Dear Military Spouse (on the iPhone)


After all the talk about “Dear Mom on the iPhone,” we realized that military spouses are often “that” person. Our phones stand for so much more that others might realize…

Dear Military Spouse on the iPhone,


Dear MilSpouse on the iPhone,

We get it. We know why you’re tethered to your iPhone. Why it never leaves your side. Why you stop mid-meal, even though you’re out with friends, to check to see if that latest ding is the i’m-okay-can’t-talk-now message you’ve been waiting for. Don’t apologize, we don’t think you’re rude.

We know you aren’t ignoring your children because you’re on your phone. You’re uploading a video to cheer up your spouse halfway across the globe. You’re keeping him connected as his children grow and change … your videos are his joy.

We never get offended when you tell us “gotta go … she’s calling” and we never wonder who “she” is. We know.

We know that your iPhone has become your teddy bear. Your comfort blanket. Your lifeline.

Your iPhone is your lover. Your co-parent. Your peace of mind.

Your phone gives you freedom, allowing you to take your spouse everywhere you go so you don’t miss a precious call, a message, or an email that gives you a much appreciated heads up that family dinner is on tonight.

Or maybe you’ve PCSed a million miles away from your friends, your family, your home.

We know that you might be talking to your friends from your last duty station who miss you terribly, but are giving you words of encouragement, telling you that your paths will cross again in our small, small world.

Perhaps you’re talking with your sister while she’s in labor, even though you’d sworn, years ago, that you’d be there wiping her brow, cheering her on, crying with joy by her side. Or maybe Grammy is sick and the best medicine and care you can provide is the sound of your voice.

We know that you’re doing your best to balance and blend your many roles. Your iPhone is your office, your classroom, your career. With your phone, you take over the world.  You can take time away from work to volunteer at your child’s school or make that midday FRG meeting.

So don’t worry, next generation military spouses. Don’t feel guilty. Our military spouse brothers and sisters from generations past wouldn’t have done it any differently. Where they struggled for information, connection, and free-flowing communication, we hold our family and friends in the palm of our hands.

Sending you much love and support,
NextGen MilSpouse



  1. Wow…this is SO true….and during deployment we are all that person. Once he returned home safely, I not only felt relieved for that, but also relieved to not be tethered SO tightly to all forms of technology that we communicated through! (It does become addicting, when the one you love is so far away and in harms way!!!)
    Pam @ The Patriotic Pam

    • Thank you for leaving a comment, Pam! We feel fortunate for our unprecedented connectivity today.

  2. Well said! When my husband was deployed, my phone was attached to me at all times. He even called me a few times while I was out running (once during a 10k race), and you better believe I answered it! (I still managed a personal record in the 10k – how’s that for multitasking?)

    And you are right to point out that it’s not just during deployment. Life throws a lot at us, and those phones are often times our lifelines. When it comes to things like people spending time on their phones, I cannot pass judgement on others and I’d hope they’d do me the same courtesy.

  3. Oh, this made me cry. So very, very true. My husband is currently gone and my phone is never far away from me. And not just so I can be there if he calls…but its also there so I don’t miss a text from a friend who’s husband is also gone who may be asking for prayers, commisseration or a laugh. Thank you.

    • Aww, Tricia! We didn’t mean to make you cry! Big hugs and sending our collective strength to you.

  4. I am living this now. The worst is hearing it ring and scrambling to find it in my purse ugh! I even went so far as to forward all the home calls to my cell phone in case he called that number instead. My phone is the first thing I reach for in the morning to the email that he is back in safe and sound.

  5. finally someone who understands lol my husband is always on me about how addicted i am to my phone but what he doesn’t truly understand along with it being a focus point for my ADD its also my life line to not only him being that he’s 7 thousand miles away literally but to my family back home now that i am hundreds of miles away from them so thank you for posting this and making me feel 100 times better about having this slightly crazy obsession with my phone lol

  6. […] Our mobile devices allows us to instantaneously share what’s on our minds. I love that. Before my husband left for Korea, he had a terrible old flip phone. We immediately realized that it was no way to stay in touch while he was overseas. It was time to retire the flip phone. Seriously, having a smartphone has become a necessity for military families. Don’t you agree? Without them, we can’t access email from anywhere or use other essential communications apps. I’ve grown to obsess over my phone. I’m not alone.  […]

  7. This is so true. I was definitely THAT women, parent, wife and mother on her phone and on alert for any message that it may hold from my Hubby during deployment. I know that people (including my family) judged me but I honestly didn’t care. I knew what my phone really meant to me and that was my only focus. Great Post!

  8. […] my journey, I saw families gathered around together, but glued to their mobile devices or tablets. As we were waiting for our trains to arrive, we’re all complete oblivious to each […]

  9. Love this article.

    I was on the phone at the park the other day and, since I’ve seen all those articles going around chastising parents for using their phones around their children, I wondered what the other parents thought of me. But my husband was able to call and I didn’t want to miss talking to him. I was able to tell him exactly what our son was doing at the playground that morning: going down the big slide, trying the climbing wall, scaling a ladder. It was the kind of thing that I probably wouldn’t have described in detail later on, but it was fun for my husband to hear how many more things our son can do since he left. Sooooo thankful for technology at times like that!


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