Service members, military spouses and civilians alike have taken to calling military spouses throughout the Armed Forces any one of the many variables of the slur “Dependa.”
Some may feel that categorizing dependa as a slur is too harsh. But I feel the title fits.
a : an insulting or disparaging remark or innuendo : aspersion
b : a shaming or degrading effect : stain, stigma
The working definition of a dependa is a military spouse that just wants free child care for the dirty children she neglects, base housing to destroy and a poor unsuspecting service member to suck dry.
Yep, slur sounds about right.
I despise the term dependa. I truly can’t talk about it without cursing.
This term is used to insult and degrade military spouses. What the f*^% gives?
Here are 4 reasons why people need to stop using the term dependa.
Dependa is a disgusting gendered slur.
Although the number of male spouses continues to grow, dependa continues to be reserved specifically for female spouses. The same spouses that volunteer as FRG leaders, Key Callers and the bulk of the homefront’s volunteering force?
Nope, not having it.
If you wouldn’t say “dependa” to a military spouse’s face, with their service member at their six, you need to have a f*^%ing seat.
Dude, where’s my free child care?
Anyone who knows anything about military life knows that free child care is a myth of epic proportions. Do some people come into the military lifestyle with misconceptions and misinformation?
Yes, but that doesn’t make them a dependa.
It makes them human.
And those limited-use Child Development Center passes some spouses receive when their service members deploy are the equivalent of dropping the kiddos off to your Nana’s house for 3 hours…once or twice…a month. Chill with the f*^%ing judgment already!
Take me to your cleaner.
If you take 2.5 children, add a fur baby, multiply a f*^% ton of military gear, a full-time job and then divide your time across regular life activities you too may have trouble creating what equates a “clean home.”
And yet somehow military spouses find a way to create beautiful spaces in their homes and communities everyday. White Walls, anyone?
Our service members love us.
How can anyone claim to support our service men and women while denigrating their life partners? That’s not how any of this works.
The men and women of the Armed Forces come home to partners that are black, white, Asian, Native American, Hispanic, and of Middle Eastern descent to name a few.
They love us short, tall, fat and thin. Our relationships and daily routines are none of your damn business.
At the very least….keep dependa out of your mouth.
Military spouses have unique experiences, perspectives, goals and relationship dynamics. We would all do well to support each other as we uphold the men and women who service our country.