable to you constructing a fence (at your own expense, of course). Otherwise, consider a pre-fabricated dog run or outdoor play area – they’re sold on Amazon. You can even build your own if you’re handy with tools, or contact a local building trades school and ask if they might do a cheap project for you. At the very least, a stout tie-out with a dog house or lean to would allow all but the wildest dogs to be out for an hour or two, certainly long enough to do their business and get a change of scenery.

    2. The suggestion that you’d need to leave your baby unattended inside to walk the dogs is ridiculous. Unless the child is extremely ill or the weather unbearable, bundle up the baby and tuck them in a bjorn, or push them in a pram while you walk the dogs (one at a time if they get rowdy). Children do well with fresh air and sunshine even in brisk weather, and many are lulled to sleep by gentle motions like a stroller.

    3. As you undoubtedly know other families in your same situation, why not arrange some swaps to make life easier for everyone? Many parents trade babysitting duties with friends and neighbours. You could work something like this out to give you time to catch up on responsibilities, including spending some time with your pets. You might also be able to work out an exchange of pet care duties.

    4. Hired help can be found quite cheaply if you’re willing to employ older children and teenagers. The children of friends or neighbours might be happy to walk the dogs for you free of charge, or for a bit of pocket money. Younger teens eager to train work as mother’s helpers for very small wages, much less than you’d pay an adult, let alone a trained nanny. Older teens make good babysitters if your child does not have special needs beyond their scope. If you have the money for it, there are also professional dog walkers, doggy day cares, et that will amuse the dogs for a while.

    5. Genuine concerns about your dog’s attitude toward the child should be addressed promptly, but not by sending it away. No one wants to adopt an adult dog with a history of intimidating children. Fortunately, you can train the dog. If obedience schools are too expensive, look online. Buy a clicker and a bag of treats. Speak to your vet. There are also such things as pet gates, baby gates and even half-doors that can be used to restrict the dog’s access to your child. You can also teach your child how to interact with animals so they do not inadvertently hurt the animals.

    Giving up on a pet should not be considered an option unless there is a life or death situation. With some shuffling and accommodation, and maybe giving up some other things, you can make it work.

  33. I’m absolutely heartbroken at having to rehome my cat, I’ve had him since I was twelve, we got him when my parents divorced. Dumbledore is my best friend and has been there through everything, the parent I chose to live with was chronically unemployed and when I turned 16 I quit school because we needed the money from me working. When I was 18 I got a well paying job in central London, and living 3 hours away the commute was too much, I was constantly exhausted between commuting, working and looking after my parent.
    I eventually chose to move to London age 20 and the flat share I moved into didn’t allow cats (trust me, I tried to find one).
    A couple of months after I moved out my parent could no longer afford the rent (don’t guilt me, I feel bad enough) and needed to move back in with family. They couldn’t take my wonderful cat, so I asked all my trusted friends and family etc. Eventually my nana agreed to look after him while I lived in London (I paid her monthly).
    Meanwhile my other parent was going through their second divorce and moving region, becoming a single parent to two under 4’s. My nana eventually decided she needed to move to help them out, and was going to be unable to take dumbledore across the country with her.
    I was left between a rock and a hard place, I love dumbledore with everything I have and would do anything to be able to have him live with me, but I don’t earn enough to commute 3 hours and pay for housing that allows pets, I wish I did.
    So think twice about how undeserving people needing to rehome their pets to a loving home.

  34. I’m glad I’m not alone! I just arranged for my cat to be rehomed and he will be taken away next weekend. I’d felt the separation anxiety kicked in as soon as I got news that a potential adopter was found!

    I’ve had him since he was two months old and he has been my companion since, played and slept with me. His purrs calm me on days when I come home stress from work.

    It was hard to make this decision but at the rate my company is going, not being able to pay us promptly and slashing our salary as cost cutting measures, I have to give him up to someone else who can afford and willing to take him in while I get myself a new job and cut my expenses. He was my everything when I had enough to cover us. he was vaccinated and sterilised. I carried out my responsibilities and provide for him for as much as I can.

    Right now, I’m just glad I found a family who’ve had cats and I trust my boy will be in good hands.

  35. My ex husband wanted a dog, I did not, I’m a chronically ill person. So, on the understanding that he would feed, walk and generally take care of the dog, we got one. Everything was fine.

    Now, three years later, he can’t take the dog with him in the divorce.

    I’ve obviously formed a bond with this dog and I thought I could handle him by myself. But, this dog is so high energy and I’m so sick and in pain, I just don’t have the health to take him for a walk everyday. Let alone the two walks a day my ex did.

    He’s starting to develop some really bad habits that he never had before. Like, barking in the middle of the night, digging up the yard and his anxiety is getting worse. Not to mention my health is getting worse.
    Before, I could kind of keep up with cleaning of the pet hair. But, without any help, now I’m surrounded by pet dander. I’m already on literally thousands of dollars worth of allergy medication, so you can fuck off with your judgment on that point.

    I’m thinking of calling the vet about maybe putting him on anti anxiety meds, but doesn’t that seem mean in it’s own sense? The dog does pretty good of he gets the exercise he needs. Now, I’m going to medicate him for my needs?

    And, not sure if you’re able to put this together, but a chronically sick person usually doesn’t have a lot of money in the bank. I’m already paying more than I can afford for the dog, now I’m going to pay for dog meds too?

    Which also means I can’t afford the hundreds for additional training (he’s had puppy classes). And yes, I’ve tried watching the YouTube videos and doing it myself… it’s working great /sarcasm.

    Fuck you holy than thou people. This is my ex’s dog, if anyone abandoned the dog, its him. I love the dog, but I can’t help my being chronically ill. I’m trying everything I can think of and am at the end of my wits. The dog isn’t fucking happy either by the way!

    So, I should keep the dog and continue both of our suffering just out of principle??? That sounds ignorant.

    Obviously, I’m not going to just dump him. I love this dog and only want what’s best for him, and me, Because my health is important too! I wish beyond all stars a friend or family member would be a good fit, but I don’t think it’s in the cards.

    My thoughts are to talk to my local no-kill (obviously) shelter for some advice where I could start in my area. He’s a Doberman Shepard mix, so maybe a breed specific group could help?

    After that, I imagine listing him and vetting countless applicants.

    Other than bashing, because I’m sure that’s all some of you pea brained simpletons will be able to come up with, does anyone have any constructive advice?

    • Derrik Schrambling

      The thread posters idea is right on point we treat them like family.So in like we love them enough to get them into another loving home if we cant keep em forever as we planned.Craigslist can be helpful but so can asking family and friends and co workers neighbors etc if theyd like to give your dog or cat or whatever another loving home.Be blessed yall

  36. This is heartbreakng to read. Of course I’m in a situation myself where one of my cats has violently started attacking the other. We’re trying everything. The idea of sending him out of our home is so incredibly painful. I can’t decide what is more selfish: keeping one cat in constant fear of being attacked and hurt because I don’t want to put myself through the pain of losing the aggressor….or finding a new home for my dear boy who I’ve had since he was a kitten, just because home life has become so miserable. It is hard.

    I know this much: I could never give him away to people I don’t know, who I can’t check up on, who I don’t trust deeply. People like that are very hard to come by, and I may never find them.

    • You sound like a caring pet owner.Sometimes cats get territorial I’m assuming all are fixed.Maybe move the suddenly aggressive cat to another part of house away from other cats.Many cats don’t like other cats.Dogs can be like that too.If there’s no medical reason I’d separate them.I have personal pets and fosters they’re like teenagers but glad know you would look another way without giveaway.Cats usually behave weirdly if medical issue but as you know in a multi pet scenario Cats live life on their terms

  37. Oh my god! Wow! So many saints found right here in the comments section! People who are always perfect and right and never make mistakes! People whose lives never change! So MANY saints!

    Please, judgers, when you have a life free from hardship, pain, difficult choices, mistakes, heartbreak, things that ‘just dont work out’, or whatever, then spare the rest of us who don’t care to hear your tongue wag to judge and chastise others. Until you wear a halo, no one wants to hear your crap.

  38. I read this article because I recently adopted a cat from a nonprofit organisation, and I don’t know if I’ll keep him.

    I’ve had him one week so far and it has been one of the worst weeks of my life – turns out I’m allergic to him, that none of the allergy meds I’ve tried work, and that it’s impossible to keep up with a lively 10 months old kitty when you can’t sleep because your skin, eyes and throat burn are on fire (all while working to support yourself and the cat, of course).

    I didn’t know this would happen. I’ve always lived with cats and had no reason to suspect I could be allergic to one. When I got the cat, I did consider it to be a commitment, I knew cats can live up to 20 years, and I was aware of the kind of care they need. I was prepared to change many aspects of my lifestyle if needed, I was financially ready, and I was prepared to give the cat plenty of attention and playtime and enrichment and all that. I also knew that likely at first there would be an awkward adaptation period.

    I wasn’t however prepared to give up sleep, basic quality of life and uh, breathing. Maybe I could make this work with an extremely daunting cleaning regimen and massive money investments, but yeah. It’s been one week and I think that with all the cats out there, there may be one I could care for that doesn’t make me massively ill. It just seems like a terrible fit.

    The nonprofit I got the cat from made me sign an adoption contract stipulating I have to surrender the cat to them if ever I can’t take care of him anymore one day. They would place him in a foster family until he finds a new home (often the foster families end up adopting the cats, too). Adopters and foster families are all selected to be good folks who care about animals and their wellbeing.

    But, I feel guilty, yeah. I feel like a failure for not being able to cope with the allergies when I know some people who somehow do. I’m sad that I might have to let the pet go – I like him a lot, even if he makes me feel like I’m dying.

    So, my point here is, I guess:

    Sometimes stuff you don’t expect happens and you have to make difficult choices. Sometimes keeping a pet is not the best choice for you or the animal. I think we should extend to each other and ourselves the same compassion we have for the animals. We want them to be happy, healthy and well cared-for. We should want that for ourselves too and search for the situation where all the creatures present – humans included – can live good full lives.

    • My partner broke up with me,but with the help of ___dr.mack201@gmail. com my partner came back

    • Christian Noble

      If the pet doesn’t fit into the equation…..Rehome them. PLAIN AND SIMPLE

      Why deal with the headache?

      “Let one of these GOOD SAMARITANS who would NEVER rehome a pet take them”

      The DIE HARD pet lovers, that put children and pets in the same category are LOONS!

      • Well I believe in everyone’s good heart but my experience with people is that whatever they say to people they DO the opposite so those who say they’d never give away a pet probably lost their dog jumping over fence etc lol

      • Craigslist is full of so called goody animal people who gave their animals away at the slightest inconvenience or pet deposit or something they allowed their pet to do then decide wow my pet misbehaves lol just like a child they develop good and bad habits when left too long by themselves

      • Caring about animals doesn’t make someone a loon. You sound like someone who sees pets as inanimate objects. Obviously, human children are more important than animals. However, this woman doesn’t come across as a good pet owner. Many people make having a pet work after having kids, and she’s lucky enough to be a stay-at-home mom to boot. I’m glad the dogs will get to go to a better home, because I have my doubts she was ever a good owner to begin with, even before the kid came along.

        Pets have emotions, they can feel pain, and they bond with their owners. Being abandoned sucks, which is why people need to think long and hard about the what-ifs before getting a pet. They probably knew they were going to pop out a kid at some point; maybe she should have consider that, even while not working, she’d be too lazy to take the dogs for a walk.

        I sincerely hope she doesn’t end up getting another dog after her kid is older, only to abandon the next one when kid #2 comes along. She clearly can’t handle the responsibility.

        • You make many points what I’ve noticed about ppl responding on this thread is they miss the judging point.I have a few pets and a couple of fosters.None of my pets are vegan neither am I lol.Many responses extreme here.Don’t assume your pet is like someone else’s and allergies mean to that person whatever.One has to be ABLE to keep pets or the only way to do right by them is rehome them.Every animal deserves love and respect sometimes rehome is the best for THE PET

  39. I think you should have thought about the stability of your personal life and home life BEFORE you got a pet. Did you not think you would probably have children?! You are wrong, selfish and delusional. You are also cruel and irresponsible. Pets aren’t something to be ‘tried’ on and returned if later found to be too inconvenient for your new house, child, job, life, boyfriend, husband, spouse, partner, etc. What an irrational and immature post to have stumbled upon…

    • Your post assumes that someone isn’t well meaning which is why one shouldn’t assume Pets deserve our respect and best care BUT if for a reason beyond their control they can’t give them forever home it’s up to them to do right by the Pet and find another good home for them.Besides children people sometimes already have a pet and the newer pet doesn’t get on with the other pet for example.Give people benefit of doubt that’s what the original thread reflects

    • Save your comment then, Beverly, you know nothing about this person… troll.

  40. When I re-homed my cat. My bestfriend was so disgusted that she told me in a text “Im sorry, I cannot be your maid of honour at your wedding” This was 10 years ago. But I always wondered — did I really deserve that ?

  41. I agree. I came to this thread and saw all this down right rude comments towards people who rehome their pets. I recently did with my two dogs. One of them already bit my child in the face. The other one growled and nip at him. We tried everything. And no I wasn’t gonna have children (I was told I couldn’t conceive and didn’t for 8 years). And then I got pregnant which was a surprise for me and hubby. We tried everything from trainers, to finding friends to take my dogs. I was not going to give them up to the humane society so I waited for MONTHS for this no kill local shelter to take them. Finally a space opened up and has to make one of the hardest decisions of my life. I think about them every day and every second. But some of the comments here about the dogs being just as important as a child are just ridiculous. My child is first period. I don’t care if my dog came first into my life. The well-being of my child will always be number one. That trip to the ER was a nightmare and I would never forgive myself if he gets bitten again or has a worse injury than the one he had on his lip. And those of you who don’t have children are the last to speak. Unless you have a child of your own you don’t know what is like to be a parent. It literally happened in one second as a put his cup in the sink. Do I miss my dogs terribly? Yes. Was rehoming the best option? YES! They deserve a life where they can roam around and not be confined in a space and only let out for a little while. For those of you who rehome your pets for valid reasons, the guilt will be There for a while. I’m living through that right now. But I’m hoping it will ease up soon. I also agree with some comments here about some of people rehoming their pets for the most ridiculous reasons such as “the dog destroyed my curtains” or “he is too old”
    Or dropping them off on the streets like a pile of garbage. Those people are monsters and don’t deserve to have animals. But I see here most of the circumstances are valid. And if you are here commenting on this thread is because it really hurts you to rehome your pet and it sucks big time. Hugs to those of you who had no choice. I know how bad it hurts.

    • Totally agree with you for those who try to do right by giving up pets they can’t keep and making effort to love them enough to find them another loving home props and no judgments I believe that’s what the original thread author was trying to express.And unfortunately regrettably selfish so called animal rights people take every opportunity to NOT appreciate people with good intentions who try.So for those I say get a life go to animal shelter and actually keep pets instead of passing judgment.Put up or shut up lol. I have personal pets AND fosters I walk the walk.Be blessed yall

  42. I am SO happy I found this post. I just relocated with my boyfriend who is in the military and am giving up my dog of 7 years. My own family members have made me feel so guilty and I’ve even felt guilt, but I realized I need to do what is best for me! Especially if we have to continue to move, I can’t imagine dragging my poor dog along every time. Thank you for this!

  43. 2 years ago I gave my dog 24/7 care when she lost the use of her hind end. I thought I was going to lose her and the vet was sure we’d put her down as so many people do in such a situation. We gave her time and worked with her until she eventually started walking again. This still left her with far less control of her bodily functions than she once had. We had many accidents but we cleaned up every mess, knowing she was doing her best. She needs time that I once had and planned on having throughout her life. To our surprise, I got pregnant after years of infertility. Now those messes are a sanitation issue for my new baby. Eventually, my baby will be crawling on the same floor that my dog keeps messing on. Diapers don’t catch everything and leaving her outside is cruel to her as she’s always been an inside pet since we’ve had her. Even constant visits outside aren’t enough to lessen the messes. People are constantly telling me to put her down. Would that be a more acceptable thing to do for all these judgemental people? I would rather find her a nice hospice home to smother her in love and spend all day giving her one-on-one care. I know her, and I know she’s going to love her new family and they will love her. I will always think of her but I have to do what’s best for my family and my dog. I know I’m doing what’s best for her.

  44. SheryLynn Masters

    One common tone in the comments is shaming a pet owner who can’t or doesn’t want to be one anymore. For whatever the reasons, no matter how much shame and guilt you heap on their heads), would it make you feel better if they kept their pet in a home that is not a good home for it? Would you feel better to have them become resentful and come to dislike the animal? What if it got so stressful that they become bad pet parents? Wouldn’t all of that be far worse than to find a beloved pet a new and happy home? I can guarantee you, they already feel all the shame and failure without your wonderfully, constructive help.
    Yes, they should have thought about moving, new babies, fenced yards, and busy careers ahead of time but they made a mistake in judgement. Most people make regretful decisions at one time or another. If they are reading this article and looking into rehoming for a safe, happy home for their pet, I’d say that’s more responsible than keeping an unwanted pet. And it’s far, far better than just dropping them off at a shelter or giving them away for free to the first slime ball that agrees to take it. Now, those would just be lousy humans.

    • You make many good points.What I notice missing in this thread is appreciation for both people who love their pets enough to find them a new home if they cannot keep them AND the people willing to finish the forever home implied agreement with the pet and their owner companion.While us long timer pet owners know with having pets is that animals give love and trust unconditionally unlike people.And animals always deserve our love and patience.The original poster intended for people to learn how not to judge because Craigslist is just a resource be kind don’t assume just because you have good experiences each animals personality differs just like people.As long as you put the pets well being as a main consideration Craigslist can be a good resource for placing pets

  45. I’m struggling with this so much right now. I don’t want to rehome my cat however, I struggled a ton due to being very sick and so I had to move in with people who aren’t crazy about him. Its not so bad, we’re sort of figuring it out. However I now am also in a relationship now that takes me out of town every weekend. I am concerned about bringing him because they run a boarding place for dogs. Do I bring my cat into a home with anywhere from 10-40 dogs at a time? We really can’t be sure if every single dog is going to handle a cat well every time. It’s differentnif you need to train 2 dogs or something. Also, is it too stressful to bring him back and forth? I’m scared the stress of the move, the stress of hearing the dogs barking and running around, the danger of the dogs and getting out (they have multiple dog doors and my cat has always been an indoor cat. There’s fear he’ll leave and never come back. I also know I’ll be moving in there eventually so the question is…. what the heck do I do? We’ve thought of having someone “watch him” for a while but it’d be probably 2 years with the way life is right now. I just can’t figure out if it’s best to bring him and hope he doesn’t get seriously messed up (he has changed a lot just from our previous move to a quiet house) or killed? Or rehome him in a safe environment? I don’t need judgement obviously, but recommendations would help. Thanks

  46. I’m coming to terms with the fact we need to rehome our two cats. Husband was not military when we adopted them 3 years ago. He was planning on being a teacher but that changed. After he joined we took the cats when we moved and had a baby, the whole time I was pregnant I was almost tripping over them daily, and now they do the same when I’m carrying a fragil newborn. and since hubs was working 80-90 hours a week they were upset he didn’t spend time with them when he got home. They meowed and scratch at our doors every night which they still do but now they wake the baby after I spent hours putting him down, and I’m up every few hours. Neither of us have the time to give them the love an attention they deserve but we’ve contacted their previous foster mom and she’s going to help us rehome them together since they are litter mates. But it’s very sad to us. I just feel like we’re emotionally neglecting them the way things are now. And we would never put them in a shelter, we’re trying to do what’s best.

    • Also just to add to this I also have health problems right now (waiting to find out exactly what but choices are nonalcoholic Liver issues or cancer :() on top of being a new mom.

      • There are many good reasons to rehome your pet. There are some really stupid comments on here from people who seem to think they are heroes but have probably spent no time actually doing something to help a cause.

        I was recently diagnosed with a rare disease that is slowly attacking every organ in my body. I am in severe pain most days, I feel sick almost 24/7 and have to take strong medication to suppress my immune system.

        I am in and out of hospital and have to leave my dog with family or friends when I’m there- which is sometimes almost impossible to organise when you are passed out and in the back of an ambulance. I have had to leave my well paying career to live on government payments which barely cover my living costs and medical treatment.

        I now have to feed my dog budget food, and sometimes I starve myself to make sure she is fed. I can’t walk further than my letter box- so there is no way my dog is able to be walked. She recently got sick and has cost me almost $1000 in vet bills. The loan I took out to cover this has left me unable to even look after myself, let alone another being.

        How absolutely disgusting and selfish of me to get diagnosed with a disease that is slowely shutting down each organ in my body.

        Some people on here are absolutely pathetic! Life happens, shit happens and we have to deal with it. I’ve lost my career, my social life, my nice home and relationship due to an unforeseen disease. And now I’m about to loose the one thing that provides me love and comfort- only because I know she WILL be better off somewhere else.

        My dog is going to live with a friend who has a huge yard, a bigger heart and much more than I could possibly offer.

        I used to volunteer for the RSPCA (biggest animal rescue in oz). I’ve fostered over 30 guinea pigs at any one time and have picked up several strays off the street in my lifetime. But I guess, I’m just a cruel person for finding my dog a home that can afford to provide her healthy meals, pay for vet bills and take her for walks and play time.

        I would never wish my situation on other person, but I bet If put in my shoes, half of these people posting such selfish and nasty comments would do exactly as I am doing.

  47. Dogs aren’t made of glass. Dogs have to go live with new people when their owners die or move out of the country. They get left with parents when kids move away for work or school. They get separated from owners during breakups and divorce.

    And they are fine.

    Dogs are adaptive, flexible animals that need exercise, good food, structure, and friendship more than they need a dysfunctional relationship with the human that they’ve been living with the longest/most recently.

  48. Good grief you people are a bunch of judgmental assholes. Personally I think it’d be better to rehome a dog then for the whole family to remain miserable after trying everything they can think of to make it work. But no no, here’s a good idea; keep the dog. You can be miserable, the dog can be miserable everybody can be miserable. But at least you never committed the unpardonable sin of rehoming a dog.

    • Haha right? Keeping a dog you’re not fully committed to is not good for ANYONE – including the pet. People often overlook this.

  49. Christine Duval

    I was very happy to read your post. I had taken in a stray abandoned cat last year. I tried really hard not to take her in, but she won me over. I did not take her to a vet to get shots or spayed. She would still go outside and she got pregnant. I did not bargain for that, however, I didn’t abandon her either. She gave birth to 6 kittens. I have given 3 of them to other homes. I will be keeping mom and one kitten and have tried very hard to find homes for the other 2. I will have to take them to animal control. I have to let go of the guilt and do while they are still young (4 months old) and people want a kitten. I was even going to send all of them there, but I can’t do that just yet. The reason is because of finances. It is pricey to have that many pets. Not just food and liter but added home cleaning and things to make the house smell good and not like a liter box.

  50. When Considering Buying a Pet
    Q
    1. Are you prepared to take that pet with you where you go in life, and change your life accordingly to accommodate the responsibility you took on?
    2. Do you plan on taking on other responsibilities that may conflict with a healthy lifestyle of the pet?(In which you might, or wont be able to balance?)
    3. Is there a good chance you might be forced to give up the pet for some reason in the future due to job/living space etc?
    A
    1. If you answered no -> don’t get a pet
    2. If you answered yes -> don’t get a pet
    3. If you answered yes -> don’t get a pet

    Seems pretty straightforward. Goes with any major long term responsibility.
    I have found most people have not looked at all of their solutions, and end up excusing it for more than one reason once their initial reason is debunked.

    Its fair to judge selfish people. Especially when dealing with other living beings.

    • Spoken just like someone who hasn’t yet experienced a circumstance requiring them to reassess the ownership of their pet. It’s really none of your business.

  51. Our family have a 14 year old dachshund. She had been with us for a long time, even after we had our first baby. Now the “baby” is almost 4 years old. I am also an entrepreneur and my health suffered due to stress and got what’s called “adrenal fatigue” and my wife is now pregnant with another baby.

    I’ve always believed it was the right thing to do to keep our dog until she passes away.

    But she is unfortunately loosing her senses and excreting everywhere missing her designated area, multiple times a day, which adds more stress which is hindering me to recover properly because with adrenal fatigue, it’s critically important to keep stress at bay. She also wakes up and walks around in the middle of the night which wakes everyone up too.

    But again, I could not give her away because of guilt and I just didn’t think it was the “right thing” to do. I thought the right thing to do is to just suck it up and put up with it until she dies no matter how stressful it is.

    But there were moments when I’d post up an ad on craigslist thinking I’m not able to handle it anymore only to put it down shortly after, and not responding to requests who wanted to take her.

    But…as I watch my pregnant wife get stressed whenever she sees puke on the carpet or urine on tiles, and lashing out to the dog, I began to wonder if it’s all even worth it.

    I value kindness and love but my child is seeing his mom lashing out towards animals. He is seeing how his mom gets stressed every day and putting up with it.

    Sure, she didn’t start out that way but nobody can endure stress forever, especially with a pregnant body.

    That’s why we finally found a nice elderly lady via petfinder.com which is a legitimate site that checks on the background of adopters and processes transfer and ownership in a legal, official way.

    Apparently she had another dog that recently passed and is heartbroken.

    I’ve always thought that US keeping our dog was the best for our dog but when I pause and think about it, I can be seriously wrong.

    Our baby has gotten all the attention after he was born and with the second coming, our dog will most likely get even lesser attention. We’re not even able to walk her for God’s sakes. We didn’t start out that way, life just happened.

    I believe the elderly woman will give our dog much more love, care and attention. It’s the best for all of us. For us, for the woman, and yes for our dog as well.

    She will be sending us occasional pictures and texts to update us how she’s doing.

    So for everyone who points fingers at those who gives away their dogs – understand that most do so after deliberating and going back and forth and only do so after it finally reaches a breaking point where it’s unbearable.

    NOBODY wants to give up their dog they love. Nobody. You would think someone who gives up their dog is a cold, selfish person who uses them as a toy and gives them away when it’s inconvenient but it can’t be further from the truth. We really tried. That’s why I’m reading this article the DAY before the adoption lady is coming over just so I can gain some perspective.

    I have went back and forth posting up ad on Craigslist, removing it, posting it back up, removing it for over a year. But finally, it’s time to do what we should’ve done long time ago. So before you point your fingers, don’t think that you will ever be immune to this.

  52. Yep. We’re not military but we moved overseas 5 years ago (brought our beloved golden with us). Now we have a 3 year old. One on the way. We’re planning a move back overseas next year and between our dog’s age, the anxiety he’s acquired from a dog attack three years ago and the $9,000 bill to move him overseas with no guarantee he’ll be the same dog on the other end – we can’t. I’m putting my energy in to finding him a good home here, he’s 9 years old and doesn’t deserve four plane rides and an uncertain amount of time in quarantine. To then return to a limited housing market and a place that is largely unfriendly to dogs. When we moved five years ago, we didn’t think we’d have two young kids in tow and a dog who is emotionally wrecked from that process. It’s not fair to think owners give up their dogs without a thought. It’s not fair, at all, to say we should have committed to his 10-15 years of life and overlook the life we have given him so far – he’s been at the frontline of every decision we’ve made, and now we have had to make a really, really difficult one although it’s for the best for us both. It’s going to break our hearts.

    Many are so quick to judge you when leaving a pet but don’t consider how much turmoil the owner goes through in the process much of the time. Many people don’t just dump their dogs, they find them appropriate homes and leave them knowing they spent their years together in harmony. They don’t abandon them, they think the best for them and put their own emotions as owners second. It’s really, really hard. But it’s just what’s best for our family, in the long run, and we know it. Now, if only everyone else would try to understand.

  53. Wow… None of this was relieving for me. The internet was meant to enlighten and connect humanity, and instead it is tearing us apart…. I came on here with the pain in my heart, reaching for someone to help me with the self talk of why it’s not fair for this stray cat and her babies to stay with us…. I let a stray cat in my home during the first cold front in December and couple of days later, she had a litter of three kittens. They are beautiful, sweet, and each of them has their own personality. But I can’t take the responsibility of 4 cats. We have 3 kids and are finally moving forward from the paycheck to paycheck lifestyle (barely.) There is a problem in our neighborhood with people getting adorable kittens and throwing them pou unfixed and unvaccinated when they’ve become cats. I didn’t want this cat to die and now we have 3 young lives we have saved too. They wouldn’t be alive today, I’m sure of it. But it hurts. We’ve all grown attached to them, gave them our love, and vice versa. It hurts but we have to put their best interests first. We didn’t want a pet but we fell in love with the animals that came in our lives. It happens. They will be going to their new home on Saturday, with lots of love, their own garage/house ajoined to the house, and lots of love and necessary medical attention. But we will miss them and we will always love them. My kids think I’m soulless btw. And their words hurt more than any text happy internet troll.

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