Direct sales parties go together with military spouse life like a Thirty-One tote bag filled with Scentsy candles, essential oils and every piece of cooking equipment you didn’t know you ever needed (because you didn’t) from Pampered Chef. Here’s 16 GIFs that illustrate our milspouse love-hate relationship with direct sales companies.
1. At first, you’re so excited to meet a new friend.
Someone I might get to hang out with IRL?! I wonder if they’ll be my emergency contact person…
2. Of course, you invite them over for coffee…
Okay, probably wine.
3. You have this fabulous conversation about how much you love/hate/are tolerating your current location.
Could the gym be any further away? Thank goodness there’s a Target nearby!
4. As it turns out, you both enjoy the satisfaction of working and earning income. Score!
I can’t wait to start working again? Am I right?
5. All of a sudden, your friend-audition starts transforming into a scene out of the Godfather.
“Girl, let me tell you about this amazing opportunity you just can’t refuse.”
6. You try to put on a poker face.
You fail at putting on your poker face.
7. You tell your new direct sales representative for ACME CO that you’re allergic to sales.
8. So, of course, she insists on booking you for a party.
How can you turn down the possibility of free stuff?
9. You think of a lie and you think it up quick.
My calendar is full? My nails are allergic to patterns? We never cook at home?
10. You end up at a party anyway.
Partly…okay, mostly out of guilt.
13. You spend a grotesque amount of money on something you’ll never use. Ever.
Of course I’m going to make mini canapés!
14. You promise to yourself that you’ll never attend another direct sales party ever again.
Nope. Never. Ever. Again.
15. At a social gathering, after a few glasses of wine, conversation turns to your dwindling candle stock.
What have you done?!
16. A week later, you’re at your next party.
Probably ordering candles. And scheduling your own party.