Females Combat Archives - NextGen MilSpouse

by Jennifer Kennedy, Guest Contributor

Making friends in the military can be hard. With our husbands picking up our lives every few years and placing us in places we may never have been – or may not even want to be at, it can be tricky.

I know your pain. I have been an Army wife for 7 years.

Moving is hard. Living on post has allowed for a sense of community but there is still something that complicates my friendships with my neighbors. What’s my deep dark secret?

I am in the Army too.

I have been in the Army longer than I’ve been an Army wife. And I love it. Everyone has “good Army days” and “bad Army days” but as your spouse can attest, the good outweighs the bad and having a career in the military is very fulfilling.

So why is it that when I reveal my job, other Army wives turn on their cold shoulder?

Other women in the military have experienced this as well. Everything is all good, we shop at Target, we wear the latest leggings, we Instagram our Red Cups.

But Monday-Friday, we serve our country while our neighbors are either stay-at-home parents or work at their civilian careers and for some reason, our jobs weird people out.

Confession: I’m an Army Soldier Looking for Friendship

I want to share 3 reasons why you should embrace your military ladyfriend.

I Can Decode Your Husband

Everyone knows the military works in acronyms. They can be tricky. Some even stand for 2 or 3 things! I know many wives who get confused and husbands who spend all day breaking it down for the soldiers so breaking it down for their wives may not be high on their list.

But fear not my friends, I know what these acronyms mean. I live them every day.

If you are ever confused as to why your husband is in the field (again) and what a gunnery is – hit me up!

Why do we need 87 different pairs of gloves? I am more than happy to tell you more than “it’s just what they gave me.”

I promise it is not hard to decode the acronyms and once you do, you’ll be able to understand what nonsense your husband and his battle buddies are talking about. Think of how impressed he will be the next time he throws out a bunch of acronyms about his next training event and you reply back with confidence about what the training exercise entails?

We Are in the Know

Units often know about on-post activities before the general public does. Parades, festivals, sporting events. Those are often “taskings” that service members have to provide support for – aka things your husband gets “volun-told” to do.

Want to know the route for the Memorial Day parade and the best place to set up your seats? I’ve seen the route. Your husband has too but he probably doesn’t care about it as much as we do.

Us moms are always on the hunt for fun weekend activities for the kids to do. We also know when local sport teams have tickets to give away, a head’s up on Thanksgiving and Christmas food and toy vouchers. Basically, if you want to know when the sign-up for free turkey is, I know when it is because I took the notes.

I Am More Than Just a Soldier

Of course, knowing your husband’s job and being able to explain it in easy to understand, non-military words is fun and all but at the end of the day, I am more than just a soldier.

I am a mom just like you. I worry about schools and daycares and preschools. I am just like you, stalking Pinterest for the best teacher’s gift or birthday party spread.

Yes, I wear combat boots.

Yes, I have to do PT tests and sometimes I work weird hours but I’m also a lady wanting some downtime. I need “girl time” just as much as you.

And I want to learn about what you do too. While I love my job, I do not always want to talk about the military. Are you a stay at home mom? How do you do it without losing your mind? Do you have a civilian career? What is it like?

Ladies in the military are not some weird “insider” to be looked at as a threat. We are your ally.

I get upset about going to the field just like you get upset that your husband is going to the field. The difference is, we can complain like girls do together.

We are also both married to a service member.

Your fears are my fears. Every time my husband has to leave town for work or deploy, I am just a big a nervous wreck as you are.

So, next time you see a woman in uniform, reach out to her. If she is anything like me, she is so ready for a conversation with another woman. We do not even have to talk about the military. Tell me about the latest Dollar Spot goodies.

Jennifer Kennedy is an Army veteran, Army wife, and grew up as an Army brat. Her husband, 4 kids, and 4 cats are currently experiencing all Fort Carson and the surrounding area has to offer. When she’s not exploring her duty station, she is blogging over at www.injeniouslife.com where she shares recipes, craft and sewing tutorials, and recaps of her duty station adventures.

When we shared the news about the end of the ban on Women in Combat on our Facebook page, in true NextGen MilSpouse style, you had a lot to say about it.

Women in Combat: Are We Selling Male Troops Short?

First Lt. Christel Sacco, executive officer of Company B, 1st Battalion, 61st Infantry Regiment, at Fort Jackson, S.C., is training to earn her Ranger tab. Photo Credit: Army.mil

Some of you shouted your support, while others remained skeptical about how opening up combat roles to women would play out in real world situations. A recurring concern many of you expressed is that women might not be well-suited to combat roles in the military, which begged me to ask you the question, what makes men more suited to the task?

By arguing that women are physically weaker, prone to emotional reactions and natural targets of unwanted sexual advances, what does that say about how we view our male troops?

Men vs. Women: Body Composition

We can’t argue the fact that women and men have unique body composition. Science says it all. Men have greater muscle mass; women carry more body fat. But interestingly enough, men and women share similar levels of muscular endurance, meaning that when women put their bodies to the test, they can go as long (if not longer, some studies suggest) as their male counterparts.

One of the very relevant points of concern with the end of the ban on women in combat is that physical standards may have lower standards for women, or be lowered for all troops to accommodate female combat troops, which goes against the spirit of equitable treatment. Although no decisions physical requirements have been made, the chatter is leaning toward universal standards for all.

Related: Women in Combat – Fact or Fiction

For our male troops, we know that body type differs, person-to-person. Not all men are combat troops, nor will we expect that all women will seek out combat roles. However, those men and women who do, will be the best of the best, no doubt in our mind.

Keeping Emotions in Check

When we say that women are so emotional, are we really saying that men are not? Or are we reflecting a societal role that we’ve placed on women and men?

The idea that women can’t handle combat because of their inability to control their emotions isn’t really doing any favors for our men. Are our male combat troops lacking emotion or are they trained, from very young to divorce themselves from emotion? And how does that effect our male troops likeliness to seek out resources to deal with their emotions following traumatic experiences that occur in battle? Does that impact their decision to seek or not seek assistance when dealing with PTSD?

Sexual Assault

The idea that allowing women in combat roles will inevitably result in an increase of sexual assault and violence says more about how we view men in our society than anything else. First of all, there is already an overwhelming amount of sexual assault occurring in our military, not to mention in our country. But the messages being sent about why there is sexual assault is one that begs me to ask, who are we victimizing?

My thoughts? We’re victimizing men.

When we say that women shouldn’t be in combat because of the threat of unwanted sexual advances, what we are really saying is that men are incapable of self-control. That they are mindless, impulsive individuals who are not only incapable of emotion, but are ruthless killers and, at their core, potential rapists.

When we tell women to guard themselves against rape because men are impulsive, we’re tell men, “Hey, guys, you’re impulsive and there’s nothing you can do about it. That’s just the way you are.” Is that what we really think about men? Really? What impact do you think that has when addressing the staggering number sexual assault cases?

Don’t Shortchange Our Men

Regardless of where you stand on the women in combat issue, we have to all be mindful of what we’re implying when we say women are this and men are that. And women have already been in (and died in) combat, even if they haven’t had the “official” combat role. Our male troops are highly trained professionals, capable of facing any challenge that comes their way. Let’s not shortchange our men, please.

I Am More Than Just a Soldier

I am in the Army too.