Are Your Friends Sucking the Life Out Of You?

vampire shareI love moving. Always have. It’s a natural “cleansing” period for me. I love the opportunity to start over and make changes.

Clean out the closet – do I really need 17 sweaters now that I live in the south?

Clean out the house – donate the books I bought but never got around to reading.

Clean out the pantry – start new, fresh and healthy.

A coach taught me the best way to part with items without guilt – ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do I NEED it?
  • Do I LOVE it?
  • Does it reflect who I WANT to be?

Funny thing is, I’ve used this more in regards to the PEOPLE in my life than the THINGS in my life. And it works surprisingly well in either case.

For those of us who move a lot, it’s fairly easy to know who are your real friends. They’re the ones who call you to see how you’re doing and keep in touch easily. The others who maybe weren’t as good to you or for you tend to just fall away.

Other times we just get the urge to make changes. Sometimes you notice that you just don’t feel good around some people. Or that you feel depressed or angry or lost or lonely.

There’s truth to the saying that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with – I’m not including your spouse/children. Take a look around at the people you grace with your time. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do they gossip? (If they gossip TO you, they will gossip ABOUT you.)
  • Do they encourage you?
  • Are they someone you would aspire to be like?
  • Do they listen and help you make good decisions?
  • Do you feel judged when you’re with them, or observe them judging others?
  • Do they question you when you may be making a bad decision?
Jessica and Krista are NOT Vampires….

You probably don’t need these questions. You know if you need to find new people to surround yourself with. You do. For me, I get agitated or stressed out easily by people who drain me – emotional vampires, if you will.

Remember, it’s not essential to get along with everyone you meet. Friends should NOT stress you out. They should lift you up. They should encourage you and you should encourage them. If you don’t feel like that, seek out those who DO make you feel that way or who will encourage you.

Find someone you can have fun and be silly with. Someone who pushes you to accomplish your goals and keeps you on task when you stray. (For me, one of those people is my friend Krista.

Don’t forget to take a good hard look at yourself, too!  You don’t want to be the friend that everyone avoids or stresses others.

Have you ever been lured in by an emotional vampire?  How did you break away or are you having problems ditching your own vampire?  What’s stopping you?


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