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Why MilSpouse Entrepreneurs Need To Connect With Syracuse’s IVMF Programs

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I consider myself a freelancer and an independent contractor. I’m not an entrepreneur, at least that’s what I’ve been telling myself.

But after attending the Institute for Veterans and Military Families’ Veteran EDGE conference, I’m thinking it’s time to incorporate and make my business owner dreams a reality.

Why?

Because at Veteran EDGE, I could see the power that the Institute for Veterans and Military Families (IVMF) programs at Syracuse University have for business owners – not just veterans, but military spouses too. Serving military families is at the core of what IVMF does every day.

Why Military Spouse Entrepreneurs Should Connect With Syracuse's IVMF Programs

Photo Credit: Institute for Veterans and Military Families

IVMF Founder and Executive Director Michael Haynie recognizes the sacrifices of military families and that’s why their suite of programs are open to all military family members. He recently testified in front of Congress about the sacrifices made by military families during the last 45 years of an all-volunteer force.

“Taking care of military families can’t be a nice thing to do, it’s part of our future defense.”

– Michael Haynie

IVMF Founder and Executive Director

Where does IVMF fit into supporting military families? They offer programs for those connected to the military community and they also research veteran and military family-focused programs and policies to inform their programs as well as their partners.

The conference I attended, Veteran EDGE, is designed for entrepreneurs who are growing their businesses. They may have attended one of IVMF’s other programs, including V-WISE, Boots to Business, and Entrepreneurship Bootcamp. The 3-day conference featured topics including habits of profitability, work-life balance, and negotiation. Speakers included veterans turned entrepreneurs and experts in their field to help these business owners take their companies to the next level.

Here’s why every military spouse who wants to launch a business should connect with IVMF:

IVMF’s Like-Minded Community

Sandra Gonzalez, a veteran and military spouse attended V-WISE in 2013 with an idea, and soon thereafter founded Docere eLearning. She now runs that business and coaches fellow entrepreneurs on how to successfully pitch their companies at competitions.

“(V-WISE) showed me all my possibilities, either running a small company or make it bigger,” Sandra said. “And later as I progressed they had impactful tools that I used, and gave me the social and moral support with veteran and military spouse friends.”

Why Military Spouse Entrepreneurs Should Connect With Syracuse's IVMF Programs

Photo Credit: Institute for Veterans and Military Families

I saw this at the conference, with people catching up with one another but also making business connections. In one breakout session, attendees shared and brainstormed ideas with one another as the session progressed. You could instantly see that people were there to learn and help each other. At lunch someone mentioned to me that at other conferences that’s not the case, which makes IVMF events even more special.

IVMF Has Resources for Veterans and Military Spouses

Sandra told me about the resources she’s gotten through IVMF, including help filing her trademark. This can be costly once you factor in hiring a lawyer, but with the resources from the IVMF network she only had to pay the filing fees.

Courses like V-WISE and Entrepreneurship Bootcamp for Veterans Families offer support for a full year following completion. That means that the program is not just a one time thing, they are there with you as you continue your idea and build your company.

Their Business Partners

IVMF sponsors come from a wide range of companies but they all have one thing in common – they want to support the military community, even if you don’t do business with them.

First Data is not only committed to hiring veterans and military spouses with First Data Salutes, but they believe in investing in entrepreneurs. They wanted to know, “how do we have an impact (on the military community) beyond hiring?” Their business is to help grow businesses by processing payments at stores of all sizes, but their investment in IVMF focuses on investing in entrepreneurs.

“It’s a force multiplier,” said Vivian Greentree, Senior Vice President, Head of Global Corporate Citizenship at First Data Corporation. “Veterans and military spouses hire veterans and military spouses. It’s good business to do business with veteran- and military-owned businesses.”

It’s good business to do business with veteran- and military-owned businesses.

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Expert Speakers

The lineup of speakers, from keynotes to breakout sessions, were phenomenal. They were experts in their field – from CFOs to successful entrepreneurs to college professors – each brought their own style and story to the attendees. Many of the experts were veterans themselves, making it easier to have that common connection as they from service member to business owner.

One of my favorite sessions was on personal branding to negotiate. How do these go hand in hand? Well, without a positive presentation of yourself (your brand) you may not land that deal. The speaker, a professor form Louisiana State University broke down just how to leverage your brand to be successful.

Why Military Spouse Entrepreneurs Should Connect With Syracuse's IVMF Programs

Photo Credit: Institute for Veterans and Military Families

My biggest takeaway?

Facial expressions make up 55% of your likability. So before you go out to negotiate that next deal or partnership, practice your resting face to be pleasant and try to control those emotions throughout the meeting. If you overreact to something you see across the table, that could be a deal-breaker, and vice versa.

It’s Not Just About You

One of the most valuable sessions I went to was on Habits of Profitability (valuable, ha, see what I did there?). My biggest takeaway from that session was that when you build your business, look at ways that you can eventually remove yourself.

“But why?” I can hear you asking.

Because you don’t want to get stuck in the owner’s trap. The owner’s trap is essentially when the business can’t function without you, the owner, signing off on EVERYTHING. Where can you automate? How can you train and hand off tasks to new hires? How can you build up their leadership abilities to own their work?

Now does the buck ultimately stop with you? Yes.

But if someone has to come to you to approve every little thing or customers only talk to you, you can’t focus on continuing the growth of what you’re already doing. So yes, you ultimately have to hand things off to other people.

You could even hire military spouses and veterans to do that work, the ones you met at an IVMF program.

You could hire military spouses and veterans.

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Why Should You Connect With IVMF?

Because they are committed to helping military spouse business owners not only launch but grow their companies. They bring in the people that not only know firsthand how to do that, but want to help you, and not in a cheesy “give me your money” way. They honestly are taking time out of their schedules to be there.

And IVMF programs are reasonably priced. These aren’t gimmicks. They are beneficial programs that have helped members of our community be successful, like MadSkills who won a pitch competition and are graduates of V-WISE.

Learn more about IVMF programs today and apply to participate in their programs by clicking here. 

Forever In Camo

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The boy who didn’t want anyone to see him in his military uniform became a man defined by what that uniform meant.

by Tiffany Mathews, Guest Contributor

When he came home for Christmas exodus during basic training, all his relatives wanted to see him in his military uniform. As his best friend, I got the pleasure of driving him around, listening to him mumble under his breath about not wanting attention.

It has been 10 years since then and while he has traded in the digi-camo for hunting gear, his allegiance to his military uniform has developed to a whole new level.

Sometimes I have trouble reconciling the boy who literally hid from people when he was wearing his uniform with the man who lights up when he talks about his deployment. It has been 8 years since his deployment, 4 since he was honorably discharged and this is the first year I feel like I have been getting close to honoring the man who came home.

Ironically it started with a different form of camouflage. He went bow hunting in high school and owned his shot gun and rifle well before we started dating.

He recently gave up his guns due to financial constraints and because we became foster parents, a role which makes gun usage difficult, if not impossible.

This year, I told him he needed to bring it back. He needed to put the camo back on. Some days, I know he wishes for the digi-camo and to be supporting his brothers and sisters in arms. Hunting is not the same as serving in the National Guard, but both activities speak to the heart of who he is.

He put in for an elk hunt in March. May approached. His excitement and eagerness to check the web site to find out if he had been drawn for the hunt were evident.

May also brought another event that I am never quite sure how to honor.

Memorial Day.

The boy who didn’t want anyone to see him in his military uniform became a man defined by what that uniform meant.

There are so many people who deserve honor on this day that to even begin to do something meaningful seems like a Herculean task.

However, with hunting bringing back some of my husband’s personality, I knew I needed to do something to recognize what the day means to him. For the first time, I suggested taking whirligigs to put on the graves of a few of the men he had served with who are buried at the local National Veterans Memorial Cemetery.

A small token for a big gesture, but it was something.

We took our children and taught them what paying respect looks like.

Sometimes it cannot be grandiose.

Sometimes it is in the quiet breath you take and the prayer you breathe out, standing at a gravesite.

Sometimes it is shaking the hand of your fellow soldier’s grown daughter and telling his grandkids that he was a wonderful man.

I got to sit back and watch my husband do that. And like with all the things that truly matter to us, it lit him up inside.

He got the notification that he has been drawn to hunt elk this December in June. Since that day, he spends much of his free time researching what he will need. He is talking about going to buy camo. When he talks about camo, his soul glows.

When he talks about camo, his soul glows.

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The boy who didn’t want anyone to see him in his military uniform became a man defined by what that uniform meant.

Photo by Mike Erskine on Unsplash

Last night, we got rained out in an Arizona monsoon while trying to camp. He was obviously disappointed. The friend we brought with us started asking him about his deployment. He talked about the things he saw while he was in Iraq. He mentioned the 2 grenades that were thrown at his squad that did not blow up, for no reason anyone could work out. He talked about looking down on the city of Mosul during their transports and seeing explosions from random places. As he spoke, the disappointment from that night vanished.

Once again, he was in his element.

This year, I am beginning to understand.

The boy who didn’t want anyone to see him in his military uniform became a man defined by what that uniform meant.

He is ready to accept the recognition for his military service now because he is not just accepting it for himself alone. He is accepting it for the man who stood to his left and the one who stood to his right.

Now, when my husband mumbles under his breath, it is about how no one appreciates or understand the value of Operation Iraqi Freedom. He knows what others went through. He knows how his military service changed him and our marriage. He knows it has been worth it.

I have always believed it has been worth it, even in those early days when he was just my best friend and his military uniform was just a sign that he was going back to marching in formation and doing push-ups.

Even when he decided that the best move for our family was for him not to re-sign his contract, I believed his military service has been worth it.

Belief is not the same thing as honoring, however.

Now, that he is no longer serving in the military, it is important that I do not just put the military behind me. I need to honor his military service for who it made him and for who it made me.

Tiffany Mathews

In addition to being the wife of a former National Guard soldier, Tiffany is a mom to three (ages 11, 4, and 1), a public library assistant, follower of Christ, direct sales purchaser, freelance writer, daydreamer, book reader and coffee drinker in no particular order. You read more from Tiffany at her blog, Believing in Roses. 

 

Happy Hour Podcast Ep. 25: Dirty, Dirty Bluetooth

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NextGen MilSpouse’s Happy Hour Podcast is the official podcast of NextGenMilSpouse.com. We offer a fresh and modern take on military life for today’s Military Spouse. From navigating your career to surviving your next move, NextGen MilSpouse has you covered.

Our news and current events are brought to you by our friends at Military.com. Make sure you never miss a show or a story by subscribing to our podcast on iTunes or GooglePlay and by signing up for the NextGen MilSpouse Newsletter at NextGenMilSpouse.com.

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Episode 25 Podcast Notes

Join NextGen MilSpouse’s Adrianna Lupher, Michelle Volkmann and Jessica Hall, and 2 amazing guests — Rebekah Sanderlin and Amanda Crowe.

How You Can #BeThere for Our Veterans and Military Community Members

Rebekah gives us the lowdown on the Veterans Crisis Line’s new campaign. “Be There” provides tips and advice on how to be there for each other, our veterans and our community at large. Visit the Veterans Crisis Line Be There website to learn more.

 

HOW to AMPLIFY Your Career with In Gear Career

Amanda Crowe, program director for In Gear Career for Military Spouses, tells us why EVERY career-minded military spouse needs to apply to attend AMPLIFY 2016 and how you can hit her with your toughest career conundrums over at Military.com’s Dear Career Column.

 

NextGen MilSpouse Articles that Have Us Talking

Social Media Round Up Courtesy of Sheriff Jessica

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Military Community Resource Spotlight: Hire Heroes USA

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Editor’s Note: Our monthly Military Community Resource Spotlight is an Q&A that provides information about organizations who serve military spouses and their families. The purpose is to connect military spouses with available resources designed to help them thrive in military life. This month’s military community resource spotlight is Hire Heroes USA. 

Military Community Resource Spotlight: Hire Heroes USA

Organization’s Name: Hire Heroes USA

Year Established: 2005

What’s the history of your organization?

Hire Heroes USA empowers U.S. military members, veterans and spouses to succeed in the civilian workforce.

Military Community Resource Spotlight: Hire Heroes USA

What services does your organization offer?

Resume Revision – Interview Preparation – Networking Guidance.

All Hire Heroes USA services are provided at no cost to military spouses.

We also have a private job board in which clients can view and apply for jobs with employment partners. We build personal relationships with each company on the job board and often have a point of contact in the human resources department of the company. Only the clients we work with are able to apply for these positions, so it is an added benefit of registering to receive services from our organization.

How does your organization specifically meet the needs of today’s military family?

It is important to note that the Institute of Veterans and Military Families/Military Officers Association of America recently published the following statistics:

  • In 2012, female military spouses ages 18 to 24 had the highest unemployment rate across all other demographics at 30%
  • 90% of employed military spouses report being underemployed based on their experience and/or education level

Hire Heroes USA has the ability to reduce the number of unemployed or underemployed military spouses by ensuring volunteer experience, prior work experience and desirable skills are effectively portrayed on a resume. Specifically, we empower spouses by individually pairing them with a highly trained Transition Specialist who works collaboratively to: create a tailored resume that effectively highlights skills and achievements, learn effective job searching, networking, and interviewing techniques, and get connected with companies that are actively hiring.

All @HireHeroesUSA services are provided at no cost to #milspouses.

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We empower all transitioning military members, veterans and their spouses by building the confidence and skills necessary to seek civilian employment through a continuum of free, individualized programs that are delivered through personalized online career coaching. Because many of our services are provided via phone and email, we are able to work with individuals all over the world. Since many spouses may be stationed overseas, this is a great aspect of our program.

What does your organization do differently than any other military community organization or resource?

Hire Heroes USA’s team of former military and private sector professionals effectively trains spouses in the skills of self-marketing. The Transition Specialist then supports the client’s career search until they find a good job with a great company. This personal approach is the hallmark of our program, and is unlike many other programs offering similar services. We work with clients until they no longer wish to receive services or until they find employment. Our services never go away, so even after they find employment, they can reach back out to us if they choose to pursue another career opportunity. This comes in handy when a spouse is facing a PCS change and would like to find work in their new location.

Hire Heroes USA’s high touch approach is extremely effective, cutting in half the average length of unemployment for Hire Heroes USA clients (13 weeks), compared with the national average (26 weeks).

What is your most underutilized program/service?

We have a great volunteer program that is utilized often, but we definitely want to make sure that we highlight our career counseling opportunities. This is where a client is paired with a volunteer within the industry in which they want to work, and they are able to ask questions and gain information about the industry. Career counseling sessions are a great opportunity for clients to learn more about how to break into a particular industry and also make connections that they can utilize during their career search. We also offer mock interview opportunities to clients through the volunteer program. Again, these services are provided free of charge to spouses.

And by the way, we are always looking for volunteers! Any individual interested in volunteering with our organization can fill out the form on our website.

Military Community Resource Spotlight: Hire Heroes USA

Hire Heroes USA’s high touch approach is extremely effective, cutting in half the average length of unemployment for Hire Heroes USA clients (13 weeks), compared with the national average (26 weeks).

Are you a CFC organization? What is your fundraising code?

Yes, we are in CFC. Our CFC # is 59856.

Anything else you’d like our readers to know about your organization?

Any spouse interested in receiving services can register via our website. They will be assigned to a Transition Specialist the following Monday to begin the process. Our weekly capacity changes each week depending on our transition workshop schedule and other events, but we typically have the capacity to assist 270–400 spouses, service members and veterans each week.

Facing a #PCS & looking for a job? Register with @HireHeroesUSA today. #milspouses

Click To Tweet

Hire Heroes USA has a 4-Star rating from Charity Navigator, and has a Gold Star rating from GuideStar.

We assisted over 3,400 military spouses and veterans find employment in 2015 alone, and we average about 60 clients confirmed hired each week.

It is important to note that we are not a job placement agency and do not guarantee that clients will find employment; however, we do our best to ensure that clients are highly prepared to find employment in their desired industry.

Our organization is recognized as a best-in-class military service organization by the Call of Duty Endowment, the George W. Bush Institute, and the USO.

As a national 501(c)(3) nonprofit, we provide our services at no cost to the client.

Headquartered in Alpharetta, Ga., Hire Heroes USA has branch offices in 6 additional metropolitan areas around the country – Torrance and San Diego, Calif.; Auburn, Wash.; Colorado Springs, Colo.; Dallas, Texas; and Raleigh, N.C.

For media inquiries, please contact CorporateOutreach@hireheroesusa.org
For spouses needing assistance, please contact Cori Williams at cwilliams@hireheroesusa.org.

For more information about Hire Heroes USA, connect with them on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Instagram.

Does your nonprofit organization serve military spouses? Are you looking to spread the word? Complete NextGen MilSpouse’s Miliary Community Resource Spotlight Q&A today. 

How to Take the Pain Out of Paying for College

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The sky is blue. The sun is yellow. College is expensive.

Really, really expensive.

The bad news? If you’re going to school now, you’ve probably missed out on scholarship season for this year.

The good news? Now’s the perfect time to get a jump on scholarships, grants and programs for whoever is planning on going to school next year.

The even better news? There are a lot of options for helping to make college a little less painful for your finances.

College is expensive. Here are the obvious and not-so-obvious scholarships and resources to help military families pay for college.

The Obvious Ones

Using the Post-9/11 GI Bill? Make sure you know the ins and outs of all of the benefits the bill comes with. You also want to know exactly how much it will cover for your educational institution. Watch out for for-profit colleges—many are in hot water for soaking military-connected students for their GI Bills.

If you’re using the Post-9/11 GI Bill and it won’t cover all of your costs, check out the Yellow Ribbon Program. Some schools participate in this program and make funding available to Post-9/11 GI Bill students to cover the amount that isn’t covered. The list of participating schools updates every year.

MyCAA is an educational grant program for military spouses. You need to make sure that you qualify with respect to your spouse’s service and apply online before you can use the grant money. You are entitled to up to $2,000 a year for a total of $4,000. The course of study needs to be approved before you can use the grant and you can apply it toward certifications, 2-year degrees and 4-year degrees.

Make sure that you apply for the FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid) as soon as possible every year. The sooner you do, the more likely it will be that you’ll be awarded larger sums of money in the form of grants and loans.

The Not-So-Obvious Scholarship and Grant Resources

I compiled this list of scholarship and grant information specific to military spouses. There are a lot of opportunities available…and hey, I’ve already done the leg work for you!

Military One Source offers a page specifically for planning for and paying for military children’s higher education. Check it out and pay attention especially to the nuances for military children when it comes to the Post-9/11 GI Bill.

If you’re a veteran or your spouse is going back to school, there are many websites and lists that can help point you toward scholarships and grants exclusively for veterans and active duty.

Other Tips on Footing Your College Tuition Bill

If you know that a majority of funds for your education must come from scholarships and grants, start as early as possible. Scholarship opportunities are available year-round, so the perfect time to research is now. Keep a notebook or Word document of information and update as necessary so you have your own directory of upcoming opportunities that you qualify for.

And that brings me to another point: make sure that you do qualify for the scholarships you apply for. If you don’t fit the criteria, don’t waste your time or the judges’ time by trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. You will qualify for other scholarships and grants.

Many local scholarships cannot easily found online (or at all!). Approach the community groups and organizations that you are part of as a member or volunteer to see if you are eligible for any programs.

Often schools will offer scholarships and grants for certain students. These might be available at the beginning of enrollment if you qualify and are selected or they may be based on the merit of your work or extracurriculars as you continue through the degree program. (I earned scholarships every year I attended college—don’t forget to ask your advisor about degree-specific and college-specific programs. You don’t want to leave money on the table!)

Applying for grants and scholarships can be quite the endeavor. Stay organized by reading each opportunity’s timeline, requirements and deadline. Chart it on your calendar…and then get it done. Make sure that you follow all of their requirements and stipulations. And submitting on time is an absolute must! Often judging panels will disqualify potential recipients because their application packet doesn’t follow the directions or wasn’t turned in on time—it’s an easy way to winnow down the pool of applicants.

If your child is young, considering opening a 529 Plan. Many states and financial institutions offer them as a way to put aside long-term savings for a child’s education. It’s truly never too late to start, and saving for their college, either partially or entirely, will help your child start life as an adult with less or no debt: a true gift in this age.

Applying for scholarships and grants can be intimidating—especially if you’re heading back to school after a hiatus. However, it’s worth it to cast a wide net and work toward helping to relieve some of the financial burden that higher ed can place on a family’s budget.

Have your own tips about applying for financial aid opportunities? Let’s hear them in the comments!

Veterans Crisis Line: Your Phone Could Save a Life

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by Rebekah Sanderlin, Guest Contributor

Your Phone Call Could Save a Veteran's Life

Did you get a Facebook invitation to join Buddy Check 22 yet? If not, you probably will. The movement started less than a week ago and it’s spreading faster than anyone imagined.

The Buddy Check 22 organizers first floated the idea last Monday and, within 20 hours, invitations had spread to more than 300,000 people, with 180,000 already signed up. Thousands of people who want to do something for veterans and Buddy Check 22 gives them a way to help.

Here’s how it works: On the 22nd of each month, you call a veteran you know. You tell him or her that you care and are thinking about them.

That’s it. That’s all there is to it.

It doesn’t cost anything but about two minutes of your time (or more if you’re a talker!) and it might just save the life of someone you love.

The “22” in the name comes from the gut-wrenching statistic that you’ve probably already heard: on average, every day, 22 veterans choose to end their own lives. When they make that choice, many of those veterans feel all alone.

A call or text from a friend might be enough to pull that person out of that dark moment and into the next one. It’s a simple and beautiful idea—and that’s why it’s taking off so fast.

You can learn more about Buddy Check 22 here.

A call from someone who cares, a reminder that none of us is alone—that’s the power that one person can have in the life of a friend. That’s The Power of 1. One simple gesture from one person really can save a life.

And you don’t have to worry about what you’ll say when you call. Just call, say hello and ask your friend how he or she is doing. Just talk.

You also don’t have to worry about what to say if your buddy needs more help than you know how to give. That’s where the Veterans Crisis Line comes in.

The Veterans Crisis Line is a free, confidential crisis resource that veterans and their families and friends can access any day, anytime, by phone, online chat or text. Trained responders—some of them veterans themselves—are ready to listen, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

Your Phone Call Could Save a Veteran's Life

According to the Veterans Crisis Line, some signs that your friend needs immediate help are:

  • Thinking about hurting or killing himself or herself
  • Looking for ways to kill himself or herself
  • Talking about death, dying, or suicide
  • Engaging in self-destructive behaviors like drug abuse, weapons, etc.

If you notice any of these in a veteran or service member you know, connect him or her with the Veterans Crisis Line’s 24/7/365 resources: Call 1-800-273-8255 and Press 1, chat online at VeteransCrisisLine.net/chat or text to 838255.

The 22nd of each month is an easy reminder of how high the stakes of not calling are, but you aren’t limited to calling only on one day each month. You can call your buddy any day.

1 call to the #VeteransCrisisLine can save a life. Dial 1-800-273-8255 & Press 1. #ThePowerOf1

Click To Tweet

In fact, September is Suicide Prevention Month, so right now is an excellent time to let people around you know how to get help. You can add your voice to the movement on September 1st, and every day before and afterward, by using #ThePowerof1 and sharing tweets like this one:

1 call to the #VeteransCrisisLine can save a life. Dial 1-800-273-8255 & Press 1. Learn about #ThePowerOf1: VeteransCrisisLine.net/ThePowerOf1

Together, with each of us reaching out to the people we care about, we can change that awful statistic. One person, caring about one person, and sharing the information that can save lives—that’s the Power of 1.

2 Reasons Why No One Should Be 100% Military Spouse

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With every wedding season comes a fresh crop of military spouses. Smiling, excited, determined and possibly studying a map to figure out where the place is they call 29 Palms…or Killeen…or even Fort “Lost-In-the-Woods.”

I’m not going to write my list of tips for new military spouses (some great ones already exist and you can find a few here, here and here). In fact, there are really only two things I think you should remember:

2 Reasons Why No One Should Be 100% Military Spouse

First, there is no road map for this journey you’re about to start.

If you interviewed 20 spouses who’d been married to a military member for 20+ years I bet you’d get 20 different stories. Sure, there would be some similarities among them (unexpected orders, move after move, inconvenient deployments, etc.), but the twists and turns likely looked a bit different for each and they likely happened at different times along their journey. I say this to tell you: give yourself a break. Often.

I don’t necessarily mean go get a massage or a pedicure, although I’ve been known to avail myself of those things from time to time. I mean, allow yourself to feel whatever way you feel on a given day.

If it’s a tough day, let it be tough for a minute.

If you’re having a great day personally or professionally, celebrate!

You’ll hear people telling you to get involved in this organization or ignore that organization, but you have to find what works for you. Try everything. Look into the spouses clubs and find out if your base has an FRG. Just see what your options are. Depending on your situation and with today’s technologies it may be tempting to steer clear of military organizations, but I really do encourage you to embrace SOME part of the military life.

When I got married, I was 30 years old; I had served in the Navy Reserves and had been with my sailor for 4 years—I even worked in the defense sector as a civilian. Honestly, with my experience and perspective, I didn’t think my husband being in the Navy would be a big deal.

Obviously, I knew we would have to go through deployments and other separations, and somewhere in the back of my mind I knew the dangers that could accompany those deployments, but I didn’t think his serving would have a huge effect on my day-to-day life and certainly not on my career.

For the most part, unless he was deployed, we both simply went to work and came home and I didn’t give the rest of it much thought. I didn’t get involved with command picnics or go to family day—I could barely bring myself to skim the emails from the ombudsman (key spouse).

Then it happened. I was pregnant with our son and I was laid off. Not long after that, hubby came home and told me that although we thought we were staying put, we were actually going to PCS.

All of a sudden, the military was playing a very large part in my everyday life.

I couldn’t really go look for a new job because we’d be leaving. I no longer had benefits of my own and needed to use Tricare. I very quickly became able to recite my husband’s Social Security number. Soon we moved to our new duty station and for the first time ever we moved on base.

Talk about a change of pace…I wouldn’t change it though: I learned during those times how important our military family can be.

Even though our new command was a joint one that didn’t have an active FRG and there wasn’t a lot in terms of command activities, I still immersed myself in many things military.

Through my work with In Gear Career, I also met a lot of career-minded military spouses who were attempting to return to the workforce after 5, 10 or even 20+ years of staying at home. During those home years many of them dedicated themselves fully to taking care of their own families, but also to serving other military families and military-related causes. There is, of course, absolutely nothing wrong with dedicating time to these organizations–after all, I did just encourage you to do so.

2 Reasons Why No One Should Be 100 Percent Military Spouse

The thing is, you can’t win with either extreme.

If you choose the path of ignoring the military, you may miss some wonderful friendships, some necessary information and the opportunity to serve other military families.

If you choose to dive in fully and pay attention only to the military you may also miss the opportunity to make some great friends, pursue your own career or develop an identity that doesn’t revolve around what your spouse does for work.

None of us can be 100% military spouse or 100% civilian.

This brings me to the second point: I believe we as military spouses have a unique opportunity in our position as both a member of the military community and a civilian. With this position we are perfectly poised to serve as a bridge between both communities.

Think about it: as a population (and sometimes even as an individual) we’ve lived everywhere. We’ve lived in small towns, we’ve lived in cities and many locations in between across this great country of ours; often we’ve also lived in other countries. This can make us relatable, it certainly makes us adaptable and if you’ve read any of my other career-focused articles, you know I think it makes us a great asset to potential employers.

So how can we use this power for good?

Learn about your new community when you move there (or before). What is important to members of that city or town? How does having the military in their area affect everyday life for the citizens?

Then learn about your new installation. How do they operate? Where can you get involved? Where do the two things collide for your family and for the families throughout the community? Many chambers of commerce in towns with military installations have a military affairs council; find out if there is a way for you to be involved. There are bound to be organizations geared toward veterans in those communities as well. Check out organizations like Team RWB, their entire mission is forming community and encouraging veterans and military families to engage with members of their surroundings.

Get involved in both the military life and your communities. This will not only serve you during the time that you live in those areas. The connections you make in those localities may serve you for years to come. This type of engagement will also serve your family when the time comes for you to transition out of active military service.

You will not be a stranger to civilian organizations and you will not be a stranger to being both civilian and military spouse.

Remember, we are in a unique position and there is no one path for everyone. Look around you, both on base and off and find what works for you. You won’t regret it.

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