The Cost of Putting Yourself Last

Ever been so busy you haven’t had time to take a breath, let alone do anything you really want to do?

I think that’s actually the textbook definition of military spouse.

As military spouses we have grand ideas of what we’ll do “when we have the time” … take a cooking class, go to yoga, get a massage, have a glass of wine with a friend.

Only, we never have the time. We always put our wants at the end of the line.

Are You Hurting Your Relationship By Ignoring Your Needs?

But, what if putting ourselves last was actually hurting our relationships?

Think about it this way … when you always give up your wants and desires, what is that showing others?

Some might that putting others ahead of yourself shows you’re dependable and reliable.  And, you’re right.  It does. But too often, that turns into something that is exploited rather than lauded.

At first, you’re all too willing to help a friend…until you start to feel like you’re being taken advantage of and then you start to resent them.

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Now, think of how that impacts your family … you complain, you’re irritable, you start snapping at your family or kids. Not good, right?

It’s Okay to Make Yourself A Priority

Many of us worry about putting ourselves first.  We worry that we’re being selfish or that we’re not living up to our duties as a military spouse or a significant other or a parent or a friend.

When we take time out for ourselves, we’re showing people that we matter just as much as they do.

We’re showing our partners and kids that it’s OK to take time for yourself.  In life there has to be a balance of give and take.

Think about the last time you did something for yourself. Maybe you took an afternoon to go shopping with a friend or escape to a coffee shop for quiet time. You may feel guilty as you’re walking out the door but eventually you relaxed, enjoyed the time.

What happened when you went home?  Your kids were happy to see you.  You smiled at them, you hugged them, and you felt rejuvenated.

Don’t you think it’s important to have that feeling more often?

Take a moment and schedule some time next week that’s just for YOU.  You deserve it.