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6 Steps To Accepting Your New Norm As A Working Mom

By NextGen MilSpouse Staff Writer Leave a Comment

by Jen Roett, Guest Contributor

With T-minus three weeks until d-day (my due date), my husband, our 140-pound dog, two cars and a pocket full of dreams PCSed 1 million* miles across the country. The good news – I didn’t deliver on the side of the road like many friends and family predicted.

The better news…PCS leave! My hubs and I were fortunate enough to log quality hours together snuggling our new baby before we both headed back to work.

But that meant, the day I went back to work, our daughter started full-time daycare, and my husband went TDY for several weeks. Now, as a modern day military spouse, I’m luckier than most.

My husband was there for the birth
He didn’t deploy the second she was born.

For that, Army powers, I am forever grateful.

This combination of circumstances meant that I was adjusting to being a working mom at the same time I was navigating a new home with Murphy’s Law meddling in the background. My new, adult life hit me hard and all at once. It was ugly, it was sleepless and I’m not even close to having it all under control.

As I reflect on the whiplash of the last few months, I’ve realized this is just another transition to work through, something I’m prepared for thanks to the military life! Frankly, the toughest part was working through the process of finding and accepting my new norm.

6 Steps To Accepting Your New Norm As A Working Mother

Step 1. Admit Things Have Changed

This one is tough. The hallmark of a military spouse is being able to reinvent themselves from one stage of life to the next. But that doesn’t mean we don’t mourn the passing of those stages.

For me, I went from being a single, young professional living in the city to a married Army spouse living in Clarksville, Tenn. When my cowboy boots hit the ground on a cold December day in Tennessee, I thought that previous version of myself was gone forever!

But little did I realize that you can still wear cowboy boots in Tennessee, I was days away from landing a new job, and it was there that I’d make some of best friends of my life.

Was the tiny Army town the same as uptown Dallas? Absolutely not! But that small town had a lot of good to offer once I accepted my new surroundings with an open mind.

Step 2. Find Your Sanity

Take care of yourself first. Find time, however short, for things that rejuvenate you.

My last job at our previous duty station came with an hour commute. I found sanity by obsessively listening to podcasts (I’m looking at your NGMS Happy Hour) and not to mention I was fully up to speed on current events.

Two jobs ago, I worked out every day and never left home without a Fitbit.

This duty station, comes with a TON of traffic and our new baby, so any free time is typically spent singing the ABC’s in my Mom ride. How did I adapt? I started running again. I have my groceries delivered. I recognize that the CrossFit version of me from last duty station is on hold and the “I casually run with a stroller when the weather is moderate” version of me has arrived.

The “I casually run with a stroller when the weather is moderate” version of me has arrived.

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Step 3. Outsource What You Don’t Have Time For

I once put my best foot forward at a Change of Command ceremony with (awesome) store bought cookies, when the Commander complimented said cookies and asked if I made them. I kindly responded with a thank you, but I outsource my baking.

We all have more than enough on our plates, so prioritize your commitments and outsource – without guilt or judgement! Maybe you were a lean mean baking machine before you started your new job and now you are lucky to make brownies from a box; no judgement!

Prioritize your commitments and outsource – without guilt or judgement!

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Be picky about where you spend your energy.

Step 4. Talk To Your Network

Family, friends, colleagues whoever makes up your circle of trust…talk, open up and you’ll be surprised what you can learn! In my current job, I’ve been blessed with an amazing leader. She’s the type of person that I can call and say “Hey, I just sprayed gasoline on my face at the gas pump…I’m going to need the day off” and she’ll respond by FedExing a box of ice cream (true story).

Even more so, military spouse friendships are special. When you are 5.5 months into a 9-month deployment, these are the people who know, not from books or TV shows, but through muscle memory what you are going through. These are the friends that can prop you up and remind you when (all) the things happen on a deployment/TDY/week at the field. This too shall pass and you’ll be ready to rock when it does!

Step 5. Get Into A Routine

According to my high school cheering coach, it takes three weeks to get into a routine. Once you have a routine, your behavior is more predictable!

Once I get into a groove, it’s easy to know how and when I’ll get everything accomplished! If you don’t believe my cheering coach (and you should), watch this speech from Naval Adm. William H. McRaven where he describes how the habit of making your bed each day can change the world.

Step 6. Enjoy It…Things Will Change Again Soon!

The only thing that is constant in this crazy life is change! Be proud of what you’ve accomplished and brace yourself because the next transition is right around the corner!

Jen is a HR Business Partner at General Electric Aviation, Mother, Army spouse, and self-proclaimed Gypsy. She enjoys traveling, exploring and pretending to be the next Iron Chef. Wherever she lays her hat is her home… but she’s actually from West Virginia. Let’s GOO Mountaineers!

“Don’t Settle For A Job That You Know You Will Not Like.”

By NextGen MilSpouse Staff Writer Leave a Comment

NextGen MilSpouse is going beyond traditional career tips and tricks for military spouses! We are sharing the real stories of working military spouses (just like you!) and their professional success stories on Wednesdays.

Name: Lisa Treat

Years as a military spouse:

Tell us your profession:

Administrative Assistant at a Military Treatment Facility (on-base hospital) for the Chief Medical Officer.

I am really a jack of all trades at this point. I manage and control all incoming and outgoing correspondence to make sure it is in accordance with Army rules and regulations. I prepare policies and procedures for specific departments to adhere too. Make travel arrangements for individuals in my section.

Is this full-time, part-time, hourly, contract or freelance work?

Full-time

How long have you been working in this career field?

8 years

Do you work in an office, telecommute from home (or Starbucks), or a little bit of both?

Office

Tell us one thing you love about your job.

I love working with the military personnel and civilians alike. There is constant change and new people coming in to meet. Also, a new challenge and different things to learn with the Army.

How did you get this position? Was it a resume, referral, job fair? Spill your magic.

I applied through usajobs.gov with my resume and help from the on-base civilian office. Little known fact is that there is a huge difference between a civilian and military resume.

What is your No. 1 tip for a military spouse on the hunt for a job?

Be consistent and make sure to talk to the civilian services on your post to receive your preferences within the first 18 months of PCSing.

How do you feel about failure?

I hate it and I am a very persistent person so I normally find a compromise for myself so I don’t feel like a failure.

What’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced while trying to maintain a career while living the military lifestyle?

Trying to explain how I can be an asset to a company/organization within the window that I am there.

Also, not really knowing how long we will be in one place is always an interesting conversation too.

What is the best piece of career advice you’ve ever received?

Don’t settle for a job that you know you will not like. It’s not good for your self esteem and it’s not good for that company either.

I took a job once that I knew was too slow-paced for me but I need to get out of the house so I took it. After a few weeks I spoke to the owner who then told me that she knew I was too high-speed for her company and respected me wanting to move on.

Who is in your support squad?

My husband, my parents, brothers, friends near and far, and my three daughters.

Do you and your spouse or partner split household tasks? How do you do it?

Yes and no. He deploys frequently on short missions so it comes a point that it’s just easier if I do it. I have enlisted the help of my children for “chores.”

Share your best life-hack for saving time or sanity during the work week.

Best life-hack (that I don’t follow enough) pre-make my lunches, pre-pack my workout bag, or generally do as much as you can the night before.

Tell us one piece of tech you couldn’t live without that isn’t your phone.

Netflix for my sanity and my kids’ sanity; we do not have cable and they have done a great job on the Kids Netflix of promoting educational shows.

What’s your must-have song on your productivity playlist?

Anything from 90s Country

If you had an extra hour in your day, what would you do?

I would get more into woodworking projects. That is one hobby that I have found an interest in that I never have time to practice.

If you were a superhero, what would be your super power?

To just twitch my nose (like Samantha on “Bewitched”) and have my house clean! I have hired housekeepers before and didn’t think they did a good enough job so I have stopped and went back to doing it on my own.

Are you a working military spouse? Do you want to share your career tips and tricks? Fill out the MilSpouses Who Work It Q&A today. Click here to complete our questionnaire.

“It Took Me Over A Year To Find This Job And If I’d Have Given Up I Wouldn’t Be Here.”

By NextGen MilSpouse Staff Writer Leave a Comment

Name: Jen Jones

Years as a military spouse:

1.5

Tell us your profession:

Sustainability Coordinator. I also moonlight as a dance teacher.

Is this full-time, part-time, hourly, contract or freelance work?

Full time

How long have you been working in this career field?

6 years

Do you work in an office, telecommute from home (or Starbucks), or a little bit of both?

Office

Tell us one thing you love about your job.

I get to feel like I’m doing something positive for the world.

How did you get this position? Was it a resume, referral, job fair? Spill your magic.

Mixture of luck, experience, and some excellent support and resources from Hiring Our Heroes particularly their AMPLIFY session.

You can learn more about AMPLIFY here and here.

What is your No. 1 tip for a military spouse on the hunt for a job?

Persistence is key! It took me over a year to find this job and if I’d have given up I wouldn’t be here.

Also don’t be too proud to work where you have to to get the skills/money you need while you’re looking for the perfect opportunity.

I served pizza and adjunct taught until I could find this job.

How do you feel about failure?

I have a tangled relationship with failure!

There are so many lessons to be leaned from failing and I’m always talking about its merits to the students I work with and to my colleagues. But when I experience failure I take it really hard.

Malcolm Gladwell’s article “The Art of Failure” and Brené Brown’s work have both helped me to get better at using failure for a purpose.

What’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced while trying to maintain a career while living the military lifestyle?

For me, it’s been getting comfortable with the fact that the military is the non-negotiable priority #1. I’ve only been at this for a little while and thankfully haven’t had to deal with it too much (though I know it’s coming.)

But as a strong and independent women who is very career-driven I have to remind myself a lot why we are doing this and why my career has to come second.

What is the best piece of career advice you’ve ever received? Tell us the worst too, while you’re at it.

Best: the concept of a “crooked trajectory” from my first boss. We all have a path and some of our paths seem to be crooked and going all over the place until you find a job that all the seemingly random skills you’ve accumulated come together to make you really good at it.

Worst: the traditional idea of figuring out what you want to do when you’re 18, getting a degree in that, and then working in that job for the rest of your life.

My job didn’t even exist when I went to college.

Who is in your support squad?

Hiring Our Heroes Military Spouse Professional Network folks, my former work wife and BFF who’s also a milspouse serving in Hungary (she’s a BAMF), my sisters, and of course my sailor.

Do you and your partner split household tasks? How do you do it?

We literally took a chalkboard easel left over from the wedding and wrote out all the chores and their frequency and split them up by workload. I was doing most of it until I got hired full-time and really was feeling overwhelmed with it all.

And we don’t even have kids (you warrior moms amaze me).

I’m lucky that my husband (though sometimes begrudging) is willing to help out.

Share your best life-hack for saving time or sanity during the work week.

1) Sometimes it doesn’t matter that your house doesn’t look like Joanna Gaines just left. This is a hard one for me but when there’s only so much time you have to prioritize what matters.

2) One of the awesome speakers at AMPLIFY gave me this gem – outsource when possible. I would have never considered hiring a housekeeper but am now looking for someone to help so I can placate my analyses and still make #1 happen.

Tell us one piece of tech you couldn’t live without that isn’t your phone.

The Google software suite!

Favorite app for making the most of your day?

Apple “reminders”

What’s your must-have song on your productivity playlist?

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis “Can’t Hold Us” and any Disney classic (belted at the top of my lungs, of course).

If you had an extra hour in your day, what would you do with it?

Sleep?? Yoga or meditate. They always end up at the end of the priority list even though I know how much they benefit me.

If you were a superhero, what would be your super power?

Slow down and speed up time – to help through the hard stuff and cherish the good stuff

Are you a working military spouse? Do you want to share your career tips and tricks? Fill out the MilSpouses Who Work It Q&A today. Click here to complete our questionnaire.

“With 15 Years Of Experience And A Great Resume, I Didn’t Think I Would Need Military Spouse Preference But Within A Month Of Signing Up, I Had Two Offers; One As A GS-12 And One As A GS-13.”

By NextGen MilSpouse Staff Writer Leave a Comment

Name: Elizabeth Peace

Years as a military spouse:

Tell us your profession:

Public Affairs Specialist for DoD (Department of the Army, GS-12) and Mrs. Ft. Meade competed for Mrs. Maryland in May on my platform Operation Innocence: Creating safe homes for children

Is this full-time, part-time, hourly, contract or freelance work?

Full time

How long have you been working in this career field?

15 years as a journalist, 3 in public affairs, 6 as an advocate

Do you work in an office, telecommute from home (or Starbucks), or a little bit of both?

Office and a lot of TDYs

Tell us one thing you love about your job.

Getting to do my intended career. Having to leave journalism I felt nearly destroyed me.

Getting to work in media and communication has made me feel whole again.

How did you get this position? Was it a resume, referral, job fair? Spill your magic.

Facebook groups!

I left journalism two years ago and got a job in Congress in D.C. I knew that wasn’t a great solution for me and tried for two years to find another job. I nearly gave up until another milspouse in a milspouse career group told me about CPAC and military preference.

With 15 years of experience and a great resume, I didn’t think I would need military spouse preference but within a month of signing up, I had two offers; one as a GS-12 and one as a GS-13.

I took the GS-12 because it was offered first and I’m glad I did. The 13 would’ve been a commute to the Pentagon and to be honest, would have been more up my lane job-wise, but I never realized how much I would LOVE the job the Army offered. I’m incredibly happy here.

Another Facebook group, Veterans 2 Federal Government Jobs, taught me how to perfect a federal resume.

What is your No. 1 tip for a military spouse on the hunt for a job?

Broaden your options and hire Lex Levin to write your resume.

When I left my job as a news anchor, I ONLY wanted to work in journalism. I was deadset on it. Now I’m a Public Affairs Officer and my husband says he’s never seen me this happy workwise.

How do you feel about failure?

I used to take it very personally but I’m learning that failure just means you tried something. I don’t give up easily but I do need to practice not letting failure make me feel like I have some serious personal faults.

What’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced while trying to maintain a career while living the military lifestyle?

My TDYs. I ended up taking a job as a civilian with an Army unit that travels more than 100 days a year. It’s incredibly exciting and came at the right time as my husband doesn’t deploy much now that he’s in D.C.

However, I rarely left my two children before now and that is incredibly difficult to do even though my TDYs are always less than 10 days at a time.

The other challenge is planning anything! He gets orders for three years and they change after two. I want to start planning moving home in the future and I know that I have no control over where we go until he finishes his 30 years – 15 left to go!

What is the best piece of career advice you’ve ever received? Tell us the worst too, while you’re at it.

Get a mentor and be a mentor. No matter how long you’ve been in a career, there is always someone with more experience that you can learn from. Then you should pass that on to the next generation.

I think the worst was to not take certain jobs because “I’m a mom.” My children absolutely come first but there are some people who think that if you have to work, you should only work as, say a receptionist. Nothing against receptionist jobs!

But you can be a good mom and go TDY, be a police officer (which I did when I served in the military), be a service member, etc.

Your career doesn’t make you a bad parent but by turning down what you love if you can balance work and family, you’re really telling yourself that you no longer matter and you’re showing your children to give up on their dreams.

Who is in your support squad?

My best friend!!!! I call her about everything!

And, of course, my husband. I couldn’t go TDY very easily without his support. I’m lucky he understands my job and my love for traveling and is being supportive.

Do you and your spouse or partner split household tasks? How do you do it?

We split. I’m a bit old-fashioned in that I still think he should the “heavy lifting” like take out the trash, clean up the dog poop. And yet, not so much that he doesn’t care when I make more money than him and he is the cook every night.

I do the laundry and up until this new job, the children’s homework and schooling was left up to me mostly.

He’s much more hands-on now that he’s back from two years unaccompanied in Japan.

Share your best life-hack for saving time or sanity during the work week.

Prioritize, delegate, breath, yoga, sleep. I like to keep up on housework and do a little each day, giving the kids chores, so that it doesn’t all pile up on precious weekends where we could be spending time together.

Exercise and sleep is KEY for keeping my emotions and stress level in check.

And date night. We disagree less when we go on regular date nights.

Tell us one piece of tech you couldn’t live without that isn’t your phone.

Alexa and Google home (yep, I have both)

Favorite app for making the most of your day?

I still use a paper agenda for planning out my day but I also input everything into a Google family calendar. It’s a lifesaver for me and my husband.

What’s your must-have song on your productivity playlist?

I listen to motivational speeches on YouTube instead.

If you had an extra hour in your day, what would you do with it?

I’d like to say I don’t use that time to randomly scroll Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. That I would spend it writing my next book or advocating for children.

But sometimes I mindlessly scroll social media. I guess we all have our downfalls. Mine isn’t watching “The Bachelor,” it’s Facebook.

If you were a superhero, what would be your super power?

Teleporting for sure!

Are you a working military spouse? Do you want to share your career tips and tricks? Fill out the MilSpouses Who Work It Q&A today. Click here to complete our questionnaire.

“I Didn’t Have Any Experience As A Travel Agent, But I Jumped In And Never Looked Back.”

By NextGen MilSpouse Staff Writer Leave a Comment

Name: Ashley Metesh-McCoy

Years as a military spouse:

Tell us your profession:

I am the owner and Head Experience Curator of Kinship Vacations. Kinship Vacations is a travel design firm that serves three very important needs:

We are a network of military spouses and veterans that helps people plan unique travel experiences that create new memories and deepen connections
We also provide fun, fulfilling, and long-term career opportunities to military spouses and veterans that provide them unlimited income potential in a portable business model that can go wherever life (or, the military) takes them
We are a social enterprise, pledging 10% of our profits to the Fisher House Foundation to help military families stay together in their greatest time of need.

If you know someone that needs help getting away on vacation to reconnect with their loved-ones, or a military spouse or veteran that loves travel and has an entrepreneurial spirit, please send them our way!

Is this full-time, part-time, hourly, contract or freelance work?

Full-time

How long have you been working in this career field?

4 years

Do you work in an office, telecommute from home (or Starbucks), or a little bit of both?

Home

Tell us one thing you love about your job.

I get to be my own boss and teach other milspouses how to do the same!

How did you get this position? Was it a resume, referral, job fair? Spill your magic.

I worked in the travel industry as a Corporate Competitive Intelligence Manager with Carnival Corporation, the world’s largest cruise conglomerate where I was exposed to the opportunity of being a travel agent.

I learned that the career (of a travel agent) is not dead like many thought, but alive and if done right, thriving.

I recognized that it would be difficult, if not impossible to maintain a career at the level I sought with my husband’s military career; therefore, decided to open my own business.

I didn’t have any experience as a travel agent, but I jumped in to get educated. I surrounded myself with a supportive community and I never looked back.

What is your No. 1 tip for a military spouse on the hunt for a job?

Network. The only way to get jobs is to know someone to get your resume and cover letter in front of the eyes of the hiring manager. It doesn’t matter how many jobs you apply for – if no one ever sees your resume, it’s all for naught.

How do you feel about failure?

Failure is scary, but regret is scarier.

I look at failure nowadays more as a learning opportunity than I had in the past.

As an entrepreneur you really must change your mindset around mistakes and failure as you will inevitably face these in your business and professional journey, but if you let them stop you from pursuing your dream or vision, then you will probably face regret and that is more scary than “failure” to me.

What’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced while trying to maintain a career while living the military lifestyle?

I am an Army veteran – former military intelligence officer. After I got out, I got a Master of Business Administration from a prestigious school. I have had a hard time maintaining a career equal to that of my business school peers due to constant moves, which leads to periods of unemployment, underemployment, and inconsistent career opportunities at my level of skill and education.

What is the best piece of career advice you’ve ever received? Tell us the worst too, while you’re at it.

The best piece of career advice I ever received (as a woman) is to do it like a man. A man wouldn’t hesitate to ask for a raise, toot his horn, ask for a promotion, or say he deserves all these things.

Therefore, why should a woman do any different?

Though it is harder for us to do these things (and there are a million reasons why), we really should change the game by playing by the boys’ rules, not society’s rules for women.

The worst career advice I received was anytime someone told me to change who I am to conform to an organization’s culture. If you don’t fit, you don’t fit. Don’t waste another minute of your time in a place that doesn’t work for you.

Who is in your support squad?

My spouse and my mother are really supportive.

But, I am part of a great community of other travel entrepreneurs (online with occasional in-person business retreats, etc) and we really have each other’s backs. I can’t say enough about how valuable this has been to me. I couldn’t do anything without them.

Do you and your spouse or partner split household tasks? How do you do it?

Yes. It ebbs and flows. Sometimes he’s traveling for work, sometimes I am. So, it all lies on the individual at home to get everything done.

We have a four-year-old daughter, so that adds to the challenge. We coordinate our annual calendar together to deconflict travel dates.

We split the household chores when we’re both home.

Share your best life-hack for saving time or sanity during the work week.

I hired a bi-weekly housekeeper.

I outsource some of the aspects of my business.

I time-block when possible.

Tell us one piece of tech you couldn’t live without that isn’t your phone.

My Customer Relationship Management system – Traveljoy.com

Favorite app for making the most of your day?

Trello

What’s your must-have song on your productivity playlist?

Anything David Bowie

If you had an extra hour in your day, what would you do with it?

Paint or make art!

If you were a superhero, what would be your super power?

To influence people’s thoughts and moods.

Are you a working military spouse? Do you want to share your career tips and tricks? Fill out the MilSpouses Who Work It Q&A today. Click here to complete our questionnaire.

“Our Military Moves Have Resulted In Me Taking Three Bar Exams…So Far.”

By NextGen MilSpouse Staff Writer Leave a Comment

Name: Thea Pitzen

Years as a military spouse:

Tell us your profession:

Attorney

Is this full-time, part-time, hourly, contract or freelance work?

Full time

How long have you been working in this career field?

9 years, but not always full-time. I’ve done contract work, adjunct teaching, and various writing and volunteer gigs in addition to traditional private practice.

Do you work in an office, telecommute from home (or Starbucks), or a little bit of both?

In an office

Tell us one thing you love about your job.

As a litigator, I love that every day in my job is different. I learn something new and gain valuable skills from each and every case on which I work, and I’m incredibly thankful to have been able to continue to progress in my profession as we have moved with the military.

I also love that my job is, at its core, problem solving. I love being able to help colleagues and clients find solutions that work for them.

And, yes, I love to win.

How did you get this position? Was it a resume, referral, job fair? Spill your magic.

I found my current position when a legal recruiter found me on LinkedIn! I have found my past couple of positions through my military spouse network (specifically, the Military Spouse JD Network) and through sending cold copies of my resume to prospective employers.

As a military spouse, I try to never discount any potential avenue for job seeking.

What is your No. 1 tip for a military spouse on the hunt for a job?

Don’t discount ANY of your networks for job searching, and prepare yourself for the inevitable questions if your resume shows frequent moves and/or employment gaps!

I’m so passionate about these tips I even wrote about them for the American Bar Association’s Law Student Division. I think most of the tips translate well beyond the legal profession. Your alumni networks, former coworkers, local business groups, and even LinkedIn and Facebook can be valuable resources when you are job searching.

And, don’t be afraid to mention that military spouses are adaptable, resilient, team-oriented, and AMAZING!

How do you feel about failure?

I’m not a fan. Having said that, I think it teaches some very valuable lessons. As a litigator, I have a competitive personality, I am driven to win, and I don’t like to fail.

However, failure – on some level and at some point – is inevitable. I think the best and most productive response to failure is to consider why it happened, what it can teach you, and how you can avoid a similar failure in the future.

What’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced while trying to maintain a career while living the military lifestyle?

Licensing issues.

As an attorney, I have to be licensed in each state where I practice law. And while groups like the Military Spouse JD Network have made amazing advances toward licensing accommodations, for me, our military moves have still resulted in me taking three bar exams…so far.

Becoming licensed in a new state is expensive, time consuming, and stressful, and by the time you succeed in becoming licensed, well over half your time in that state may have already passed. And there are so many professions in which military spouses face these same issues.

Gaps in employment while seeking licensure can also make it difficult to accumulate the years of experience that many prospective employers want to see on a resume. I consider myself fortunate to have gained over three years of very valuable experience right out of law school, which set me up well to re-enter the profession, even after taking a step back for several years after my daughter was born.

But the licensing issues have been a very real hurdle time after time in my career.

What is the best piece of career advice you’ve ever received? Tell us the worst too, while you’re at it.

The best has been:

“you can say no.”

A little back story. Early in my legal career as a very junior associate attorney, I was working in my office late one evening when a senior partner popped his head into my office to ask if I could complete a research task for him. I’m not sure what my exact facial expression was (exhaustion? panic?), but his next words were, “you know you can say no, right?” At that point in my career, I really did need to learn that I could say “no” and sometimes needed to do so in order to give my very best effort to everything on my plate.

I’ve carried that (advice) with me ever since.

The worst career advice has probably been not to attempt to maintain a legal practice while my husband is active duty or not to have children prior to reaching a certain level of seniority in practice.

You can make both scenarios work. I have.

Who is in your support squad?

So many people – from my husband to my parents to my child’s preschool teachers, it really does take a village when it comes to most things, in my experience. But, I would be remiss not to specifically mention the Military Spouse JD Network. Finding a like-minded group of military spouses who can truly appreciate the issues you face (and help you solve them!) has been absolutely invaluable to me.

Do you and your spouse or partner split household tasks?

Yes, 100%. We have taken on different tasks over the years, depending on my employment status and his deployments and travel.

For example, when I have not been working full-time, I’ve shouldered more of the household tasks, like cooking, cleaning and laundry. When I work full-time, my husband actually does most of the cooking, which is awesome! I handle the morning routine with our daughter, and he does most bath times and bedtimes when he is home.

We do what makes sense based on our schedules, and it works for us!

Share your best life-hack for saving time or sanity during the work week.

I’m not sure it qualifies as a life-hack, but Blue Apron has been a big sanity saver. Not having to figure out what to do for dinner a few nights a week is so helpful for our family!

Also, investing in one really nice piece of home exercise equipment so that I can squeeze in a workout after my daughter is in bed has been a big improvement.

What’s your must-have song on your productivity playlist?

It varies (a lot), but lately it’s been “Thunder” by Imagine Dragons.

If you had an extra hour in your day, what would you do with it?

With an extra hour on any given day, probably just have a little “me” time! Between work, parenting, and attending to the house, bills, chores, etc., almost every hour of most days feels full. I relish any time to just watch a little TV, work out, or scroll through my social media to catch up on the news and what my friends are up to.

If you were a superhero, what would be your super power?

The ability to actually add that extra hour (or two) to my day!

Especially since becoming a parent, it never feels like there’s enough time for everything I want to do. An extra hour of snuggles with my kiddo whenever I want it (or she does) would be super power enough for me.

Are you a working military spouse? Do you want to share your career tips and tricks? Fill out the MilSpouses Who Work It Q&A today. Click here to complete our questionnaire.

“I Have Learned So Much More From My Varied Jobs Than I Ever Would Have If I Had Stayed In One Place.”

By NextGen MilSpouse Staff Writer Leave a Comment

Name: Kira Shuman

Years as a military spouse: 9

Tell us your profession:

System administrator at my current base, but usually I work in cybersecurity

Is this full-time, part-time, hourly, contract or freelance work?

Full time

How long have you been working in this career field?

10 years

Do you work in an office, telecommute from home (or Starbucks), or a little bit of both?

Work from home now, but I have telecommuted in the past

Tell us one thing you love about your job.

At my current job I love the atmosphere and the people. I always love learning about new networks and configurations, and since I am relatively new to this job, there’s still a lot to discover!

How did you get this position? Was it a resume, referral, job fair? Spill your magic.

I used USAJOBS to find positions available, applied, interviewed and was hired. I was very lucky to get a job here as there are limited slots in my field and it’s a gamble whether or not one will come open.

What is your No. 1 tip for a military spouse on the hunt for a job?

Get some mentors and grow! Jobs will come as a byproduct.

I have a handful of mentors. It’s nothing formal but I look to them when I have career questions. I recently found a new one through Veterati, a free program for military spouses. I already had all the cybersecurity credentials I could think of, and he gave me a new path and passion.

I have another mentor who helped me rewrite my resume for government jobs. She knew nothing about my job but she knew everything about resume writing! I had a sparkling resume already but she really made it shine!

How do you feel about failure?

It’s depressing.

It’s hard.

I beat myself up over it.

Then I let (failure) become the flame that lights the fire of my passion to do better, be better.

What’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced while trying to maintain a career while living the military lifestyle?

The diversity of locations for my spouse’s job…where there are limited or no jobs for me.

I’ve been lucky and was able to largely maintain the same career field, but at times I work in other extensions of my career field. I don’t mind though. I often find these positions to be edifyingly broadening and highly educational.

I have learned so much more from my varied jobs than I ever would have if I had stayed in one place.

What is the best piece of career advice you’ve ever received? Tell us the worst too, while you’re at it.

The best was always keep growing and learning. There’s an infographic I saw that said if you read one hour a day about your chosen profession you will be an international expert in seven years. That inspired me. Seven years can seem like a long time, but after 10 years in cybersecurity I can say all that reading (and growth) hasn’t hurt.

The worst was “I now see you as my peer.”

This was from a former boss after I passed a certification test cold that he had struggled to barely pass. I had long known I outqualified him in education, experience, and general knowledge, and he had been on my hiring panel. But…it took a side by side comparison after working with him for two years for him to even see my qualifications as equal to him.

I made a resolution that day to never underestimate and devalue anyone on my team the way he did me.

Who is in your support squad and what role do they play in supporting your career?

My spouse. Always. First and foremost. He is my everything, my rock, my sounding board, my partner in everything. He is the one person I can always count on no matter what. He’s the man behind this woman.

Do you and your spouse or partner split household tasks? How do you do it?

Split. The percentage depends on his position. He has had easier positions that allowed him time to do more, and more demanding positions that allow less flexibility…And deployments or geobach assignments that meant no help. But that’s the military life we love.

Share your best life-hack for saving time or sanity during the work week.

Sync calendars.

Since I work I can usually share and sync my work and phone calendar with my spouse’s calendar. It keeps us connected with our kid’s school’s events, our work, and any errands or extracurriculars we have.

Tell us one piece of tech you couldn’t live without that isn’t your phone.

TV. It’s my one escape from hectic schedules!

If you had an extra hour in your day, what would you do?

Catch up on sleep.

If you were a superhero, what would be your super power?

Ability to read and absorb knowledge at unimaginable speeds.

Are you a working military spouse? Do you want to share your career tips and tricks? Fill out the MilSpouses Who Work It Q&A today. Click here to complete our questionnaire.

“Volunteering And Substitute Teaching Were Vital To Getting Into The DoDEA System.”

By NextGen MilSpouse Staff Writer Leave a Comment

Name: Sarah Butler

Years as a military spouse:

Tell us your profession:

Third Grade Teacher – DoDEA School System

Is this full-time, part-time, hourly, contract or freelance work?

Full-time

How long have you been working in this career field?

7 years

Tell us one thing you love about your job.

I love getting to make a difference in the lives of children and parents. There are few things sweeter than seeing the “light bulb” go off for students, and then celebrating their successes with both the students and their parents.

How did you get this position? Was it a resume, referral, job fair? Spill your magic.

I began by volunteering, while I was waiting for my substitute teaching paperwork to go through (the entire process took about six months). After I began substitute teaching, I was offered a long-term substitute teaching position, filling in for a teacher that as on maternity leave.

While I was in this position, I was contacted by another DoDEA school to come in for an interview and got the job!

Volunteering and substitute teaching were vital to getting into the system because I had the opportunity to understand the “ins-and-outs” of the DoDEA system, and become familiar with the current “buzz” words that I knew employers would be looking for.

What is your No. 1 tip for a military spouse on the hunt for a job?

Volunteer and be persistent. Volunteering gives you the opportunity to see what employers in your area are really looking for.

If your name and face are fresh in people’s minds, they are going to remember you when it comes time to hire.

How do you feel about failure?

Failure is vital.

I once had a boss tell me, after I had a major failure, “If you’re not making mistakes, you’re not doing anything worthwhile.” That has really stuck with me, even after all of these years. As long as you’re being both retro and introspective about your failures, they will ultimately become incredible learning opportunities.

What’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced while trying to maintain a career while living the military lifestyle?

As an educator, it can be extremely difficult and disheartening to have to spend time and money taking recertification tests in various states. Reciprocity for military spouses who have special certifications etc. is something that is GREATLY lacking within the United States.

What is the best piece of career advice you’ve ever received? Tell us the worst too, while you’re at it.

The best advice I ever received was that “If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” I think Sir Isaac Newton originally said this, but it is the ultimate reminder that to be better we have to constantly seek advice from a variety of people with different perspectives.

I’m sure I’ve gotten terrible advice along the way, but I gave it so little thought, that I can’t remember it now.

As an Air Force spouse of 17 years, Kim helped to launch the Military Spouse Network for Teaching Professionals which supports military spouse educators. She is currently working to help streamline difficult out of state licensure processes for military spouse teachers across the country. Listen to Happy Hour Episode 73: Cause of Death Lack of Wifi to learn more about the Military Spouse Network for Teaching Professionals.

Who is in your support squad?

I couldn’t do ANY of what I do without my awesome support system.

My military friends have carried me through this lifestyle and stepped in COUNTLESS times when I had to work late and my husband was deployed or TDY. I have had girlfriends pick up my kids from school when they were sick and even attend back-to-school nights on my behalf, while I was playing my teacher role and needed someone to step in as my own child’s surrogate parent.

I would not be where I am today if it weren’t for the constant support and love of my military family.

Do you and your spouse or partner split household tasks?

Anytime my husband I move to a new duty station we sit down and discuss the pros and cons of me going back to work. There have been times in our marriage that we’ve made the decision that me being at home is better for us.

However, when I am working we sit down and have a lengthy discussion about what the expectations are for both of us. Obviously he can’t be around to split household tasks all of the time, so if he is getting ready to deploy or go on a TDY, I text him a list of things I want him to accomplish before he leaves; i.e. buy dog food, or sign us up for a monthly dog food delivery service if he’s going to be gone for an extended period of time (I don’t know why I hate buying dog food so much!?).

I leave him in charge of a HOME-COOKED dinner at least one week night. He gets to choose what night of the week works best for his schedule.

I also except all laundry baskets in our house to be cleared out and clothes to not only be washed and folded, but put away before he leaves for TDYs. It makes me feel like I’m starting with a clean slate.

Share your best life-hack for saving time or sanity during the work week.

Schedule one or two nights a week that you are doing something for yourself. Maybe that means a workout class or going out to eat instead of cooking. I schedule a massage once every two weeks.

Whatever your vice is; indulge on a semi-regular basis. Self-care is vital.

What’s your favorite app for making the most of your day?

The Bible app

Related: 8 Tips from Dual-Career Couples Who Are Making It Work

If you had an extra hour in your day, what would you do with it?

Read, read, read! (But that would also mean that I couldn’t be tired during that hour so I wouldn’t nod off)

If you were a superhero, what would be your super power?

Super coffee-consumer. That’s a super power right!??

Are you a working military spouse? Do you want to share your career tips and tricks? Fill out the MilSpouses Who Work It Q&A today. Click here to complete our questionnaire.

“If You Make Yourself Indispensable With The Quality Of Your Work You Can Parlay A Consulting Contract Into A Job.”

By NextGen MilSpouse Staff Writer Leave a Comment

Name: Grant Belgard

Years as a military spouse:

Tell us your profession:

Computational Biologist & Neuroscientist

Is this full-time, part-time, hourly, contract or freelance work?

Full-time

How long have you been working in this career field?

10 years

Do you work in an office, telecommute from home (or Starbucks), or a little bit of both?

Mostly telecommute from a home office

Tell us one thing you love about your job.

I am always learning!

How did you get this position? Was it a resume, referral, job fair? Spill your magic.

I started consulting for a startup founded by former colleagues, and was then recruited by them. If you make yourself indispensable with the quality of your work you can parlay a consulting contract into a job.

What is your No. 1 tip for a military spouse on the hunt for a job?

Do not take yourself out of the running before you even apply. Let the prospective employer make that call.

How do you feel about failure?

Do not fear it! If you never fail you are not taking enough risks.

I am not talking about risks with a negative expectation value (e.g. the lottery) or where the potential downside can be devastating (e.g. pouring your life savings into the latest fad investment), but calculated risks with a limited potential downside and an unbounded potential upside can be worthwhile.

What is the best piece of career advice you’ve ever received?

I was concerned that I would be unable to keep up a career in science remotely, as this is very unusual, but my mentors were very encouraging that I could find a way to make it work in spite of this. (There were some naysayers too.) Obviously this does not look exactly like a traditional career path, but thus far it has worked out well.

Constraints create a crucible for creativity, and one need not be restricted to the most common ways of working.

Who is in your support squad?

My wife has been very encouraging and supportive of wherever I want to take my career.

Do you and your spouse or partner split household tasks? How do you do it?

Yes, and we both work long hours and have a toddler so it is exhausting. We hire help where possible, and prioritize the most important tasks while accepting that we need to let nice-to-have-yet-nonessential tasks slip. (Besides Christmas, seasonal decorations are minimal. Household and yard maintenance wins over home improvement or landscaping projects.)

If you had an extra hour in your day, what would you do?

Family time outside

If you were a superhero, what would be your super power?

Not needing sleep

Are you a working military spouse? Do you want to share your career tips and tricks? Fill out the MilSpouses Who Work It Q&A today. Click here to complete our questionnaire.

“Due To Our Relocation To San Diego, I Have To Commute Across The Country To Go To Work.”

By NextGen MilSpouse Staff Writer Leave a Comment

Name: Jacqueline LaFevers

Years as a military spouse: 1

Tell us your profession:

I am an offshore facilities engineer for Shell Exploration & Production. I provide daily technical support to operations on a production platform in the Gulf of Mexico.

Is this full-time, part-time, hourly, contract or freelance work?

Full-time

How long have you been working in this career field?

5 years

Do you work in an office, telecommute from home (or Starbucks), or a little bit of both?

I work on an oil platform in the Gulf of Mexico for two weeks at a time and then I fly back home to San Diego for the next two weeks. It’s a 14-day rotation schedule.

Tell us one thing you love about your job.

I love the ocean views every day and getting to be hands-on.

How did you get this position? Was it a resume, referral, job fair? Spill your magic.

Job fair at my school (Penn State University)

How do you feel about failure?

Everyone falls down sometimes but that doesn’t mean it has to be defined as failure. Every stumble teaches you a lesson and will make you stronger.

What’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced while trying to maintain a career while living the military lifestyle?

The extra sacrifice to “make it work.” Due to our relocation to San Diego, I have to commute across the country to go to work for my two-week hitch.

What is the best piece of career advice you’ve ever received? Tell us the worst too, while you’re at it.

Best: Work hard and follow your passion

Worst: Do what pays a lot of money

Who is in your support squad?

My husband has been supportive and encouraging since the time when we were in college. He’s been with me every step of the way in my career and always stands behind me with whatever I want to do. He’s been very understanding of my current job situation.

I also have to give it to my parents who always pushed me to do well at school and follow my dreams.

Also can’t leave out my study buddies and mentors along the way.

Do you and your spouse or partner split household tasks? How do you do it?

Yes, considering I am not home half of the time!

When I am home, I try to pick up most of the chores since he has to do it the other two weeks when I am not home. We have a dog as well so he can be pretty demanding.

Share your best life-hack for saving time or sanity during the work week.

A planner and to-do lists

What’s your favorite app for making the most of your day?

Instagram

What’s your must-have song on your productivity playlist?

Thunder, Imagine Dragons

If you had an extra hour in your day, what would you do?

Spend it with my husband and dog

If you were a superhero, what would be your super power?

I love Harry Potter so if I could just do magic, that would be amazing.

Are you a working military spouse? Do you want to share your career tips and tricks? Fill out the MilSpouses Who Work It Q&A today. Click here to complete our questionnaire.