Today we’re going to talk about something you’ve probably done or thought about doing or that your spouse pleaded with you to do and you unwillingly (or totally willingly) took one for the team…
sending sexy photos to your service member.
If you blush easily, today’s article might not be for you—but we bet you have a friend that might need our guidance. Grab the smelling salts and a fan and soldier on.
We’ve all heard horror stories about what happens when the best of sexy intentions go horribly wrong, but it doesn’t seem to stop the brave, the few, the proud, the willing-to-bare-it-all-because-all-is-fair-in-love-and-war spouse holding down the homefront.
It isn’t by some happy coincidence that we’re discussing the ins and outs…stop giggling…of sending sexy photos to your spouse. You wouldn’t believe the conversation that erupted in our NextGen MilSpouse writer’s group when we shared DefenseWife.com’s latest piece Sexy Photos to Military Spouse Sinful. Not only did we have, perhaps, one of the most amazing web-based conversations in recent history, our team really drilled down on the nitty gritty details and tips that every military spouse needs to know before they mail, hit send, or text sexy photos to their service member spouse.
Set the Rules of Engagement (ROE) for Sexy Spouse Photos with your Spouse
The fact that we’re having this conversation means that common sense is a relative thing. And when it comes to our spouses, what’s common sense for us, might not necessarily be common sense for them. Before you part with any photos, real or digital, make sure that your spouse understands your comfort level with printing, displaying, and SHARING…oh yes, we said sharing…your photos.
Know Your (Exposure) Comfort Level
Don’t feel pressured to go full monty! Remember that any time you invite technology into your bedroom you’re putting yourself at risk for showing up on the public domain. Sexy doesn’t necessarily equal nekkid. You can find playful and fun ways to show a little skin without showing everything your mama gave you.
A good tech savvy rule? Don’t put anything out there you wouldn’t want to claim if you planned to run for public office.
Consider Curating and Storing Your Content Ahead of Time
Rather than messing with the stickiness of sending photos via email or text, consider taking photos and loading digital copies on to your spouse’s personal computer before they depart. You can password protect and encrypt folders to keep prying eyes and networks out of your goodies.
You can also go old-school with your photos and load them onto CDs…wait…we still know what those are right? Phew. Just make sure you and your spouse develop an innocuous code word to label your FYEO (For Your Eyes Only) photos. Preferably not FYEO. I mean, come on. Let’s get creative!
Don’t Send Your Photos to an Official Military or Government Email Address or Send Your Photos via Your Work Email Account
Yes, we’re saying it because yes, it happens. Your work email inboxes are monitored and are subject to scrutiny by the IT team. As one of our writer’s said, “You know what IT guys and gals do all day? Read attachments.”
Please don’t do it. It’s not tech savvy at all. You could argue that emailing any pictures you wouldn’t feel comfortable splayed across the internet isn’t tech savvy, but if you’re going to take the risk, just say no to official email inboxes and addresses.
Make Sure Your Spouse Does Not Open or Save Your Sexy Photos on a Government or Public Use Computer or Cloud Storage System
Another “duh” tip, but we wouldn’t say it if it didn’t happen. Even if you take the time to send your pics via a non-work oriented email address or email network, if you or your spouse use a public computer or work computer as part of your sexy photo delivery service, you’re putting yourself at risk for exposure. Public computers are exactly that— public.
Know the Risks…and the Consequences
Some of the risks associated with sending sexy pics has absolutely nothing to do with the sending and everything to do with the display and storage of the goods.
Here’s some more food for thought:
Some countries have very clear SOFA (status of forces agreements) that specifically prohibit any lewd or lascivious materials (read: nekkid pictures of ANYONE…even spouses) from entering their borders. Possessing materials that appear to be pornographic in nature can result in serious consequences, like an Article 15.
If your spouse is MEDEVACed, someone else will (eventually) pack up her possessions and send them home. And if there’s an investigation, they might be looking through her hard drive too.
Whatever you decide to do, educate yourselves, know the risks and snap responsibly.