Ahh, the internet – where proposal videos go viral, friends show off and gush over their perfect lives, and your Pinterest board is full of spotless houses and faraway exotic locales.
Basically, it’s a show of one-upmanship.
And where disappointment, resentment and anger boil beneath the surface.
Hey, I’m guilty of it.
I see the engagement posts and the photos of bouquets of flowers and gifts – holidays (especially if alone) are the worst – and I literally grit my teeth while I comment “congratulations!” or “beautiful!”
We as women tend to compare ourselves to others in a BIG way.
I think this is even more true for military spouses and significant others. We see all the great care package ideas, homecoming photos, the ‘happily ever after’ online via Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest. We long for those perfect moments with our SOs. We daydream about them; we picture it our head and see it as if it’s a movie on the big screen.
And then when it doesn’t happen we are crushed. The disappointment comes in waves – first we’re sad, then mad or annoyed that it didn’t happen just as we scripted it, then we feel defeated.
Guess what? Nothing ever goes as you’ve scripted it in your head. Not a damn thing.
No matter how much you plan, something is going to come up and you’ll have to create a new plan.
Life isn’t perfect. Not yours. Not your friends’.
And that doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you. Just because your life isn’t roses and unicorns and perfectly well-behaved children doesn’t mean your life isn’t perfect FOR you.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting more – with wanting that perfect homecoming or the perfect holiday or the amazing surprise proposal that’s caught on video and shared with the world. There really isn’t.
What is wrong is to expect that uber high level of amazingness every.single.day. You will be disappointed. And that’s no way to go about living your life.
Instead of constantly expecting some big perfect grand gesture or surprise or gift, look at all the little amazing things going on in your life.
Maybe instead of being upset that there were no surprise (insert holiday here) gifts, be happy that you got to wake up with your love next to you. Or see their face via Skype. Or talk to them even if it’s on a static-filled line.
The only thing you should be expecting from your loved one is just that – love. Everything else is just a bonus.