Military families everywhere are getting fat on the government dole. The latest example of the lavish military lifestyle? Condiments- specifically ketchup.
At Camp Lejune in North Carolina, the Commissary reportedly boasts a staggering selection of 15 different types of ketchup on its shelves.
“It’s appalling,” says Don T. Treadonme. “The American tax payer never consented to tax-subsidized condiments. Enough is enough.”
According to the Washington Post, Ketchup Gate 2013 is just the tip of the iceberg:
“…the next big war facing the U.S. military: confronting the enormous cost of pay raises, benefits programs and other taxpayer-subsidized services, which have increased almost 90 percent since 2001 and have become the fastest-growing part of the Defense Department’s budget.”
Given the state of the economy and national debt concerns, it’s no wonder that American taxpayers are calling on servicemembers and their families to do what they do best: sacrifice.
After 12 years of government handouts like hardship duty pay, hostile fire pay/imminent danger pay, and family separation allowance, it’s about time the troops and their kin started to give back to those who selflessly gave so readily to them.
According to servicemember sympathizer site, SpouseBuzz, Amy Bushatz says that she’s most concerned about tone (which I believe is one of the 10 different types of soaps offered via the Defense Commissary Agency) of the articles criticizing military pay and benefits:
“Servicemembers, retirees and their families, the tone says, are acting like privileged brats for expecting, accepting and clinging to the benefits which encourage them to stay military or even to join in the first place.”
Privileged brats? More like weaksauce warriors.
It’s only been a little over a decade of constant war and never-ending deployments, hardly what we’d call a major hardship. And don’t we spend billions of tax-payer dollars training you to do your job? After all, what’s a little PTSD when you’ve got an endless buffet of milk and honey, or in this case ketchup and mustard, at your fingertips?
Before you start clinging to your lavish benefits package like a wealthy family clings to their handicapable tour guide, remember, you volunteered for this. Taxpayers have been doing you a favor. You’re welcome.