We’ve all been there, the rough patch, or rough patches in a marriage. Marriage isn’t always easy. There are so many ups and downs. The ups are easy, but the downs sometimes make us wonder why we ever got married in the first place. Falling in love with someone is easy, but remaining in a relationship is hard.
Love changes. You start out as that infatuated can’t-get-enough-of-each-other-vomitastic-ooey-gooey couple. You have endless time and desire for dates, talking into the wee hours of the night, and sex…lots of sex, but as time goes on you morph…but not into badass power rangers. You morph into blah-ness and become a stay at home couple. If you have kids you might trade the body con dresses for tee-shirts covered in baby body fluid. The mystery is gone…you burp and fart in front of each other. And you find yourself asking yourself where the romance went?
I’ll tell you where it went- nowhere. It didn’t go anywhere. As your relationship goes on things change. Sure, Hollywood makes it seem like if you aren’t always head-over-heels you are doing it wrong. Trust me. You’re not.
Cheat Sheet: Keeping the Romance Alive
Here are our tips for keeping the romance alive!
– Seems kind of lame but you can make date night at home romantic. Shut off all of those lights and make your own movie theater, but with adult beverages (if you drink) and your favorite snacks! Oh…and try sitting on the same couch, too.
– Make an effort to compliment your spouse. After a while you probably stopped telling your honey that she looks pretty, you assume she knows you think she’s pretty, I mean of course, right? Wrong. Tell her/him that they look nice. He will get a confidence boost knowing you still think he’s hot.
– If there is something bugging you say so instead of letting it eat at you. You can’t be happy if you are silently seething.
-Even if you aren’t feeling it, do something nice for your spouse. You might be surprised how good this makes you feel.
– Sex. Do it. Don’t treat it like a chore. If it’s not doing it for you anymore (that’s what she said) spice things up.
– Remember your spouse can’t read your mind. You have to tell them what you are feeling. You are feeling ignored? Tell them.
–Try not to take out your stress on your partner, it’s hard and it will happen. And when it does acknowledge it. Be the bigger person.
–Remember that life isn’t the Notebook all the time. Or even most of the time.
–Have realistic expectations for yourself and your spouse. If your spouse wasn’t a romantic when you got together don’t expect her to start just because.