Moving. Almost never a pleasant or fun task.
Lucky for us military spouses, the military movers are sure to pack up some delightful items and create hilarious stories to share with our friends later.
Here are some of the best (or maybe worst) things that movers have packed over the years.
1. Bobby pins. Each individually wrapped with care in packing paper. Because they are precious, expensive items that must be accounted for without breakage.
2. When a friend stops by to wish you well and the movers pack his shoes. Now you have to open boxes to find his shoes before he can leave. Check the box labeled “misc.” or “books.”
3. The large trash can, which is city property, that simply MUST come with you to your new home. Even though it was clearly labeled as city property and put out at the curb.
4. Sugar should be dumped out and then carefully wrapped up, loose, in a few sheets of packing paper.
It’s how sugar should be stored and moved. The heavy duty paper sugar sack is just for show.
6. An avocado, garlic, one potato, onions, fruit and frozen dinners. What a fun surprise after a few months in crates! Look kids, dinner’s ready!
7. The fine china all packed nicely. Oh wait, that was actually the paper plates, plastic forks, Tupperware, and red Solo cups. Each item wrapped individually.
And the precious breakable dishes?
They’re in the bottom of the box with the stand mixer and random rocks.
8. The LIVE plants, still in pots, wrapped and boxed up. Needless to say, these rarely make it out alive.
But the dirt that explodes out of the box upon opening? That is just a gift that keeps on giving.
9. The dip, or maybe sunflower seed spit, bottles from the packers. One in each box. How much tobacco or sunflower seeds, can a small group of men go through in one day? Apparently enough to put at least one bottle of spit in 25 to 35 big moving boxes.
10. The ONE item you really treasure in your home: a toilet brush. It was in the DO NOT PACK room. It was definitely still wet from your pre-move-out cleaning session. And now it is moldy from having spent a few months in shipping. Perfect!
11. The Box of Death: all the super sharp kitchen knives, loosely thrown into a box together.
14. All the bubble wrap? Yeah, it’s on the bouncy ball your toddler and dog didn’t destroy over the last 3 years.
15. The grimy hunting gear, wrapped up in your real clothes, and labeled “Master Bedroom.”
16. Each and every board game, opened and then every piece individually wrapped, before being repacked. Lots of tape should be used to secure each, now perfectly packed, game completely. And it should take at least six to eight hours to complete this. #MissionAccomplished
17. Diapers, in all states of cleanliness and location. From dirty ones in the diaper pail, which was marked DO NOT PACK, to the cloth diapers on the clothesline. All of them packed, and wrapped in packing paper, ready to be opened in a few weeks or months. If you haven’t smelled eau de rotten hot diaper, you just haven’t lived.
18. Another favorite: eau de garbage. From the still full garbage cans, trash cans and recycling bins. It gets better with time, especially when stored for 3 weeks to 5 or more months.
Or when the trash ends up with your pots and pans.
19. You brought your closet full of clothes home from overseas. Did you want to return any of it? Because your movers thoughtfully packed the tags that were on your dresser, which you meant to toss in the trash six months ago.
20. Your car keys. So now you’re stuck in your old duty station FOREVER.
21. THE LIST. The one with all of your contact info for the next base, the checklist of stuff you need to do and other vital info. It’s so much more helpful when it is packed in a box, along with your spouse’s orders and the cell phone chargers.
22. The permanent markers, tape rollers and glasses belonging to the packers.
On one hand, it stinks to be the guy who packed his own glasses.
On the other hand, the nice permanent markers and tape roller are a perfect housewarming present! Especially when you get movers who refuse to pack your children’s washable markers.
23. The cat. Hidden in a filing cabinet, in the box spring, or just in a box. Let’s hope wherever your feline friend holes up is going door-to-door and not to long-term storage. Cats who are shipped directly to your new home are more likely to turn up alive, but skinny.