Military Marriage: 5 Things To Do After You Say “I Do”

Military newlyweds face several challenges when they first move in together. It’s no different for military couples. In fact, I’m sure military newlyweds have a completely different experience than our civilian counterpart.

One thing is for sure, military relationships have a different dynamic than most traditional relationships. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “are you crazy?” in the course of dating my husband. Sometimes I would actually question myself, but then I would remember how I feel about our relationship. I’ve never been so certain that I wanted to be with my husband.

Before I got married, my milspouse mother told me that the first year of living together will be the most difficult. My parents only knew each other a few months before my dad proposed and my husband and I maintained a long distance relationship for over a year.

I took my mother’s comment to heart, but didn’t really understand it until now – actually living with someone for an extended amount of time allows for opportunities to experience things in your relationship that you wouldn’t otherwise learn.

It’s been about two months since I started a home with my husband and I’ve already encountered a lot! Everything is so fresh in my mind and of course, I’ll continue to learn throughout our marriage. Here are some immediate tips that have helped me get through the biggest change in my life so far.

Don’t forget why you’re here. We’re at Fort Belvoir because the Army said so. No matter where the Army sends us, I’d want to be there with my husband. Isn’t marriage a life adventure? It can sometimes be hard to adapt to a new location or way of life, but remembering why you’re in this in the first place helps put things into perspective.

Be patient.

Change in any way can be an emotional strain to you or your spouse. Since I’ve been on my own, I never had to answer to anybody else – – and now add the military! I can be a stubborn person at times and want things a certain way. Marriage has taught me to pick my battles and compromise – nobody (not even the military) is perfect after all.

Prepare for the inevitable

. Ok, this advice I’m having trouble with accepting. Not even one month in my husband being back from an overseas tour, he’s slated for a two month TDY this summer across the country. At first, I was pissed. How dare the Army take him away again?! Well, it’s a reality milspouses need to accept – and I’m working really hard on it.

Discuss your life plan.

Do you eventually want to buy a home? Looking to start a family? Do you or your spouse want to go back to school? Whatever it may be, talking about your future gives you something to look forward to and can set yourselves up for the years ahead.
Have fun! I started hanging out with my husband because he’s a fun dude (and I can’t lie, he wasn’t bad on my eyes either). I like to think I married him because I didn’t want the fun to end. Be sure to continue to do the things that entertained you when you were dating, biking, hiking, watching movies, etc.

What helped you adjust to life as a newlywed milspouse? 

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