I am in the final week of deployment sick. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve been sick in the last 9 months. It feels like every other week my daughter comes home from daycare with a new bug that eventually, lovingly, make its way to me.
And on top of the illness, things in my house broke over the course of this deployment, including:
A leaky roof.
A dead car battery.
A broken microwave.
A dead air conditioner (on the hottest week of the year, obviously).
Locked keys in the car.
Every time something went wrong I was convinced that Murphy’s Law was done.
“OK, OK, Murphy,” I’d say. “That was 3 more things, we’re good.”
But Murphy would respond, “HELLLLL NO.”
Here I am, on an antibiotic with 7 days left to go in this deployment. It’s so close that I can taste it. I can feel my spouse’s embrace and kiss. I can feel the weight of the world coming off my shoulders.
I want to move onto the frantic cleaning of my house, but instead I’m on my millionth load of laundry killing every germ in this house while I sit on my couch watching TLC. I want to make that welcome home sign and pick out the perfect outfit but I’m more concerned about remembering when to take my next dose of medicine.
If you’re having a deployment from hell like me, here are 9 things to help cope with our least favorite pal, Murphy:
9 Tips For Coping With Murphy’s Law
Smudging. A holistic ritual, often seen in yoga, this bundle of dried herbs helps cleanse your home of bad energy and negativity. You allow the herbs (usually sage) to smolder as you walk around your house clockwise, letting the smoke cleanse your home. I did feel a change in energy in my home after doing this, but it didn’t last long. I may do it again to get through the last few days of deployment.
Stock your freezer with ice cream. When all else fails, have your favorite Ben & Jerry’s flavor on hand, because drowning your sorrows in ice cream is delicious.
Show Murphy who’s boss. Powered by Sass says, “Break everything yourself before it breaks on you. SHOW YOUR DISHWASHER WHO IS BOSS.” Bring on the hand washing of alllll the dishes, but hey, at least you know what broke the appliance right?
Have a good cry session. When literally everything is breaking and everyone is sick, you just need to cry. It’s therapeutic. Let the emotions out so you can get back in the game and take care of it all.
Be optimistic. We like how Leanne thinks, “Stop thinking and focusing on ‘I hope nothing else goes wrong.’ What we focus on is what we get. Let Murphy be an optimist instead of a pessimist and life will improve.”
Alright, mindset changing…now!
Have the phone numbers ready to call. Whether you need to call base housing, your home warranty company or your doctor’s office, have the numbers saved in your phone. Because ain’t nobody got time for searching high and low for the number.
And while Google is fast, it’s not as fast as being in your contact list.
Let your friends help you. USE. THE. BAT SIGNAL. Seriously. I wouldn’t have made it through deployment without my friends killing wasp nests, bringing me medicine, driving me to urgent care, letting me crash at their house, listening to me vent, making me get out of the house and do something, and giving me the number of their handyman.
Just to name a few things.
I honestly don’t have the capacity to thank them right now, but I think each of them deserves a bottle of their favorite wine and a giant cake.
Call on your family. Even if you aren’t living near your family, they are always there for you to call and vent. I was lucky to have mine visit a few times to give me a break from solo parenting and do some projects around the house.
Plus parents know a lot of stuff. Can’t figure out how to clean something? Call mom or dad. They’ve got you covered.
Roll with the punches. As much as I hated, HATED, the constant sickness and brokenness of my house this deployment, I had no choice but to move forward.
Because that’s what we do as military spouses, we handle it. We keep our lives going back at home so our service member can do what they do best – their military job.
So yes, I used up a lot of my calls to my spouse talking about the best microwave to buy or whether or not the car had its 100,000 mile check-up or how pink eye hurts wayyyyy more than I remember as a kid, my spouse knew that I could do it.
I knew that I could do it.
Even Murphy knew that I could do it.
So when it feels like Murphy has the upper hand, know that you will get through it and beat Murphy’s Law. Every. Single. Time. Because you’re a badass. And nothing will stop you.